Sorry, but my children bore me to death! (Feminism's highest honor, Grand Narcissism)

Daily Mail ^ | 26th July 2006 | HELEN KIRWAN-TAYLOLR

[carlo3b]

Sorry, but my children bore me to death!
by HELEN KIRWAN-TAYLOLR, Daily Mail 08:00am 26th July 2006

It's the start of the summer holidays, when millions of mothers despair at how to entertain their children for the next six weeks. What none of them dare say is that they would rather their children were still at school or, frankly, anywhere else. Helen Kirwan-Taylor, a 42-year-old writer, lives in Notting Hill, West London, with her businessman husband Charles and their sons Constantin, 12, and Ivan, ten. Here, she argues provocatively that modern women must not be enslaved by their children.

The lies started when my eldest son was less than ten months old.

Invitations to attend a child's birthday party or, worse, a singalong session were met with the same refrain: 'I would love to but I just can't spare the time.'

The nanny was dispatched in my place, and almost always returned complaining that my son had been singled out for pitiful stares by the other mothers.

(snip) Kids are supposed to be fulfilling, life-changing, life-enhancing fun: why was my attitude towards them so different?

While all my girlfriends were dropping important careers and occupying their afternoons with cake baking, I was begging the nanny to stay on, at least until she had read my two a bedtime story. What kind of mother hates reading bedtime stories? A bad mother, that's who, and a mother who is bored rigid by her children.

(snip) Am I a lazy, superficial person because I don't enjoy packing up their sports kit, or making their lunch, or sitting through coffee mornings with other mothers discussing how Mr Science (I can't remember most of the teachers' names) said such and such to Little Johnny and should we all complain to the headmaster.

[durasell]

On the bright side, she went out and got the "mommy hairstyle." Oh wait, she's British. Never mind.

[Bubba_Leroy]

I'm betting that when her kids grow up they will park her in a nursing home the first chance they get.

Will they ever visit her there? Not likely. It would be too boring.

[Gabz]

But I would never say my kids bore me and I would never say they were a mistake .. which is basically what this author is saying

I totally agree........and I only have 1.

And when it comes to having a talker.......well, there is no denying she is her mother's daughter. Asd my husband is fond of saying - we couldn't wait for her to start walking and talking, now we wish she would sit down and shut up. (totally meant in jest)

[EyeGuy]

"I will pray for your children that they can somehow teach you to love."

Best thought on this thread.

For those who cannot see the magnificence in children in and of themselves, and are looking for some "productive" or "self-improvement" reason for one of God's greatest gifts, there is no better explanation.

Wonderful.

[squarebarb]

The thing is, that we are no onger close to our extended families, --- grandma grandpa, aunties etc. --- who used to take the kids for a few hours. Going back maybe 200 years women had work to do in the house --- weaving spinning breadmaking etc. -- and needed older kids & g'parents to help out looking out for kids.

Plus the fact the streets are no longer safe, so kids have to be ferried everywhere in cars, find summer camps for them, HUGE amount of time in after-school activities -- Mom can't just let them run out of the door to play kick-the-can like we did when I was a kid.



parenting has changed from even 50 years ago.

That said, my husband and I took out two grandchildren ages 1 and 2 for four months as my stepston and DIL are both full-time military, and were being sent in different directions, and it was the best four months of my life.

[Warren_Piece]

I'll give her a break with that one. NO one loves or dotes on their children more than my wife and me, but we don't get portrait every six months like some families. I take plenty of pictures with my digital camera, but I don't respond well to hard sells - and if you go to a portrait place, they'll give you a hard sell to get the most expensive package.

I have drawerfulls of unused pictures that came as part of a huge package.

[Carolinamom]

Her children are already orphans, so why not let some loving family adopt them? Both she and the children would be better off, and the adoptive family would embrace them.

[Tired of Taxes]

Mine are 10 and under. When they're older, we'll probably do the same thing. :-)

[HungarianGypsy]

Pity you don't live in Arizona. I know an excellent photographer. Then again, our last family portrait was almost two years ago.

[ModelBreaker]

Now you've done it. :-) I REALLY agree about the birthday part. I think there's a fine line between teaching your kids self-reliance, and neglecting them. I'm pretty sure you've started what will be a first-class flame war!

LOL. We'll see if the obsessive parents find the post.

[linda_22003]

She wouldn't have to get a "portrait" done for the paper; you'd think they'd take a picture to go with her article. That said, I thought the kids looked small for 10 and 12, but was not absolutely sure. That's part of being a non-parent; all kids basically look alike. I see the flyers and the milk cartons showing kids with the caption "Have you seen me?" and I think, "How on earth would I know?"

[altura]

Me too. I wasn't exactly the children adoring type, but I adored my own children.

I remember looking forward to getting my son out of school and driving 30 miles to the nearest orthdontist just because we had a chance to visit for a long time.

Life without my children just wouldn't be nearly so interesting. It's a shame there are mothers like this one.

(and can her children read??) How would this make them feel?

[demkicker]

Makes me angry that men like this even have a sperm count, and angrier still that women like this were even born with a uterus. So-called parents like these only perpetuate the world into more disfunction.

[HungarianGypsy]

I see the flyers and the milk cartons showing kids with the caption "Have you seen me?" and I think, "How on earth would I know?"

I am a parent and sometimes think that. "Hey! That looks like.... No. That might have been a kid I saw on tv."

[Warren_Piece]

you'd think they'd take a picture to go with her article

The kids are going to pose for a smiling picture with mommy for an article about how she hates her children????

What a strange world...

[Jemian]

I grew up on those books. She enhanced my love of horses. It also gave me some knowledge that I draw on even today, some geography and meterology, information about thoroughbreds and other stuff like that.

[Gabz]

Do you both also turn around when any child calls out "Mommy"?

YUP!!!!! How anyone can think being a mom is boring is just beyond me. Its a lot of things, but boring isn't one of them.

Can't argue with you about that. Mine will help do any cleaning chores you can imagine - except she will NOT clean her room.....LOL!

At the semi-monthly meeting at the Moose Lodge last week, both the office manager and kitchen manager attempted to shame the male members for not helping with the cleaning in anticipation of the annual health inspection by telling them how "little Jax" cleaned the utility sink and scrubbed toilets.........I wanted to crawl under the table. I had brought her with me while i was there helping out and doing my monthly volunteer time. She wanted to help, so we let her do her thing.

[wbill]

I've heard the same from other parents, too, including other homeschoolers, who say couples need to spend time alone.

We leave wbill jr. with the Grandparents once a week for a few hours. It's 'our' time....even if it's only to do exciting things like getting groceries. And the grandparents loEveryone wins.

But....this selfish hag takes 'me me me' to a whole new level. I've heard the same sort of thing from a couple of my wife's friends and I always want to give them a whack and say "It's not about YOU anymore!". Like the one who didn't take childbirth classes because they "didn't fit into her schedule". Sad, really.

[MaryFromMichigan]

Six months with out pictures is one thing, but if those kids are any where near 10 and 12, I'd be very surprised!
What a sad article.
Sometimes I think I should skip things like this.
I haven't the heart for it.

[GB]

This woman is a selfish cretin ... but I'll tell you, reading this actually made me think a bit. I'm a father, not a mother, and I am not a child-centric person in any shape, form or fashion. Some people, including the Mrs., have wondered why in the world I ever agreed to have kids.

In one sense, I'm glad I did, because I love my two boys more than life itself. And I don't ignore my kids like this woman, but quite frankly, being a father does not come easily to me.

I do the things that this woman says she avoids, but they don't come easily to me. It is work, literally, that I sometimes don't get a lot of pleasure from, because sometimes it literally exhausts me, mentally and physically.

And I'm not talking about the parental things like dealing with illness, schoolwork, etc., that inherently exhaust you mentally and physically. I'm talking about the get down on a kid's level and play and interact with them things. Because I have a problem with getting down onto a child's level. I don't think it has anything to do with society today. It's just that if I could get my mom to post, she'd tell you that I never was really a kid, I was one of those who was a little old man at 10 years old (am pushing 50 now), never did kid things and pretty much always hung around with adults, and to this day I've really never gotten a handle on how to deal with kids, I have no frame of reference for it. And if this makes sense, I love my kids but sometimes I don't really LIKE kids, including my own.

But the thing is, again, unlike this woman I don't shirk my duty as a parent and I don't put my needs and wants above my kids' needs and wants and believe me, I make the effort to be a good father. Still, she made me think of my own struggle to be the prototypical "good parent." And thank God I've got the Mrs. who is nothing but a big kid ... talk about opposites attracting.