Posted on 12/19/2012 1:16:20 PM PST by Lazamataz
Jan 18, 2013: I cannot take people any more. They are all so evil. I need to slaughter 100's of them. How shall I do it? Well, I could use gasoline, and block entrances to a building. I could concoct some form of poisonous gas and introduce it into a ventilation system. I could create an explosive and collapse a building. No, none of those ways are too good. I think I must use a firearm.
Jan 18, 2013: I purchased my firearm. It looks very scary, and it is black. It is a rifle. Now to purchase hi-capacity magazines.
Jan 19, 2013: Luckily, there was a gun show going on. I purchased 12 high-capacity magazines.
Jan 20, 2013: I went back to the gun show, and bought 2000 rounds of ammunition.
Jan 21, 2013: I've scouted the place I wish to do my massacre. I have a black ski mask, black trousers, a black shirt, and trench coat.
Jan 22, 2013: HOW DEPRESSING!!! I was on the way to kill all those people, and I heard on the radio that Obama and the Congress and Senate just passed a big gun control bill!!! Well, obviously, I can't do my massacre NOW.... I mean COME ON... it's ILLEGAL now. So, I turned my car around, went to the police station, and turned in my rifle, magazines, and ammunition. I WAS SO CLOSE, too!!! Those politicians, man, they are on TOP of things!!
Quick knockout piece.
Quick knockout piece.
This is why you ALWAYS get your hand stamped on the way out.
GREAT JOB
January 20th 2013: I have decided to buy a knife...
Aug. 7 1988: Met a nice Reverend named Wright. Sat in on a sermon. I like what this guy says. Still thinking about running for public office...
Ping me
I am perfectly willing to outlaw any inanimate object that has, of itself, harmed or killed any human. Then we just need to pass laws preventing water from drowning people, gravity from killing people in falls, and carbon monoxide and other natural gasses from asphyxiating people.
Oh No – I almost forgot – we also need to write good strong laws that will outlaw bacteria that result in human infections and possibly death including Smallpox, Leprosy, Botulism and Gas gangrene, deadly viruses including Ebola, Marburg, Human immunodeficiency virus, and all the rest.
There – now we can all live forever.
It’s a darn good thing you didn’t do that, mister. That would have RUINED Mr. Obama’s day. Right after his nice inauguration day parties and festivities and all that fun.
Laz..you have Hubby #3 written all over this one.
Knock it off, ya big flirt.
I'm sure that every insane murderous predator will immediately cancel all his plans for mass killing just as soon as all guns are illegal. 
I am always on the lookout for the next Ex-Mrs.-Lazamataz
Just met my next wife, upthread.
May I please be added to your ping list?
Thanks.
Fret not oh he who was disenfranchised from mass slaughter! For I have your solution.
First, Call the ACLU and tel them you attempted to provide a retroactive abortion service. Kinda a drive through thing, but at 200 yards. Then contact your nearest Democrat politician and explain to them that minorities, the poor and women seeking healthcare without their knowledge are being stripped of their rights by racist conservative Tea Party Legislators.
Within hours you will have a waiver from the White House and an invoice for a Ma Duce that will be flown in by Drone later in the day.
You’re welcome ;)
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