Carnal Knowledge (Man has sex with deer - outstanding lawyer comes up with excellent defense)

The Wall Street Journal ^ | November 17, 2006 | James Taranto

[Zakeet]

A Minnesota man is charged with having his way with a deer, but he claims it was just venison, the Superior Daily Telegram reports:

Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.

A motion filed last week by his attorney, public defender Fredric Anderson, argued that because the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed.

The Smoking Gun has Hathaway's mug shot and a copy of the complaint, which states:

Defining animal to include carcasses would lead to absurd results. At what point of decompose would the carcass cease being an animal? Would picked-over skeletal remains still meet the definition? At death, an animal ceases to be an animal. As Billy Crystal noted in The Princess Bride (1987), "There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead."

The Telegram quotes Judge Michael Lucci, who is considering the motion: "I’m a little surprised this issue hasn’t been tackled before in another case." Yeah, we're sure this sort of thing comes up all the time up there.

[woofie]

were they married ? if so its ok

[NRA2BFree]

You nailed it NRA! What a disgusting thing he did.

Yes, this one pretty well takes the cake. I've heard some pretty weird things in my time but this by far is the sickest.

[najida]

Ewwwwwww.....
That guy'll never date a living human female ever again.

[Radix]

I had sex with a Dear once, more than once....oh...deer....well then...never mind.

[cajungirl]

well, remember Portnoys complaint. But that was refrigereated Liver so I guess it qualifies as food.

My guess is the guy is schizophrenic or something.

[Ghengis]

When I was 16 years old, my mom found a Playboy under my mattress. His mom found The Boone and Crockett Club calendar.

[Charlespg]

thats one dear I like to skin

[RunningWolf]

Now that looks like my kind of deer. Let me just splash on some 'Whitetail Rut Scent' and Wolf will be on his way

[Lonely Bull]

Why was the deer dead in the first place? Did he hit it?

[hosepipe]

Ugh Ugh Ugh... How do you live this one down?...
Every time the boy walks into a room from here on...
Oh! Dear!.. will be heard..

[therut]

You did what with that thing before? Sorry not interested.

[Valin]

Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11

For the record Superior is in Wisconsin not Minnesota. It take a cheesehead to do something like this.

[who_would_fardels_bear]

[brytlea]

Kinda sad and gross that we even have to address this with a law! Ick!
susie

[humblegunner]

I just kill 'em and cut 'em, ain't no shaggin' involved ping.

[Eaker]

The sheep give you dirty looks during deer season.



Kinda like yer cheating on them...........

[Eaker]

Actually read the responses.

Gross topic but FReepers are damn funny!

[Eaker]

That is so sick that it fits on this thread nicely!

[ARealMothersSonForever]

Why, thanks (I think?). You shoulda been hog huntin' with some of the ole boys we hunted with. A dyin quiver joke aint nuthin.

[patton]

Good trade for Hillary.