Carnal Knowledge (Man has sex with deer - outstanding lawyer comes up with excellent defense)

The Wall Street Journal ^ | November 17, 2006 | James Taranto

[Zakeet]

A Minnesota man is charged with having his way with a deer, but he claims it was just venison, the Superior Daily Telegram reports:

Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.

A motion filed last week by his attorney, public defender Fredric Anderson, argued that because the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed.

The Smoking Gun has Hathaway's mug shot and a copy of the complaint, which states:

Defining animal to include carcasses would lead to absurd results. At what point of decompose would the carcass cease being an animal? Would picked-over skeletal remains still meet the definition? At death, an animal ceases to be an animal. As Billy Crystal noted in The Princess Bride (1987), "There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead."

The Telegram quotes Judge Michael Lucci, who is considering the motion: "I’m a little surprised this issue hasn’t been tackled before in another case." Yeah, we're sure this sort of thing comes up all the time up there.

[Doc Savage]

Sex with a NY Strip?

[Doc Savage]

I don't suppose there's even the remotest chance that this moron might have waded across the Rio Grande????

[bagman]

It was an ex-deer.

[paudio]

Ah, yeah. I see your point, and agree with it. That makes sense.

[L,TOWM]

Heck, any Australian Immam can tell you what's bound to happen when you leave the meat uncovered...

[proudofthesouth]

I can't even begin to imagine or understand how this enters a person's mind to do this.

He should be drenched in doe scent, locked in a pen with several buck's and rutted to death!

[Lizavetta]

With a goat, one could understand...

Really?.....got something you'd like to share with us?

[ApplegateRanch]

Bestial Necrophilia?

Now that is a new one...someone call PETA or Peter Singer.

Were the deer & the horse male or female? One of each?

The posibilites are 'gay beastial necrophile'; 'hetero beastial necrophile', or 'bi beastial necro-phile'.

In any case, don't let this lad near the slaughter house.

Wouldn't want him working at a funeral parlor, either, just in case his necrophilia isn't limited to the beastial variety.

[newzjunkey]

Gotta love the mind of a lawyer.

"Your honor, my client is not into bestiality. He is simply an innocent necrophiliac."

Well, such a lawyer's argument might have a point. He served time already for having killed a horse specifically to have sex with it.

[newzjunkey]

The coverage does not indicate a sex for the deer carcass.

[Doomonyou]

He served time already for having killed a horse specifically to have sex with it.

The deer was "a target of opportunity."

[newzjunkey]

A PETA press release about the horse incident says he was already on probation back then for having threatened a group of teenagers with a loaded rifle.

[toddlintown]

Maybe the deer just needed some tenderizing.

[drhogan]

the real question is, both from a legal and moral point of view: did he obtain a signed consent form from the horse before he killed it?

in the case of the deer, did he get a consent form from the deer's next of kin?

once these important questions have been answered, everything else should fall in place.

[Lucius Cornelius Sulla]

From the PETA letter to the judge:
'We ask that, upon conviction and in addition to a period of incarceration, Bryan Hathaway be required to undergo a thorough psychological evaluation followed by mandatory counseling at his own expense—the safety of the community may depend on it. Because repeat crimes among animal abusers are the rule rather than the exception, we implore you to take every measure necessary to ensure that Hathaway is prohibited from all contact with animals for five years, per §951.18.4(c) of Wisconsin Statutes, and that any animals currently in his custody are immediately seized.'

First and only time that PETA has said something sensible and foresighted.

[Safetgiver]

When I was a cop in 1978, I caught a guy redpeckered having sex with a pumpkin (Jack'o'lantern). The DA thought it was the funniest thing ever he'd seen charged. But the question came up "Did You see his P-----r?" " No , it was buried in the pumpkin." " You can't charge him for public indecency then." I questioned about other statutes and he told me there is no law against vegatistiality (?). and the guy was let loose. A week later we caught him for another sex crime and nailed his butt good.

[wideminded]

Hey everyone -- this guy was from WISCONSIN. Not Minnesota.

Yes. Wisconsin. Home of Ed Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer.

[mirkwood]

[sokit2mebb]

More like MY NOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! LOL! Can you believe that perv?

You nailed it NRA! What a disgusting thing he did.

[ErnBatavia]

"The other white meat" bump