In one sense, I'm glad I did, because I love my two boys more than life itself. And I don't ignore my kids like this woman, but quite frankly, being a father does not come easily to me.
I do the things that this woman says she avoids, but they don't come easily to me. It is work, literally, that I sometimes don't get a lot of pleasure from, because sometimes it literally exhausts me, mentally and physically.
And I'm not talking about the parental things like dealing with illness, schoolwork, etc., that inherently exhaust you mentally and physically. I'm talking about the get down on a kid's level and play and interact with them things. Because I have a problem with getting down onto a child's level. I don't think it has anything to do with society today. It's just that if I could get my mom to post, she'd tell you that I never was really a kid, I was one of those who was a little old man at 10 years old (am pushing 50 now), never did kid things and pretty much always hung around with adults, and to this day I've really never gotten a handle on how to deal with kids, I have no frame of reference for it. And if this makes sense, I love my kids but sometimes I don't really LIKE kids, including my own.
But the thing is, again, unlike this woman I don't shirk my duty as a parent and I don't put my needs and wants above my kids' needs and wants and believe me, I make the effort to be a good father. Still, she made me think of my own struggle to be the prototypical "good parent." And thank God I've got the Mrs. who is nothing but a big kid ... talk about opposites attracting.
"I was one of those who was a little old man at 10 years old (am pushing 50 now), never did kid things and pretty much always hung around with adults, and to this day I've really never gotten a handle on how to deal with kids, I have no frame of reference for it."
I absolutely understand this, and it mirrors my own experience. If I'd had a spouse like your wife who was totally gung-ho on having kids, it might have been different (MIGHT), but my husband was not gung-ho on having kids, and when both people are not terribly interested, it tends not to happen.
It may be that this woman thought there was more "excitement" to being a mother and the whole experience has let her down. Otherwise, I can't imagine why she had kids. My dad was adamant that my mother stay home with me, when I arrived (this was normal in 1955), and by the time I went to kindergarten he said to her, "For God's sake, go back to work!" because she didn't have enough to keep her occupied. It went well after that. :)
I can totally relate to what you are saying. Our daughter just turned 8, and still I occassionally have those moments where I wonder why I ever became a mom. I absolutely adore my child, would do anything for her, and do love being mom, but it was something I had never considered when I was younger.
One of my closest friends is the mother of my daughter's best friend. I'm old enough to be her mother, in fact her mother is the same age as my husband.