Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo
Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.
That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.
Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.
Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.
Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.
You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.
We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.
Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.
You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.
I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.
I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.
She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.
I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.
Amen. Now pass the cornbread.
Case in point - Picabo Strait, outstanding down-hill olympic ski babe of a few years back. She was the child of hippie ski-bum types, and was named after a town south of Sun Valley, Picabo, Idaho. I think they tried to cutsie her name into peek-a-boo.
Cute.
Bookmark
When naming your child you should always consider the possibility, no matter how remote, that he or she may be nominated to the Supreme Court one day. That is the standard I recommend. This author makes some good points, but let's not forget, a lot of white parents are giving their children stupid names these days too.
"but those names are better than a few i've run across lately: vodka, tequilla, kahlua, and erotica are some. these are GIVEN names, not nicknames."
My sister's neighbor (black) has a kid named "Courvoisier". Maybe that's what Momma was drinking the night the kid was conceived, I surmise.
That reminds me... the Edsel.
There is a woman named Debra Clapp and is a doctor at a local clinic. She is a gynecologist and obstetrician.
This explains why Amherst College admitted Shainique Tishnuanna Ibrahim Tubman LaBlackua with a 530 SAT over National Honor Society Member John Hayden Smith, who had a 1520 SAT.
"It was the overall quality of her resume' and her devotion to diversity," stated Admissions Director Muhammed Combustable Arafat...
The alternative spellings are bad, but then, there are certain names that (IMHO) are just bad news no matter how they are spelled: Brandy or Brandi, Candy or Candi, Duane or Dewayne, etc. I think if you're white and you get one of those names, you're condemned to work at a - er, "gentlemen's club" at the truckstop or to get arrested for making meth in your singlewide.
Are you speaking from experience seriously, or do you like your name being spelled differently?
I have a common name, although from a slightly earlier generation and no one can spell it either...so who knows!
Back in 1971 I met very tall black student at SU and his name was pronounced Lemonjello...not sure how he spelled it though.It's foggy, but it may have been his last name.
Parents mustve been a Johnny Cash fan.
Quite British, Vivian. The feminine version is "Vivienne".
"Don't forget Mercedes."
Mercedes is a very common Latin name. Translates to "Mercies".
I think it's pretty.
It's pronounced "PORCH-mun-kee".
...and no, I'm not trying to be mean or provocative.
I think that I qualify as an "average white guy". My reaction to these gawdawful "African" names is to automatically assume that the person with that name was raised in public housing in the ghetto. That he or she went to a ghetto school and that they have less education than a lima bean. I don't see Condoleeza Rice when I see "Quieshianiquita"; I see an ignorant n****r. I see someone who's unemployable. I see someone who's going to pop out a dozen kids on welfare. I see every negative, racist stereotype you can imagine. And for all I know, Quieshianiquita could make Rice look like the village idiot. But, we'll never know because her mother cursed her with that ridiculous name.
I don't know if it's true or not, but I had a conversation with a guidance counselor years ago that claimed that one of her students had given a child this name.
I saw a black waitress in Thousand Oaks, CA, whose mother probably wanted to name her "Portia". But she named her "Porsche". I'm not making this up.
Just call me "Poopsie Gorillatush." Sadly, it fits, LOL!
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