Posted on 02/14/2008 6:25:05 AM PST by reaganaut1
About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby—mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadn’t met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene.
“Ah, this is the dream,” I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: we’d both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).
(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...
I’ve been married to my Wife for 22 years. I love her and she loves me. That’s all I have to say about that.
Yep. Once a month whether you need it or not.
“I think you are vastly unfair to single people.”
Perhaps, but notice I didn’t say all. I said “some” and mean just that. Although I probably meant most. Divorce is traumatic as it should be. Many people don’t want to go through it again.
I didn’t say you want to be single BTW, most people don’t. Its just that many people don’t put their marriage first. That means the marriage should be before golf, before TV and even before FR.
I agree—— you have to tell them from the get go. Granted, if love is in the relationship, then it’ll work itself out. As an old geezerette and as someone who’s heard a lot of complaints (even in Freepmails here)....it’s a bigger problem than most men realize.
Granted, that’s just my opinion. But so many women really do love their hubbys, know they have great, kind, good men....so they sort of think “Well, the sex isn’t so good, but I have a good man so I’ll be content with being held.” That to me is sad.
Which is why emotionless relationships are usually disasters—— “Heck, I’ll go find someone who isn’t so picky and demanding!”
Tell me about it!
When I get home, I’ll even post the passage from that particular Ebook.
*ouch* Entirely too true.
The romantic "love" people feel when they first get together is nature's way of bringing two people together so they will over look each other's faults long enough to find they really care for each other.
The problem is, some people want that feeling to last. It doesn't. Loving someone is not enough of a reason to get married, you have to like that person as well. Like outlast "love".
My wife (of 38 years) and I are best friends as well as lovers. We each have many things in common, but we have an equal number of interest the other does not share.
I don't know if she just "settled" when she agreed to marry me, I never asked her, and I don't think she ever thought about it in that way. I know I didn't but then I was getting the better half of that bargain.
One thing this woman will never know and that is having a companion to grow older with, someone who has shared your triumps and your failures, someone who has nursed you back to health when you were sick and in turned you have nursed back to health.
Marriage is way more then "sex", that is the spice that keeps it interesting, but the real value of marriage is the sharing of your life with someone you really care for.
Not to worry. You aren’t the only one(s) who have figured it out.
Try not to blame women in general. After all: we were sold a bill of goods that started when I was little. That women should work and earn as much as men, that we can and should have career and family and let the ‘village’ raise our kids. That freedom of choice is a good thing.
So finding a good Christian ‘should’ mean that you find someone wise enough to ‘buck the trends’ and live by the proper code. Hang in there, James.
Bookmarking self-bump for when I get home. Hopefully, the thread will still be alive. :-)
Women have been socially re-engineered and that’s the problem. They have forgotten how to be women.
If I had continued to buy into it, I’ve have missed the pedestal my beloved put me on. I love it here.
My words of advice to any guy or gal out there, never SETTLE for someone who's rude to service staff... Its a huge window into their soul, and if they act that way their soul is not one you want to have in your life.
Thanks, Tax-chick. Needs to be repeated.
Many women appear to be more interested in getting a particular (high-status) guy as part of their competition with other women. Personally, I’ve always found this extremely creepy and vaguely homo-erotic.
SEVEN KINDS OF SEX
Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.
The 1st kind of sex is called Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say “screw you.”
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.
This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And, last, but not least,
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.
You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.
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