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WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS
Email from various | Unk | Assorted

Posted on 08/06/2006 4:28:00 AM PDT by SLB

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... If you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"I cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is one." - Winston Churchill, in reply.


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: budgie; charlietheparrot; godsgravesglyphs; parrot; quotes; unitedkingdom; winstonchurchill
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To: SLB

Perhaps my all time favorite is this one that I heard one woman say of another whose daughter had just had an abortion:
"She's too stupid to be ashamed."
I have used that as my tag line in the past. Maybe it's time to go back to it. Sure, why not?


141 posted on 08/06/2006 9:29:50 AM PDT by Past Your Eyes (Some people are too stupid to be ashamed.)
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To: dfwgator

"Old age and guile will alway beat youth, good intentions and a bad haircut."... P.J. O'Rourke.

"Giving politicians money is like give teenage boys whiskey and the keys to your car."... P.J. O'Rourke.

"Her acting abilities run the gamut from A to B."... Dorothy Parker commenting on Judy Garland's role of Dorothy on 'The Wizard Of Oz'.

"I'd rather have a German Divison in front of me, than a French Division behind me"... Gen. George S. Patton.

Jack.


142 posted on 08/06/2006 9:31:04 AM PDT by Jack Deth (Knight Errant and Disemboweler of the WFTD Thread)
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To: Little Bill

I thought it was Disraeli and Gladstone


143 posted on 08/06/2006 9:32:40 AM PDT by republicanwizard
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To: Loud Mime

John Travolta was a beautiful man-child with the body of a dancer; which he still carries today - wrapped up in a messy, fleshy blanket.


144 posted on 08/06/2006 9:40:51 AM PDT by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, and writes again.)
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To: don-o
DIs have great insults. I've stolen a few and made a few:

For overweight people:

Boy, you could use your navel for a koozie.
Every time he farts, he applauds himself.
Why don't you get a tattoo that says "inflate to 40 psi" on your neck?
You could raise goldfish in that navel.

For people who show up with their clothes in dissarray

How many lives did you save when you threw yourself on that wrinkle bomb?
I want you to start getting up early enough to go home and change clothes before coming to class.

Random comments about supervisors:

The best thing he can do to bring order to the fire scene is leave.
His decisions aren't that bad until the lithium wears off.
If he was any stupider, we'd have to water him twice a week.

145 posted on 08/06/2006 9:41:10 AM PDT by Richard Kimball (The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, everything else is easy.)
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To: SLB
Winston is in the house of commons. A monotonous speaker for the government is droning on in some dry recital of figures from his department. Winston begins to nod, and a snoring sound is heard. The speaker puts up with it a little while, then confront Winston loudly. "Honorable minister, must you sleep while I am speaking?!"

Winston blinks ostenatiously, glowers around the room in a long sweeping stare, and still looking off into space exclaims "No. It is completely voluntary."

146 posted on 08/06/2006 9:47:12 AM PDT by JasonC
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To: Loud Mime

I challenge you to watch The Graduate followed by Rainman. One dimmensional defined.


147 posted on 08/06/2006 9:48:41 AM PDT by outofsalt ("If History teaches us anything it's that history rarely teaches us anything")
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To: SLB

"I never forget a face - but in your case, I'll make an exception." (Groucho Marx)


148 posted on 08/06/2006 9:49:24 AM PDT by GreenHornet
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To: SLB

Disraeli in the House:

"Half the cabinet are knaves and the other half are fools".

This was, of course, unparliamentary, so the Speaker instructed him to withdraw which he did.

"I withdraw without hesitation. Half the cabinet are not knaves and the other half are not fools."


149 posted on 08/06/2006 9:53:11 AM PDT by qlangley
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To: outofsalt

Dustin's suffered his entire life from an unprepossessing countenance that lends itself so easily to gloom and monotony as to one day serve nicely as a neglected table lamp in a darkened gallery.


150 posted on 08/06/2006 9:55:02 AM PDT by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, and writes again.)
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To: kabar
World Class!!!!
151 posted on 08/06/2006 9:55:46 AM PDT by don-o (Proudly posting without reading the thread since 1998. (stolen from one cool dude))
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To: Arrowhead
An arc in the movement of a large intellect does not differ sensibly from a straight line.

That would describe a mind thats visits any idea for the briefest of moment's and never revisit the same thought twice... the intellectual equivalent of a homeless wandering bum

152 posted on 08/06/2006 10:05:27 AM PDT by tophat9000 (If it was illegal French Canadians would La Raza back them? Racist back their race over country)
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To: outofsalt

Never been impressed by Hoffman. Worst actor in America. Not once have I believed him when he was on screen. Nothing entertaining or attractive about the man at all.


153 posted on 08/06/2006 10:05:54 AM PDT by MAWG
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To: kabar

Dang, that was sweet! PJ rox.


154 posted on 08/06/2006 10:26:45 AM PDT by ovrtaxt (We gotta watch out for the Hellbazoo and the Hamas...)
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To: Loud Mime
I once read a story about Sir Lawrence Olivier where a young method actor (someone we know but I can't think of the name now) was going out and getting drunk and acting up because he had a part in a play like that. Olivier told him: " dear boy, have you ever heard of ACTING?
155 posted on 08/06/2006 10:27:07 AM PDT by fish hawk (Terror : in a cave in Afghanistan. Treason: in a cave-in , in the Democratic Party)
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To: ovrtaxt

I get a chuckle out of it everytime I read it. PJ just seems to able to capture the American spirit.


156 posted on 08/06/2006 10:53:54 AM PDT by kabar
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To: don-o
" Can we say shit on FR? "

Only when describing the Clintons. Then it is not only appropriate but somehow inadequate at the same time.

157 posted on 08/06/2006 10:57:44 AM PDT by MAWG
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To: MAWG

LMAO.


158 posted on 08/06/2006 11:01:33 AM PDT by don-o (Proudly posting without reading the thread since 1998. (stolen from one cool dude))
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To: SLB

I don't often post in Sundays, but I am among friends at FR, so...

Shakespeare was famous for his insults at the time of his plays:

"Thou crusty botch of nature!
- Troilus and Cressida 5.1.5

"Frailty, thy name is woman"
- Hamlet 1.2.146

"Your face is not worth sunburning"
- Henry V 5.2.150

and finally:

"Doth thy other mouth call me?"
- The Tempest 2.2.98


159 posted on 08/06/2006 11:16:25 AM PDT by Fury
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To: jocon307; don-o
"Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the." - - - Mary McCarthy (about Lillian Hellman)"

"It depends on what the meaning of the words 'is' is." –Bill Clinton

160 posted on 08/06/2006 11:18:27 AM PDT by MrEdd (More cheep than a flock of baby chickens.)
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