Child guru says nurseries harm small children

The Sunday Times ^ | February 12, 2006 | Sian Griffiths

[tbird5]

The Sunday Times - Britain

The Sunday Times February 12, 2006

Child guru says nurseries harm small children Sian Griffiths ONE of the world’s most popular parenting gurus is to warn that placing children younger than three in nurseries risks damaging their development.

Steve Biddulph, whose books have sold more than 4m copies worldwide, says that instead of subsidising nurseries, which do a “second-rate” job, the government should put in place policies to enable mothers to stay at home with their babies.

The advice signals a reversal of views for Biddulph, an Australian with more than 20 years’ experience as a therapist, whose previous bestsellers include Raising Boys and Raising Girls.

In his new book Biddulph will admit he has changed his mind because of growing evidence of increased aggression, antisocial behaviour and other problems among children who have spent a large part of their infancy being cared for away from home.

He argues that such children may have problems developing close relationships later.

[Ninian Dryhope]

"Please, will you show us all how to make 100% perfect decisions in life that never backfire?"

I'll help you to make a decision that will not backfire. Get your baby out of daycare. ASAP!

[dinoparty]

But what IS your definition?

[RMDupree]

OK, we had dated for 5 years before getting married.

People do change when kids come into the picture.

He did. And not for the better. So I got us out.

Lucky for me, I know that are good men out there or the experience would have soured me for life. My girls and I are happier now than ever.

Despite my ~evil~ decision to utilize a day care so I can support them myself without groveling for pennies from their dad.

[Calpernia]

bttt

[dinoparty]

I'll get my child out of the babysitter's when you get your head out of your behind. I don't know exactly where you are coming from, but "squeel like a pig" comes to mind.

[protest1]

No, I think she should have been more careful and not got pregnant in the first place. Contraception is readily available.

[Calpernia]

bttt

[Calpernia]

>>>Nursery school is great, but only if its run by the Japanese.

Yeah? So was Unit 731.

[dinoparty]

Many on this thread, even those who disagree with us, are reasonable and good people, I'm sure. Others are simply busybodies who have something to prove about their own choices in life, and do so at the expense of others, because they feel threatened. They are not happy people. Pray for them, and just be glad you are not one of them.

[RMDupree]

The same could be said for the man in the picture. Why isn't he wrapping the willie?

That said, most gals won't sleep with a guy unless they love him and don't discover he isn't ~that~ serious about them until the test comes back positive. No contraception is 100%.

And sadly, some guys take to the hills and the woman is left with two choices A) abortion or B) single parenthood.

[RMDupree]

I'm very grateful that I'm a happy person in spite of what I've dealt with in life.

It just disturbs me to see their narrow views and lack of compassion for other FReepers who got dealt a bad hand.

[Fruitbat]

My wife and I have always called daycare centers "baby prisons"

They've accommodated the rise to wealth and status. Not that those things are bad in and of themselves, but when one sacrifices their family to do it, well, I can't agree more. It's just wrong. It's simply not a healthy environment for babies. They need parents around frequently at such ages for optimal development.

It's a decision that many people make, those that don't need to put their kids into daycare, yet do, so that both spouses can work, usually in the name of wealth and status in one form or another.

That's part of what's helped push home prices up as well, two-income families. It's definitely a changed nation. Ironically, as a result, it's gotten harder and harder for single-income families, with one normal or typical income that is, to live on just one income.

From the article: ...the government should put in place policies to enable mothers to stay at home with their babies.

Isn't that special. Yet one more entitlement program of some sort in the works possibly. Furthermore, if spending time with one's own children and raising them properly isn't "enablement" enough, then I don't know what the government is going to do.

As well, some people need to leave their kids in daycare. Single parents and others with particular circumstances. They don't have much choice often.

[pollyannaish]

LOL. You have good taste in women.

Oprah actually irritates me beyond belief. I admire the "empire" she has built from a business point of view, but her self-indulgence glorifying approach to life drives me nuts. Along with many of the whiny, kvetching spoiled brat women in her audience.

Vapid springs to mind.

Have a great evening. Enjoy your family. ; ).

[papertyger]

My wife would be MISERABLE staying at home with our son; she has said so herself...she would get stir crazy and lonely. Nothing harms a child more than a persistently and visibly unhappy parent.

No. Nothing harms a child more than a petulant and self-absorbed parent.

[Ramius]

Many over-the-top knee-jerk reactions are merely borne of insecurity and overcompensation. They assume life must always be controllable. The prospect that life may take a turn that doesn't fit their lifelong plan is simply terrifying. Its the hallmark of a control freak.

[Ramius]

I'll help you to make a decision that will not backfire. Get your baby out of daycare. ASAP!

Arrogance. It's unseemly.

[Ninian Dryhope]

Yes, I have been very happily married to a very beautiful woman for 25 years. I have wonderful daughter who is going to graduate from an excellent college in May. Perfect child, perfect wife. If I can select the perfect wife and raise the perfect child, by following my own theories, I do not see why everyone else cannot do it also.

[nmh]

"You are silly. Did your child see his shadow when he came out of hiding this year? Its getting a little cold in here."

No "dinoparty".

I think "dinoparty" are the "silly" one. You are as silly as your moniker ... why am I not surprised?

No, you can dump your little monster off at the "baby prison" all you like. Just don't bring the little brat around here. YOU deal with him. Seen enough of them ... you'll see what I mean ... now you're just in denial.

[Ninian Dryhope]

I would say that someone who cannot put food on the table, cannot put a roof over his families head, and cannot put clothes on their back, would qualify as someone who is a financial hardship case, while a person who is sulking because they cannot afford the latest model BMW is not a financial hardship case. Does that help?

[nmh]

"As long as you sign the limited license agreement? Just kidding. Go right ahead.

The similarities really are striking between the two: Prisons and daycare centers."

---

Thanks!

I see a direct correlation between prisons and "baby prisons". At neither facility do the wardens give a you know what, about what happens to their prisoners.

There is one major difference though - in adult prisons they do punish the adults for being naughty while in there ... in "baby prisons", day care, where wardens could care less, they don't dare punish them! They'd rather have them turn into little self absorbed monsters and the parents feel guilty about it so they shower them with gifts to make up for their lack of affection. Gifts replace TLC and time with them.

I pity these self absorbed dollar chasing parents. They will have little terrorists on their hands. Even still, they will remain in denial that THEY did anything wrong. Instead they'll lament about "he/she never wanted for anything ... " - the one thing money can't buy is love which includes raising them too!