"...LAST year she drug out a howitzer over a pecan pie"
Posted on 12/28/2013 7:12:34 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
An Ohio woman is in jail after she allegedly stabbed her twin sister in the chest during a fight over an apple fritter.
Contisha Hayes, 21, and her sister, Tamara Delaney, 21, were in the kitchen cooking the fritter when they 'started to play fight' over the treat, investigators say.
However, the joke quickly turned serious when Delaney pulled Hayes' hair prompting an angry response. She allegedly took out a knife and stabbed her sister in the chest in retaliation.
Someone at the home, in the 900 block of Springdale Street in Akron City, called 911 after the incident that occurred around 11:30 p.m. Christmas night.
Officers arrived to find Delaney with stabbing wounds and she was rushed to Akron City Hospital for treatment. Authorities said her injuries were non-life threatening, Ohio.com reported.
Hayes, of Callis Oval, has been charged with felonious assault. She is being held in the Summit County Jail.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Okay, I’ll bite. Those apples are twins, too, I’m guessing.
In prison, no one will be messing with Contisha’s desserts.
I’ve heard there is a perfectly valid and excusable psychological reason for violence like this. It all has to do with being “blessed” with an abysmally stupid name at birth. The anger builds as one progresses from swaddling clothes to short pants to short tight skirts to full fledged skank status. Eventually the boiling anger looks for any release.
The answer is to find a judge appointed by the Messiah then go out and search for your next victim.
First Eden, now Ohio.
We need to ban apples.
Usually, somewhere in the mix, a baby daddy involved, even though he says he thought Sasquishita was Consiquita.
At least these two were fighting over something sensible.
Wow... I’m guessing she’s had 97945749875 apple fritters in her time.
OH yeah, notice the last names...
Wonder if one or the other got married or they are using their maiden names - with the mother’s last name being completely different.....
The more last names you has, the more benefits youse can get.
Outstanding show in the “Feats of Strength” portion of the FESTIVUS celebration!!
There was probly some great “Airing of Grievances” as well that just didn’t get reported on, but you know it was a great time had by all.
I think it's Lasonia.
Fighting over the Bible dies t make much sense. But a good hot apple fritter is worth waging a world war over! ( yes, I’m on a damned diet )
The fritter came out
Tamara
Get your bottom smaller
Fat Tamara
Give me some
Just think of your gout
Tamara
Don’t you eat that fritter
You fat lardo
Not a crumb
When you’re stuck with a knife
Your life
Goes slowly
So just stick out your chins
We’re twins
No strife
Oh!
The fritter came out
Tamara
So ya gotta give it
To your sista
Or you’ll pay
Tamara! Tamara!
I’ll stab ya, Tamara!
Don’t fritter
Your life away!
Tamara! Tamara!
I’ll stab ya, Tamara!
Don’t fritter
Your life away!
“non-life threatening”
Who would threaten ‘non-life’? Zombie harassers?
Well, apple fritters ARE pretty good!
Don’t fritter away your life, honey chile!
Contisha & Tamara....WTF!
0dumb0shit's & Holder's people! Never had the slightest doubt in my mind! Just some good ol' afro-amerikan play acting in da hood!
Butz, yer honor, I was really depressed I didn't get the fritter, so I was trying to commit sueside, and seeing my sister I thought it was me... honest.
Case dismissed sister...
Actually Charles beat me to it by three posts and 31 minutes and worked it into a poem to boot. heh
Looking at the victim, they may have been swallowed whole.
Okay Charles, you’re on my S-List too then. LOL
Way to go guys. Can’t believe it took folks that long to play off the biggest punch-line here.
"...LAST year she drug out a howitzer over a pecan pie"
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