Posted on 03/17/2007 1:44:41 PM PDT by rface
I now know what I am going to do – But I am curious as to what other FReepers might do when faced with this situation.
What will I do?? (I know what I am going to do.)
I have a cousin whom I love, and with whom I am close. I grew up with this guy. We are both in our middle 40s. We both have gone through our teen-age years with some trouble along the way – and we both now hold good jobs. We both have done pretty well – in spite of our earlier attempts at self-destruction…..and in spite of some heavy burdens that life has thrown our way.
I was married a few months ago (my 2nd…and my last) and I invited my cousin and his “significant other” to our wedding. They flew in from Boston and my wife and I were very happy to have them here to be at our wedding.
I am very close to my cousin. I also like, and get along with, his “significant other”. My Cousin and I don’t see eye-to-eye on some things, but he did vote for Bush in 2000. And we agree on a lot of taxation and financial conservative views. He’s pretty much conservative-ish….sort of…(not that his politics has anything to do with this issue) ….except that he’s gay and he sent me a wedding invitation for me and my wife to come to the wedding in Massachusetts.
My Cousin knows where I stand on the Gay Marriage issue…. And my wife shares my view. Our views are not secretly held. We both think a Marriage is between a man and woman – but we both also think “civil unions” may be an option that Gay couples should be able to utilize.
The Question: Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??
I wouldn't go.
But I would come up with a great excuse. I am gifted that way....
I've read many of the replies and I must say the the degree to which the destructive sort of 'compassionate broadmindedness' that it was always Edith Bunkers job to voice (after Arch's straw-man hate mongering) that has infected society is disgusting.
We have been here before, many times since the dawn of the '60's. For instance when some poor girl got pregnant the same arguments (family, hate the sin, don't start trouble etc...)would be trotted out and everyone would just bask in their sense tolorence and goodness.
Too damn bad for the tens of millions since then, born into a world of pain and suffering actually CAUSED by all that god-like "tolorence".
The solmenizing of sacred vows between a Man and a Woman is the whole point of the witnesses presence at a wedding. God would know if the principals made the vow in privacy. But it is the community that is the recipient of the vows specifically.
To go to witness an abomination, a mockery of God's law and Gos's gift and God's Good is to support it. One would be un-Christian if one hated a sinner, but to support this travesty with your witness is to mock God.
It's very simple: If you think Jesus would attend this thing then go.
Go. Be an example.
"I am very close to my cousin. I also like, and get along with, his “significant other”.
Go, he is family.
The Question: Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??
Of course.
Family comes first.
>Would you refuse to go to the wedding of a person who had
been an adulterer? A murderer? A thief? He does not condone those either.<
If the adulterer had repented and stopped his sin I would go. A murderer, thief? Not knowingly. But anyone who repents his sin and changes his way is forgiven by God. So who am I not to also forgive? Two people who knowingly sin are not forgiven. Man and man, woman and woman who lie together are sinners. Period.
I am not "pronouncing final judgement". The Bible has done that. I am stating what I would do.
No
Going means you support them in my opinion.
Yes.
You have to decide which is greater. Your love for your cousin or his sin. To me it would be a simple answer.
And that seems to be the shift that occurred in the 60's. We lost the idea that there is a set of societal standards necessary for the health of the community. Yes, we recognized that sometimes it can be to a given individual's detriment and seems unfair. Why ostracize a bastard child for the fault of the parents, for instance. Yet to not attach any price to aberrant behavior, especially in terms where the perpetrator might be willing to suffer the pain but loath to have that pain fall on their children, we have the disintegration of the institution of marriage and of society. Defining deviancy down has its toll.
Is that what you really want to be to your cousin. Trite as it might be, honesty is the best policy.
I'm a man, and I said you should go.
No. I would not go. I understand you love your cousin. But the Bible makes it clear that our love of God and his commands is to override all other loves. If you're not willing to stand for the principles you believe in...what ARE you willing to stand for? God set down guidelines for living in this world...they are not suggestions.
Having said all that, I sympathize with your situation. May God give you the wisdom to do what is right.
rface, I think I know pretty much what you face.
My younger brother announced he was gay last year. He and his significant other (an HIV-positive man who cannot find employment because of his health) moved to Massachussetts last fall. No marriage announcement yet but it doesn't mean I haven't considered the very real possibility that an invitation may someday be forthcoming.
Basically, I see this as a falling away from his Christian faith and one more sign that our nation's judgement may well be at hand. I still pray for him. I've made it clear that he's still loved and welcome in our family but we would not give his SO equivalence to the wives and husbands that have married into our family.
Accepting the invitation would be showing my approval of the direction he has chosen. This I cannot do.
You have your own decision and your own conscience but, if I were in your shoes (and I can certainly picture it someday), I would politely but unequivocably decline.
Where are they "registered"? If it were a child of mine, I don't think I could handle it. I'm not close at all to my cousins due to geography, so I can't answer that. Sit quietly, and think about how much your relationship with your cousin means to you. If you can't stomach watching this person marry a same sex partner, maybe you can make a plausible excuse. Buy a nice gift...
What would you have done 20 years ago? If you would have done something different, ask yourself why? Are you more enlightened now? Or are you more desensitized, or just more compromised in your principles?
I've counted approximately 42 saying no and 55 saying yes. The rest are vague or are responses to other posts. So, are you going to tell us what your decision is??
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