Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Are You A Democrat, Republican or Southerner? Find Out!
Email | NA | NA

Posted on 04/14/2007 9:53:35 AM PDT by dvan

What follows is a watershed question, your answer to which will definitively place you in one or the other political camp.

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reac hes you and your family.
What do you do? .................................................................. THINK CAREFULLY AND SCROLL DOWN

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
................................................................

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

................................................................. Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"
Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"

What was my answer? "Anybody got another clip?


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: humor; politics; views
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-22 next last
I had to share this one! LOL!
1 posted on 04/14/2007 9:53:36 AM PDT by dvan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: dvan

Saw it years ago and still makes me laugh. Note all the questions the Dem. asks himself; when asked about it,
he would no doubt reply, “well, we liberals indulge in ‘critical thinking’ which you Neanderthal conservatives are incapable of”.

Tough to continue to think when you’re in a coffin, pal...


2 posted on 04/14/2007 10:01:07 AM PDT by raccoonradio
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dvan

LMAO.

Can I say “A” on the “Internet” or is that offensive to the butt-challenged?

Is it OK to write “butt” or is that associated with cigarettes and the libs who blame smokers for all life’s problems?

Can I write “cigarettes” or is that a British term equated with an offensive term to describe someone’s alterative lifestyle?

Can I say that? David Gregory? Keith Olbermann? What is offensive? Please do tell. Your ignorant tactics are bafflin’ and troublesome.


3 posted on 04/14/2007 10:08:15 AM PDT by ConservativeStatement
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dvan

My mom would have said: “I’m NOT cleaning & cooking that thing, so don’t bring it home”.

My dogs would be thinking: “Mmmmmmn! Tastes just like camel!”

Thanks for the laugh.


4 posted on 04/14/2007 10:09:31 AM PDT by Mister Da (The mark of a wise man is not what he knows, but what he knows he doesn't know!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dvan

So your saying that Republicans are better shots that southerns?


5 posted on 04/14/2007 10:12:31 AM PDT by ThomasThomas
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dvan

I disagree.

The Democrats response would be, “If I shoot this terrorist, then I am his moral equivalent”.

One Freeper has a great tag after his name, something like, “A pacifist cannot tell the difference between an arsonist and a fireman”. That perfectly describes a large chunk of the Democratic party. These people are mentally unfit to hold public office, and probably to operate heavy machinery as well.


6 posted on 04/14/2007 10:19:23 AM PDT by neocon1984 (end the idiocy of post-modernism)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: BOBWADE

ping


7 posted on 04/14/2007 10:19:56 AM PDT by zip (((Remember: DimocRat lies told often enough become truth to 48% of all Americans (NRA)))))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dvan

got a good laugh out of that one, but i have a question. what if i was content with only using one magazine but wanted to use more than one shot?

am i a republican, or a southerner?


8 posted on 04/14/2007 10:26:57 AM PDT by dudewheresmytank (life is good and ammunition is cheap, use both freely)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dvan
Oh my, I just love happy ending stories. Oh, by the way carrying a couple magazines with you always helps. Amen.
9 posted on 04/14/2007 10:51:37 AM PDT by gakrak ("A wise man's heart is his right hand, But a fool's heart is at his left" Eccl 10:2)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dvan

A really, really, really smart Southerner would have answered the question when loading his clip:

A hollow-point filled with mercury alternated with a teflon coated armor-piercing (so-called cop killer)round.

In that case it’s bang, bang. Don’t step in the mess, kids.


10 posted on 04/14/2007 11:22:09 AM PDT by wildbill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dvan
Are You A Democrat, Republican or Southerner? Find Out!

Cool, an anymous chain email implying that there are differences between Republicans and Southerners.

How much you wanna bet you will never see the same chain email saying "Are you a Democrat, Republican or Northeasterner".

I'm guessing that this is nothing more than party spiltting boob bait for the Bubbas...pass it on.

11 posted on 04/14/2007 11:27:42 AM PDT by FreeReign
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dvan

This is an old one but is always funny upon re-telling. Semper Fi from a Louisiana marine.


12 posted on 04/14/2007 11:42:07 AM PDT by MarkT
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: raccoonradio

And .. if the military strategy is correct (which I believe it is) .. taking too much time to think about it will surely cost you your life. You must be trained to react instantly .. and without fear!


13 posted on 04/14/2007 11:57:01 AM PDT by CyberAnt ("... first time in history the U.S. House has attempted to surrender via C-SPAN TV ...")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: patton

too funny!


14 posted on 04/14/2007 1:06:38 PM PDT by leda (19yrs ... only 4,981yrs to go ;))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: leda

Yeppers. “Don’t bring that thing home, ‘cause I ain’t cooking it.”


15 posted on 04/14/2007 1:12:41 PM PDT by patton (19yrs ... only 4,981yrs to go ;))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: dvan

Only one problem I have:

I dont’ carry a Glock. I like Kimber.


16 posted on 04/14/2007 1:14:38 PM PDT by shag377 (De gustibus non disputandum est)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: patton

nope! not me.


17 posted on 04/14/2007 1:21:52 PM PDT by leda (19yrs ... only 4,981yrs to go ;))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: dvan

I’m a Monarchist.


18 posted on 04/14/2007 1:21:53 PM PDT by mborman (Never argue with an idiot; they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dvan

Funny, I haven’ seen this before, I thought I was a republican, but now I am sure I am a Southerner, even though I live just outside of DC.


19 posted on 04/14/2007 3:52:47 PM PDT by stockpirate (A nation that doesn't honor it warriors will be defeated by a nation that does. (read my profile))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ThomasThomas

ROFL


20 posted on 04/14/2007 4:10:16 PM PDT by Let's Roll (Today's question - Are Japan, China, and India emulating islam or the EEE-VIL West?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-22 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson