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Brit Jew marries dolphin (British woman marries Israeli dolphin)
YnetNews ^ | December 29, 2005 | Joe Kot

Posted on 12/30/2005 6:19:30 AM PST by NYer

Till death do us part? An unusual wedding ceremony was held in the southern resort town of Eilat on Wednesday, as Sharon Tendler, a 41-years-old Jewish millionaire from London married her beloved Cindy, a 35-year-old dolphin, Israel's leading newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth reported Thursday.

 The groom, a resident of the Eilat dolphin reef, met Tendler 15 years ago, when she first visited the resort. The British rock concert producer took a liking to the dolphin and has made a habit of traveling to Eilat two or three times a year and spending time with her underwater sweetheart.

 "The peace and tranquility underwater, and his love, would calm me down," the excited bride said after the wedding.

 After a years-long romance, Tendler decided to embark on the highly unusual path of tying the knot with her beloved dolphin. Last week, she approached Cindy's trainer Maya Zilber with the extraordinary request.

 Zilber accepted the challenge and "talked the idea over with the fellow," who apparently consented.

 'I'm not a pervert'

 And so on Wednesday afternoon, the thrilled bride, wearing a white dress, walked down the dock before hundreds of astounded visitors and kneeled down before her groom, who was waiting in the water.

 Cindy, escorted by his fellow best-men dolphins, swam over to Tendler and she hugged him, whispered sweet nothings in his ear, and kissed him in front of the cheering crowd.

 After the ceremony was sealed with some mackerels, Tendler was tossed into the water by her friends so that she could swim with her new husband.

 "I'm the happiest girl on earth," the bride said as she choked back tears of emotion. "I made a dream come true, and I am not a pervert," she stressed.

 Tendler said she and her newly wed husband will probably spend their wedding night bowling.

 "But what kind of children would they have?" one of the children in the crowd asked his father.

 


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Israel; News/Current Events; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: bestiality; culturewar; doasthouwill; dolphin; homosexualagenda; ifitfeelsgooddohim; leftist; leftwing; liberal; marriage; marriagelaws; millionaire; sexpositiveagenda; stuckonstupid; zoophilia
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To: nmh

I would NOT be surprised if they DID consummate the marriage though....


101 posted on 12/30/2005 7:18:35 AM PST by Muzzle_em ("Get busy LIVING or get busy dying")
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To: NYer

Is the dolphin circumsized?


102 posted on 12/30/2005 7:19:44 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Cvengr
...not to mention the reading of the Talmud translated by the Rabbi

I think you mean the ketubbah.

103 posted on 12/30/2005 7:19:56 AM PST by Zionist Conspirator (HaShem is the reason for the Chanukkah season!)
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To: oxcart

If they have a boy they could name him David Schwimmer!


104 posted on 12/30/2005 7:20:04 AM PST by Nakota
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To: Moose4

"Brokeback Marina."



Now THAT is FUNNY!


105 posted on 12/30/2005 7:20:23 AM PST by Muzzle_em ("Get busy LIVING or get busy dying")
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To: NYer
There used to be a site called dolphinsex where some wacko put up a link about how to have sex with dolphins. I heard that some nutcases were actually arrested for doing just that.

Moonbats.

106 posted on 12/30/2005 7:20:36 AM PST by Bon mots
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To: joesnuffy

How do you say "You could have done better" in dolphin?


aak aaaak eeek eeeeeeeka!!!!


107 posted on 12/30/2005 7:22:46 AM PST by Muzzle_em ("Get busy LIVING or get busy dying")
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To: NYer

Shes too old for him.


108 posted on 12/30/2005 7:23:20 AM PST by NormB (Yes, but watch your cookies!!)
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To: Cvengr

HA!!!


109 posted on 12/30/2005 7:24:07 AM PST by Muzzle_em ("Get busy LIVING or get busy dying")
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To: Gumlegs
But was the dolphin Jewish? I worry about these things.

I understand that if the mother is Jewish, their offspring will be Jewish. They might be better swimmers than Mark Spitz.

110 posted on 12/30/2005 7:25:23 AM PST by PatrickHenry (Virtual Ignore for trolls, lunatics, dotards, common scolds, & incurable ignoramuses.)
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To: Muzzle_em

BUMP!


111 posted on 12/30/2005 7:25:35 AM PST by Publius6961 (The IQ of California voters is about 420........... .............cumulatively)
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To: billorites
I'm sure the Honeymoon will be all that she dreamed it would be


Now it all makes sense...damn!
112 posted on 12/30/2005 7:28:02 AM PST by dagoofyfoot
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To: NYer
This story is more bizarre

Some nutjob is an expert at bestiality and goes bonkers when his wife has an affair with a dolphin and he sees the film of them having sex. He kills her and is stopped on his way to the dolphin tank with a harpoon...

Leftist moonbats. Stranger than fiction.

Here is an excerpt:

An expert on deviant animal behavior was arrested Sunday on first-degree murder charges in this seaside community of rock stars, movie celebrities and corporate executives.

Dr. Patrick Finley, 68, who taught and lectured throughout the world and was a frequent contributor to National Geographic, is being held without bail in connection with the murder of his 26-year-old wife, Donna Merwoman.

Ms. Merwoman was beaten to death in the famed Malibu Colony, home to Hollywood’s rich and famous.

Dr. Finley, who holds doctorates in biology and sociology, is a consultant to NBC’s new series Humans and Beasts. The show, originally titled The Beast in Some of Us, deals with the interaction of humans and animals in what the network bills as extreme bonding situations.

NBC was attempting to top Fox's successful extreme bonding series,  Temptation Island.

...more...


113 posted on 12/30/2005 7:31:30 AM PST by Bon mots
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To: rlmorel; RightOnline; MeanWestTexan

you ADMIT you have a LIST then!

Well, I mean, I don't want to sound like a weirdo or nothin', but yeah.  You know, just so I could say I did?  Hillary Clinton is on that list.

Owl_Eagle

(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,

 it was probably sarcasm)

114 posted on 12/30/2005 7:32:52 AM PST by End Times Sentinel (In Memory of my Dear Friend Henry Lee II)
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To: NYer

I could never marry a dolphin. If she can't bend over, I don't want her.


115 posted on 12/30/2005 7:35:50 AM PST by devane617 (An Alley-Cat mind is a terrible thing to waste)
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To: Owl_Eagle

hrmn...
given a choice between Hillary and a cow dolphin...
hrmn.....
hrmn.......

no easy out for this choice set, is there?


116 posted on 12/30/2005 7:36:36 AM PST by King Prout (many accuse me of being overly literal... this would not be a problem if many were not under-precise)
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To: Owl_Eagle
Less desirable than the dolphin, one would expect.
117 posted on 12/30/2005 7:36:53 AM PST by Gumlegs
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To: NYer

Did she check to see if Cindy had a bris?


118 posted on 12/30/2005 7:40:35 AM PST by metesky ("Brethren, leave us go amongst them." Rev. Capt. Samuel Johnston Clayton - Ward Bond- The Searchers)
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To: Owl_Eagle

You always were partial to primates and sheep.


119 posted on 12/30/2005 7:41:59 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: PJ-Comix
And did the moyl perform the traditional, after-surgery ...

I can't post it.

120 posted on 12/30/2005 7:44:06 AM PST by Gumlegs
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