Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
Sh, don't say that out loud. ;) I can't imagine raising my boys without a father, what an disservice to them, not to mention the stuff they wouldn't learn. Of course, dating men and introducing different men into their lives who will most likely leave after a bit is also a disservice. imo, though I'll probably get flamed by some women for that thought...and my asbestos suit is at the cleaners...
I have one word: Ha. Imagine being a father who stayed home for 13 years.
Yea, its not worht the hassle. i know this one babe, by far the one of the most beautiful women i know yet she has a kid and i tend to avoid those like the plague. (not kids women with kids mind you). I know its probably not poltically correct to say, but i'd rather have a woman whose kids come from me and only me.
You big ole' pimp you.
Maybe it's that simple. My sister-in-law told me of a lady she knew at work who just got married at Age 49 -- first time -- to a guy who's fifty-something -- first time for both. Apparently there are many stories about his difficulty getting the nerve together to ask for that first date! And they seem quite happy together. So there are exceptions to the rule.
I think part of what happens is that, as we mature, we not only lose our physical appeal but we also get more particular about mates -- more set in our ways. Twenty years ago, I'd date a girl who was a smoker. Not now. Twenty years ago, I'd take a chance on a woman who was uncomfortable in sports cars, unwilling to fly in small planes... I'd figure I could win her over. Not now. I am a crusty old curmudgeon, and appeal to nobody.
But I'm cool with that.
d.o.l.
Criminal Number 18F
I hear you. I'd love to be in a relationship again, but I've been a widow for 15 years (I was widowed in my 30s) and kinda set in my ways. I don't know who could stand a right wing, colored gal, rock and roll nut.
On the other hand, if you like rock (I'm downloading music from iTunes as we speak) and home cooking, maybe we could be housemates? : )
When you're in your twenties, you are willing to put up with a lot if it will get you laid. As the hormones cool off, it becomes less of an issue
Hi troll.
Bye troll.
Ha! If we weren't on opposite coasts...
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