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Adultery Is Killing the American Family
Illinois Leader ^ | 9/22/05 | Nathan Tabor

Posted on 09/22/2005 5:48:16 PM PDT by wagglebee

We hear a lot of talk these days about the need to protect and strengthen the traditional American family. Certainly, it is true that the institution of marriage is under attack from every side. But the real threat comes from the multitudes of couples that fail to honor their marriage vows.

Adultery is one of the most terrible "facts of life" in contemporary America. If you watch the daily soap operas on TV ­ many of which are just soft-core pornography ­ you might get the impression that there are more people cheating on their spouses than remaining faithful. And you might be right.

How many people have affairs? That's hard to say because not everybody will answer honestly. But sex therapist Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth conservatively estimates that about 60 percent of married men and 40 percent of married women will have an affair at some time during their marriage. Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners basically agrees.

Since these books were written more than a decade ago, and since more women are leaving the home and entering the workforce, the number of wives having affairs may also have reached the 60 percent range.

Americans have a schizophrenic attitude toward adultery.

While 90 percent admit that adultery is morally wrong, according to a Time-CNN poll, 50 percent say that President Bill Clinton's morals are "about the same as the average married man." While 35 percent think that adultery should be a crime, 61 percent think it shouldn't.

Having an affair simply doesn't carry the social stigma that it once did.

According to Playboy magazine, 2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men have sexual thoughts about their coworkers, and about the same number follow through on those libidinous impulses.

Why do husbands and wives cheat on their spouses? Psychologists cite subjective issues like loss of love and feelings of alienation. Certainly the media pressure of our sex-saturated society is a significant influence.

But a major factor is the easy availability of cheap and plentiful Internet pornography.

Statistics show that 25 percent of all Internet search engine requests are related to pornography.

According to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, "approximately 40 million people in the United States are sexually involved with the Internet." And while 76 percent of women feel that phone sex or cyber-sex is the equivalent of committing adultery, only 41 percent of men do.

Dr. Alvin Cooper and MSNBC.com conducted an online poll of 38,000 people, and 10 percent admitted that they were addicted to Internet pornography.

What's more, a lot of those Internet sex addicts eventually progress from cyber-sex to real-time sexual affairs.

Some legal professionals estimate that as many as one-third of all divorces may have their roots in Internet porn or online affairs. "If there's dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch," explains J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

The pain and suffering caused by adultery is immense, especially for children. They are more likely never to marry, or to later divorce, if they had divorced or cheating parents. After a divorce, many children are unable ever to develop strong, trusting relationships.

There is a direct correlation between the steady decline of morals and values in America and this more accepting contemporary attitude toward adultery. Part of the reason is because most people have forgotten what a marriage really is.

Marriage is more than just a legal status recognized by the state, or even a temporary social contract between two people.

True marriage is a solemn covenant relationship between a man, a woman and God. It is a hallowed institution that should be revered, cherished, and preserved.

The act of adultery is childish and selfish, and it hurts everyone involved.

It violates at least two of the Ten Commandments: the clear prohibitions against committing adultery and coveting your neighbor's spouse.

If we care about the future of our great nation, we as a people must relearn the virtue and necessity of staying committed to the spouses to whom we are married.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: 1firstkeyword; adultery; clintonlegacy; divorce; dontdoit; familyvalues; feminazis; feminism; godhelpus; ithurtstoomuch; itisasinbeforegod; keepherhappy; keephimhappy; manhaters; moralabsolutes; mygoatcheatedonme; myhusbandcheatedonme; mywifecheatedonme; sexualfreedom; sin; theycausesomuchpain; weakbatteries; womenatwork
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To: newgeezer

LOL, Stretch. Nice.


361 posted on 09/23/2005 9:33:33 AM PDT by Petronski (I love Cyborg!)
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To: newgeezer; Petronski
I had no idea a tongue in cheek statement would garner so much response. I only wish There would be a system where divorce (ie no-fault) is not easy on the betrayer.

Sincerely,
Atilla the Hun aka Abdul

362 posted on 09/23/2005 9:36:53 AM PDT by vetvetdoug (Shiloh, Corinth, Iuka, Brices Crossroads, Harrisburg, Britton Lane, Holly Springs, Hatchie Bridge,)
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To: vetvetdoug

Don't call yourself Abdul! Biblewonk will email a screed to his buddy to post for him that will try to paint you as racist as he is.



On second thought, that would be fun.


363 posted on 09/23/2005 9:39:03 AM PDT by Petronski (I love Cyborg!)
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To: Petronski

You wish.

I just call 'em as I see 'em, Hypocrite.


364 posted on 09/23/2005 9:44:34 AM PDT by newgeezer
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To: wagglebee
You may find this article interesting and related to this problem.

Poverty: All in the Family
http://www.humaneventsonline.com/article.php?id=9219
by Terence P. Jeffrey
Posted Sep 21, 2005

Excerpt:
According to Census Bureau data, the relative levels of poverty in America are best predicted not by race, but by family makeup.
365 posted on 09/23/2005 9:46:50 AM PDT by TheForceOfOne (The alternative media is our Enigma machine.)
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To: newgeezer
Aw, now you're signing your e-mails 'hypocrite.' How honest of you.
366 posted on 09/23/2005 9:55:31 AM PDT by Petronski (I love Cyborg!)
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To: Trust but Verify

Unfortunately, my former wife did not feel way, and traded my two sons and I in on an older, wealthier model. Apparently they had an affair for quite some time before they decided to destroy two families and four children.


367 posted on 09/23/2005 10:03:29 AM PDT by stumpy
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To: stumpy

That is just terrible. I will never, ever understand a woman giving up her children for a man. Never. I hope you and the boys are managing on your own. Sounds like you're a good dad and someone those boys can count on not to abandon them.


368 posted on 09/23/2005 10:19:30 AM PDT by Trust but Verify (( ))
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To: Larry Lucido; little jeremiah; wagglebee
I recognize that it is an irreconcilable difference of interpretation between Roman Catholics (which I was) and many Protestants. It doesn't lessen my respect and admiration for my Catholic friends who so believe, though I don't share the belief. If anything, I take issue with the fallacy (IMO) of the workaround of annullment. Annullments are given to those married for years, even with children, as though the marriage never happened. And I'm not just talking Kennedys here. I find that a bigger affront to the Creator than remarrying after being dumped by a spouse. But again, a difference of opinion.

Funny you should mention anullments. I married my ex 27 yrs ago. We divorced in 2001. Because of the kids, I kept my married name, and didn't file for anullment. Guess what? Pyscho dude hauled me back in court. I'm not going into it in public, but I'm changing my name back to my maiden name, and my cousins are looking into obtaining an anullment for me. If I had been able to escape soon enough, I would have qualified for a civil anullment as well.

The pain of a spouse's unfaithfulness is indescribable. I still remember overhearing a conversation between my ex, his brother, and a friend, detailing liasons with the company tramps. I was 7 months pregnant at the time. It was like a hot knife went through my heart. When the kids are old enough to realize what's going on, they resent and feel disgust for the cheating parent. All in all, a horrible situation.

369 posted on 09/23/2005 12:35:22 PM PDT by TheSpottedOwl ("President Bush, start building that wall"!)
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To: wagglebee
According to Playboy magazine, 2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men have sexual thoughts about their coworkers, and about the same number follow through on those libidinous impulses.

At last we're finally taking advantage of peer-reviewed, highly respected, scientific journals. /sarcasm

370 posted on 09/23/2005 12:39:00 PM PDT by <1/1,000,000th%
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To: John Robertson
It's all a complicated, confusing stew of morals and choices (and amoral choices!) coming out of the moral relativistic, feel-good, do what's best for me attitudes the left has--successfully--been foisting on us for two generations. Now you have millions of people who reflexively say, No one can tell a woman what to do with her own body!

I never really believed in the "it's my own body arguement" to abortion either but I could never put it into words until recently. The body is like a temple and the true owner of them is God. We are supposed to take care of them as best as we can, now I'll admit that I can always do a better job, I mean I practically live on caffeine, provides fuel for my job at work, but I don't drink, smoke, etc. Of course, being male, I cant experience an abortion, not that I want to, but abortion is really a very huge offense against the body. Of course in the case of the baby, the baby is killed but it is also stressful on the woman's body, there could be complications and/or if you get too many, you will not be able to have children. Our bodies, the way I see it, are like rental cars, we will have to turn them in as our souls depart them as we go meet God.
371 posted on 09/23/2005 2:19:54 PM PDT by Nowhere Man (Lutheran, Conservative, Neo-Victorian/Edwardian, Michael Savage in '08! - Any Questions?)
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To: wagglebee
The pain and suffering caused by adultery is immense, especially for children. They are more likely never to marry, or to later divorce, if they had divorced or cheating parents.

This is a bizarre paragraph.
It implies that there is no difference whatsoever between an honest faithful divorced person and a faithless one.
As if the morality involved is meaningless. That is a mind-boggling assertion.

372 posted on 09/23/2005 2:31:21 PM PDT by Publius6961 (Liberal level playing field: If the Islamics win we are their slaves..if we win they are our equals.)
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To: Alkhin
As an adopted child who was born out of wedlock - I THANK YOU!! Pisses me off when people bitch about unwed mothers and call the children bastards, and then wonders why the world is so rife with abortions.

Yeah, if I may chime in, the children who are born out of wedlock are truly victims and just come to the world through no fault of their own. Many times in history, the children born out of wedlock were treated harshly and that was wrong. I think there is a time to reach out to unwed mothers and their children with help and the idea of redemption and getting them on the right path. Yes, there are times you need to send a message where that is wrong but to keep it up and demonize them will just drive them away from getting on the right path.

If you want a good but sad book about all of this, try David Graham Phillips' "Susan Lenox, Her Rise and Fall" where the central character was a "love child" where her mother died during childbirth and it was up to her aunt (she is the mother's sister) her uncle and her cousin Ruth. Well, to make a long story very short, her aunt and uncle seem to think she is "going the way of her mother" so they marry her off to some cad of a sharecropper farmer, she runs off and the adventure begins to where she has a hard life. She eventually becomes a somewhat famous actress, but it seems her life is empty and deviod of love to the point to where her gains in money and fame seem like a "pyrric victory. In the beginning of the book, a lot of young men in her school and town would have loved to get to know her but would have nothing to do with her, never take her dancing, courting her, because she was a "love child" even though she was of good character. Shame really, the book kind of hit me hard, I guess being a bit of a geek growing up and bullied because I was more into space and electronics than sports and stuff, I had a lot of empathy with the character because of my own negative experiences. If I was a young student in the scenario, I would have been happy to get to know her, take her to dances and if things clicked down the road, marry her. There was one young man who did try to court her but he was just looking for an "easy target" and the town buzzing about them and so on was one of the catalysts that kicked it off.
373 posted on 09/23/2005 6:35:03 PM PDT by Nowhere Man (Lutheran, Conservative, Neo-Victorian/Edwardian, Michael Savage in '08! - Any Questions?)
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To: Asfarastheeastisfromthewest...

Honestly, I took my marriage vow before God seriously.


374 posted on 09/23/2005 8:39:41 PM PDT by marajade (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
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To: ConservativeMind

I just disagree with your interpretation of that scripture.


375 posted on 09/23/2005 8:44:52 PM PDT by marajade (Yes, I'm a SW freak!)
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To: marajade
Honestly, I took my marriage vow before God seriously.

That's great and that really is one of the first steps to having a successful and affair proof marriage (there are also other important steps that come long before one gets near the alter). However, one's life has to be kept going with that relationship to God. Note that in the verse below in Matthew, it does not say that you will be kept from temptation because you love your husband. It says that you need to 'watch and pray that ye enter not into temptation'. This essentially says that there is no person alive who on their own can handle temptation (if not affairs, then something else) - the devil is just too powerful. If there is any doubt about that, check out how 1 Peter characterizes the devil and his objectives. However, by praying for help and guidance, one obtains the strength of God and that far exceeds the strength of the devil. And contrary to what you said the other night, you can trust God even when you can't trust yourself. This has to be the case because otherwise one believes that they can manage on their own just fine - this is the original sin of pride and it heads for a fall.

Matthew 26:41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

376 posted on 09/23/2005 9:19:50 PM PDT by Asfarastheeastisfromthewest...
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To: marajade

Your vow is not in Scripture. There is no place in the Bible that says "Until death do us part".

That is your personal covenant. Christ says marrying a divorced person is adultery.

You are bound by your vow to God regardless.


377 posted on 09/24/2005 9:15:56 AM PDT by ConservativeMind
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To: wagglebee

bttt


378 posted on 09/24/2005 12:10:25 PM PDT by aberaussie
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To: ConservativeMind
Your vow is not in Scripture. There is no place in the Bible that says "Until death do us part".

I think that you are splitting hairs here with marajade. You are correct that the wording of the typical marriage vow 'til death do us part' is not mentioned in scripture. However, there are several places where divorce is mentioned in scripture and the conditions under which it could be applied. It is certainly made clear that it is only for the case of adultery and even there, it is not automatic as the couple still should work things out under a spirit of forgiveness. One is left with the distinct impression that while there is a tiny 'out', it would be incredibly rare if scriptural instructions were followed. So, if divorce is something that should never happen, that automatically implies that when people get married, they are doing so for life. If the understanding is that they are getting married for life, then a vow that states 'til death do us part' is simply vowing to do what the Bible is commanding us to do isn't it?

379 posted on 09/24/2005 6:50:46 PM PDT by Asfarastheeastisfromthewest...
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To: Salvation
But a major factor is the easy availability of cheap and plentiful Internet pornography.

This is nothing more than baseless speculation on the part of the author, unless he/she has statistical evidence that shows a marked increase in adultery after the Internet became readily available to most Americans.

380 posted on 09/26/2005 4:17:20 PM PDT by Alberta's Child (I ain't got a dime, but what I got is mine. I ain't rich, but Lord I'm free.)
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