Posted on 03/17/2007 1:44:41 PM PDT by rface
I now know what I am going to do – But I am curious as to what other FReepers might do when faced with this situation.
What will I do?? (I know what I am going to do.)
I have a cousin whom I love, and with whom I am close. I grew up with this guy. We are both in our middle 40s. We both have gone through our teen-age years with some trouble along the way – and we both now hold good jobs. We both have done pretty well – in spite of our earlier attempts at self-destruction…..and in spite of some heavy burdens that life has thrown our way.
I was married a few months ago (my 2nd…and my last) and I invited my cousin and his “significant other” to our wedding. They flew in from Boston and my wife and I were very happy to have them here to be at our wedding.
I am very close to my cousin. I also like, and get along with, his “significant other”. My Cousin and I don’t see eye-to-eye on some things, but he did vote for Bush in 2000. And we agree on a lot of taxation and financial conservative views. He’s pretty much conservative-ish….sort of…(not that his politics has anything to do with this issue) ….except that he’s gay and he sent me a wedding invitation for me and my wife to come to the wedding in Massachusetts.
My Cousin knows where I stand on the Gay Marriage issue…. And my wife shares my view. Our views are not secretly held. We both think a Marriage is between a man and woman – but we both also think “civil unions” may be an option that Gay couples should be able to utilize.
The Question: Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??
If YOU feel very strongly about your relative's sojourn into the committed form of this behavior pattern & "alternative lifestyle", perhaps a clear but dignified conveyance of your convictions before the fact would be appropriate??
Then he would understand if you do not attend the event.
This is not a "wedding" or a "marriage" - I would not take a guilt trip over either choice that you make.
In the final analysis--
If your presence at the event, and your gifts or good wishes would violate your spiritual convictions and moral conscience by condoning his lifestyle choice---
Be faithful to your own conscience & principles-- politely...
Regards
Go, and enjoy the wedding. You invited him to yours, didn't you?
As another poster said, "life is too short". Politics, and that's all it is, shouldn't interfere with Family.
NO!
...he thought enough of you to invite you. Go and enjoy seeing other family members who may attend. All to often once you get pass 50 years of age, the only time you see family members, is when they are "leaving" this world.
Doogle
rface's compromise of going to the reception but not the wedding is a smart idea.
". The debate is done in Massachusetts; the people have spoken there"
Excuse Me? The "people" have never been asked! It's crazy judges who made this the law. The voters are trying to get a marriage protection amendment on the ballot.
Nyet. I don't like to encourage psychotics in their delusions.
I would go to the wedding of a gay family member. It would not be an easy thing for me to do, opposed as I am to gay marriage, but I would go and wish them happiness.
You can support someone without agreeing with their every position. I have both a sister and daughter in Boston, so I have plenty of experience with disagreeing but still loving.
Yes, where do we draw the line?
No
No.
"I have a cousin whom I love, and with whom I am close. I grew up with this guy."
You guys are both men and you are close.
The two of you can work this out over the phone with a heart to heart buddy talk. Working together, you two can figure out your boundaries, and figure out any compromises together.
Once that is decided then you can work out the cover story to tell your respective mates.
Just remember that during the discussion that you might have to allow for some wriggle room on his end too, because during your talk he has to maintain a part of his loyalty to his boyfriend.
Two good man friends should be able to speak freely and come to an understanding between themselves, as long as outside forces are kept out of it, don't even let your mates know that you guys are in this conversation until it is settled.
"A gay old time, no doubt."
No doubt!
I definitely agree with that.
Whichever choice is made, make it, stick by it, don't waffle on it and don't apologize for it.
While you are responsible for a certain amount of consideration of their feelings, they are responsible for a certain amount of consideration for yours.
I'd also say that speaking to other members of your family about how they plan to address the situation might be helpful.
No.
...and definitely not dancing with with "bride"
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.