Posted on 02/20/2007 7:25:29 PM PST by dirtboy
Political observers are falling over themselves trying to determine the cladistics of a newly-emergent population of political animal, the Rudy booster. This appears to be the first new species of Republican to emerge in over two decades in the Family Republicanae (the last being Conservatisi reagani), and displays a particularly odd range of behaviors that call into question the long-term political viability of the new species, as well as that of Republicanae in general if they assume a position of dominance.
Some observers have proposed classifying the new population as a subspecies of Rinous rockefelleri, whereas others have made a fairly convincing case that the new species properly belongs within the Family Democratus and the genus/species of Scoopjacksonae liebermani - an endangered group of pro-war liberals with otherwise no conservative positions, hunted nearly to extinction by the more rabid Friedhippybrainous deaniaci. But for now, they will will treated as a separate species within Rinous.
In this field guide, we will discuss the observed talking points to date of the Rudy boosters as a means to understanding their behavior in the wild, whether those are calls of alarm, anger, deception or delusion, and what those mean for making a proper and clinical determination of whether this is just a subspecies displaying new liberal tendencies is truly an emergent new species, perhaps due to geographic isolation in the liberal Northeast.
For example, take the now-commonly-heard talking point that Rudy can beat Hillary. This talking point does display anger and deception tendencies at times (especially when the Rudy booster is getting hammered on other subjects), but should properly be placed into the delusion category, given that Giuliani never outpolled Hillary during the 2000 NY Senate race even though he was the sitting mayor and she was a carpetbagger with cankles that would send Godzilla screaming back into the ocean, never to return.
And this talking point shows the precarious nature of the Rudy booster's existence - namely, that they believe that their candidate can hold together the GOP despite the lessons of 1992. That Rudy can pull in key pro-life Catholic Dem swing voters despite getting awards from NARAL. And that a pro-war candidate can survive if he strikes out leftward in search of votes into regions that are increasingly antiwar.
Interested observers are encouraged to post their observations of talking points and opinions as to the proper cladistics for Rudy boosters. This field guide will initially be organized topically and also by electoral strategy, although that could change if the behavior of Rudy boosters continues to grow more irrational and erratic.
Next chapter - how to get Rudy boosters shrieking like howler monkeys - bring up the 2nd Amendment
Thanks Dirtboy, great read.
Well it is so nice that you can find humor in this dire......I mean....uh.......
R O T F L M A O !!
"cankles that would send Godzilla screaming back into the ocean, never to return."
*Snort* Now that's funny. Can't wait for chapter 2!
Hey! Where's MY ping?!?!?
;-)
Great post!
ping. Funny stuff by freeper dirtboy on Rudy.
Flushed one from the brush for observation. However, on closer observation it is apparently a Republicanus oftenfoolediam a species which swarms around the various varieties of Rinous.
BWAHHAAA! Followers of Mayor Linguine D--k be warned!
You're going to have to prove to me that you don't.
This is very funny. I'll have to read it later.
Thanks for giving me a little humor (grim humor, but nonetheless funny) before bedtime.
All the best,
Bill
I MISS Bloom County.
*Sigh....*
"Well, there's no such thing as the perfect candidate."
The above, particularly when used in reference to Rudy, kills me most of all, LOL!
Thank you for the ping.
Illegal immigrants getting public housing, food stamps, public health care and other goodies aren't going to vote for Republicans in those metrosexual metroplexes...
Why not just have Julie-Annie run as a Democrat???
Rudy is a proven leader...unlike Duncan Hunter, who is a proven legislator (BTW, does his name even show up in polls?)...and John McCain who is a proven anti free speech proponent (McCain - Feingold).
Rudy has a record of accomplishments.
(This morning's Fox and Friend republican poll: Rudy 33 percent, McCain 19 per cent, Gingrich 13 per cent, Romney 8 per cent).
And the first one flutters through an open window and perches upon the sill.
What the pro-rudyites keep saying is that Rudy would lose because those of us who vote our concience would not support him. That we should abandon our religious and conservative convictions and vote for Rudy.
How about this, How about the 'centrists' (read: liberal Republicans) bite the bullet and vote for a conservative candidate?
Or will they stay home instead of abandon their middle-of-the-roadism and elect a conservative Republican candidate.
Julie-Annie's embracing abortion-on-demand-wth-the govt-picking-up-the-tab symbolizes the free-wheeling lifestyle Giuliani has lived all of his life. He's now on his third, wife, and has said he would give his own daughter money for an abortion (handily ridding himself of his own grandchild).
Julie-Annie is anathema to social conservatives (who are the most important Repub voting bloc).
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