Posted on 09/22/2005 5:48:16 PM PDT by wagglebee
We hear a lot of talk these days about the need to protect and strengthen the traditional American family. Certainly, it is true that the institution of marriage is under attack from every side. But the real threat comes from the multitudes of couples that fail to honor their marriage vows.
Adultery is one of the most terrible "facts of life" in contemporary America. If you watch the daily soap operas on TV many of which are just soft-core pornography you might get the impression that there are more people cheating on their spouses than remaining faithful. And you might be right.
How many people have affairs? That's hard to say because not everybody will answer honestly. But sex therapist Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth conservatively estimates that about 60 percent of married men and 40 percent of married women will have an affair at some time during their marriage. Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners basically agrees.
Since these books were written more than a decade ago, and since more women are leaving the home and entering the workforce, the number of wives having affairs may also have reached the 60 percent range.
Americans have a schizophrenic attitude toward adultery.
While 90 percent admit that adultery is morally wrong, according to a Time-CNN poll, 50 percent say that President Bill Clinton's morals are "about the same as the average married man." While 35 percent think that adultery should be a crime, 61 percent think it shouldn't.
Having an affair simply doesn't carry the social stigma that it once did.
According to Playboy magazine, 2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men have sexual thoughts about their coworkers, and about the same number follow through on those libidinous impulses.
Why do husbands and wives cheat on their spouses? Psychologists cite subjective issues like loss of love and feelings of alienation. Certainly the media pressure of our sex-saturated society is a significant influence.
But a major factor is the easy availability of cheap and plentiful Internet pornography.
Statistics show that 25 percent of all Internet search engine requests are related to pornography.
According to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, "approximately 40 million people in the United States are sexually involved with the Internet." And while 76 percent of women feel that phone sex or cyber-sex is the equivalent of committing adultery, only 41 percent of men do.
Dr. Alvin Cooper and MSNBC.com conducted an online poll of 38,000 people, and 10 percent admitted that they were addicted to Internet pornography.
What's more, a lot of those Internet sex addicts eventually progress from cyber-sex to real-time sexual affairs.
Some legal professionals estimate that as many as one-third of all divorces may have their roots in Internet porn or online affairs. "If there's dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch," explains J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
The pain and suffering caused by adultery is immense, especially for children. They are more likely never to marry, or to later divorce, if they had divorced or cheating parents. After a divorce, many children are unable ever to develop strong, trusting relationships.
There is a direct correlation between the steady decline of morals and values in America and this more accepting contemporary attitude toward adultery. Part of the reason is because most people have forgotten what a marriage really is.
Marriage is more than just a legal status recognized by the state, or even a temporary social contract between two people.
True marriage is a solemn covenant relationship between a man, a woman and God. It is a hallowed institution that should be revered, cherished, and preserved.
The act of adultery is childish and selfish, and it hurts everyone involved.
It violates at least two of the Ten Commandments: the clear prohibitions against committing adultery and coveting your neighbor's spouse.
If we care about the future of our great nation, we as a people must relearn the virtue and necessity of staying committed to the spouses to whom we are married.
I gotta tell you -- I hope to be ninety and still appreciate a pretty girl. It is one of the great pleasures in life to sit around a table with a bunch of people, one of whom is a smart, witty pretty girl dressed to the nines, and have a good meal, tell some off color jokes, gossip, and debate the state of the world.
I know. It's just not 'home' anymore!
Impossible standards and some people buy into them...I think it has to do with not being comfortable in their own skin.
St Augustine is a hero to lowlifes like me. He shows us that it's possible (and indeed, desireable) to strive to be better than what we are. He is aok in my book!
It's a good start but sorry -- it would be naive of you to think that there isn't zillions of people all over the planet that have somehow ended up in adultery who said exactly the same thing. What's different? Or what does your marriage have that their's didn't have that will allow you to succeed where their's didn't?
"I think it has to do with not being comfortable in their own skin."
How can you trust God if you can't trust yourself?
We aren't talking about zillions of other people... we are talking about me.
You are so depressing.
How do you get through your day? It sounds like an impossible struggle.
The older I get, the less I understand people. But I suppose I should cross Asfarastheeastisfromthewest off my list for the FR strip club tour of NYC I was planning.
While I am what Granny on Beverly Hillbillies would call a 'Birdwatcher,' when you connect with someone romantically and emotionally and love them, it's not abnormal to not be notably lustful for others.
A Big Mac can sometimes look real good, but when you have filet mignon at home, it's no big deal! That's what my galpal tells me to keep telling myself, anyway! ;-)
No doubt earlier ages had plenty of hypocrites in this regard, but someone said well that "hypocrisy is the tribute that vice pays to virtue." Now we don't even pretend to be embarrassed at these practices.
LOL. I'm okay at strip clubs, as long as they don't serve alcohol.
No, that's not what will put him hell. Leading a perfect life isn't the criterion that would keep him out - 'believing in him' is what does it. John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Been cuckolded, eh Abdul?
Please cut back on the stupid pills.
I'm easy to understand! Flashdancers? Scores? A shame they shut down 'Billy's Topless.' :-)
aaagh, what's the use. they don't even have good strip clubs anymore...
They're all pits now. I drink every once in awhile with some of the dancers after hours at a non-strip club and the stories raise the hair on the back of my neck. Also, remember that kid got killed at Scores.
You dodged the question. What makes you think that you are different so that you can avoid it?
Now you don't really believe that, do you?
People avoid adultery the same way they avoid all dangerous activity, by understanding the consequences.
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