Posted on 02/14/2008 6:25:05 AM PST by reaganaut1
About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby—mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadn’t met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene.
“Ah, this is the dream,” I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: we’d both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).
(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...
For men: There is no such thing as bad sex.
the “etc” was to be interpreted as... well... what you said.
Yes, the “sexual revolution” certainly has “freed women” to have sex with men of however low of character that we allow, and that’s pretty low.
Good for you, women! Way to go! You’ve come a long way, baby!
Maybe I am a hopeless romantic, but when asked how our marriage has done so well (coming up on 25 years of marriage, 20 years of wedded bliss), I always say: Don’t marry the person you think you could spend the rest of your life with. Marry the person you could not spend the rest of your life WITHOUT. I did that. (And, of course, it goes without saying that babies ought to FOLLOW marriage, not precede it.— Just my opinion, but in this case, the correct one.)
"... Well, they do get it more often..."
I get married in 16 days, I'll get back to everyone with my results!
Reading the headline, I assumed this to be a pro-McCain piece.
I think the problem is not that women have expectations that are too high; I think their expectations are just all off. If you’re expecting a guy with a trust fund, looks like a movie star, and the romantic qualities of a fictional character, you’ll be disappointed.
Having a long list of qualities you’re looking for in a spouse and then not settling is good. I had a long list. It had lots of weird things on it (Christian, conservative, homeschool friendly, likes anime, geekier than me) but I found an awesome guy who met all my requirements and more.
I met him on FreeRepublic!
Waiting to long to marry and raise kids is an option, but it comes with more heartache than is necessary, IMO. Life's short...
Not much of a life for the poor child. These women should get pet lizards instead. What they are doing to their children is evil.
And yet they lack introspection and the ability to see themselves as others see them, so are thus locked into that negative pattern. The best case scenario for them is to grow old and cranky with their 20 cats in place of a man (or woman).
Partly, I blame our culture and society; partly I blame their parents who coasted by allowing their kids to be raised by the TV and the values it excretes.
Another thing Gottlieb is missing in its entirety is the War on Men. We’ve learned NOT to get married and NOT to make babies because of the utter ruin we’ve seen male friends go through when they marry, have kids, get cheated on or otherwise dumped, get divorced, get almost no custody rights, and get financially crippling alimony and support payments.
Sorry, but by and large, marriage in my generation is seen as a suckers’ game for men...
Gottlieb is typical of the kind of liberal feminist women who thought they knew it all but in reality didn’t. Femi-nazis thought they could rewrite human nature...in fact they didn’t believe in human nature. But when Gloria Steinum got married, I guess fish started riding bicycles.
A Woody Allen line - and one of his best.
I'll venture a guess and a response to the inevitable, "there's a whole industry dedicated just to weddings" mantra.
My guess, and it's a good guess, is that the industry dedicated to men's "expectations" is far, far more lucrative than the wedding industry. Why, you're surfing the Internet due more largely to men's "expectations" than any woman's fantasies of finding Mr. Right.
Girls should have standards, bargaining strategies, and fallback options, but should never, ever apologize for their fantasy of Mr. Right. It's every bit as valid as a guy's Playboy Centerfold Dream Girl.
Beat me to it.
I've been married 20 years, and I can't get an appointment! (j/k honey...thwap...CRASH...OWWWW!)
may I say, as a man who greatly enjoys sex, that your comment is very, very true......sex without love is masterbation...
If your fantasy Mr. Right is interfering with your chances of settling down with the guy who isn’t quite rich enough or handsome enough or sensitive enough, it’s a problem. If your “Mr. Right Template” is set up so you don’t settle for Mr. Wrong, then it’s a good thing.
Some of my friends used to tease me because my list of requirements was so stringent I wasn’t interested in people who met one or two, but not all, of them. They told me I’d never find the guy I was looking for. Ha!
I guess my philosophy is “settle down, don’t settle for”.
Most of my unmarried friends are that way as a result of living through the trauma of ugly, messy divorces in which both parents and the legal system put the needs of the child dead last. Go through that, and if you survive whole, you’ll swear never to risk inflicting on your own child what was inflicted upon you.
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