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My Son and War
Painfully typed in from the American Legion Magazine, Vol, 156, No. 1, pp. 30-31 | January 2004 | Frank Schaeffer

Posted on 03/06/2004 9:06:29 AM PST by sauropod

I read this article in the laundromat yesterday. I found it to be a powerful indictment on "Military Families Speak Out." It is not online at the American Legion Magazine Web site, so i typed it in. 'Pod

My Son and War: A once-skeptical father shares his perspective on military parenthood.

By Frank Schaeffer

I write novels for a living and never served in the military. My two older children did the expected: Georgetown and New York University. Our kind - higher-education-worshipping denizens of the North Shore, north of Boston - rarely enlist these days. In 1999, my youngest son, John, was the only senior graduating from his exclusive private high school to join the military. As I write, he is in the Middle East on his second deployment as a U.S. Marine.

After reading an opinion piece I wrote for The Washington Post - about the wrenching adjustment I made from ambivalence toward our military to proud support for my Marine - Gen. James L. Jones (then commandant of the Marine Corps, now chief of NATO), wrote to me, "There has been a 'disconnect' between the men and women who defend our nation and those who are the beneficiaries of that service." The "disconnect" to which Jones refers is illustrated by the contrast between most parents of military personnel and Americans who will not even allow their children's high schools to give their names and addresses to recruiters.

Under the No Child Left Behind Act, schools are required to give the names of graduating students to recruiters. Some parents find it unbearable that their children might be asked to even consider serving. In a New York Times article, Donna Lieberman, executive director of the New York Civil Liberties Union, says, "Students have a right to not be bothered by agressive military recruiters." School-board members in the San Francisco area said they were working to thwart the "dangerous" law.

Apparently some parents, failing to thwart the recruiter and their child's choice to serve, never reconcile themselves with their feelings about military service. An antiwar organization called "Military Families Speak Out" was formed in 2002 by parents and relatives of servicemembers. Speak Out claims to represent military parents against our liberation of Iraq. The Group's Web site is linked ot a grab bag of anti-globalization and pacifist groups. Speak Out exploits an emotional antiwar tactic: it prints letters on its Web site from frightened parents and children of soldiers pleading with the president to let their mommies, daddies, sons or daughters come home.

What are the factors contributing to the existence of groups like Speak Out? Fear is an obvious reason. But a number of other underlying factors exist. Class is one; the rise of anti-military and anti-traditional-male, politically correct ideology is another.

At one time, our military was drawn from a true cross section of society. Even the Ivy League contributed its fair share - until my generation came along. We were the "60s generation." Some of us served. Many, including me, did not. Vietnam was our excuse. I say excuse because since that war ended, the upper classes - especially the most educated - never regained any sense of moral obligation to serve, let alone the desire to see their children volunteer.

Harvard's memorial wall tells the story. It has many names form World War I and World War II on it, a few from Korea, a handful from Vietnam and none since. Now it's rare to find members of Congress who voluntarily served, much less their children.

The absence of the educated and wealthy elite from our military exacerbates the sense that something un-American and unfair is going on when "my kid" gets sent to war and "rich kids" do not. A country where fairly shared sacrifice is the norm might be less apt to breed groups like Speak Out.

What of the second factor, the rise of anti-military and anti-traditional-male ideology? Before my generation took its turn at the raising and education of children, oversolicitous, hand-wringing "soccer moms" wailing "Be careful!" were nowhere in sight. Winston Churchill and Gen. George Patton were heroes, and no one use the word "sensitivity" except when describing a rash to their doctor.

Patton would not recognize most of today's pool of potential male recruits. I say "male recruits" because while females serve and serve well, it is the role of boys in our culture that best represents our elite's change in attitude about service and, more fundamentally, about the traditional warror role of young men. I believe this shift has something to do with the climate that produces a type of military parent who wants the military to do anything but fight wars.

What kind of boy would be drafted into Patton's army today? Today's 17-year-old potential recruit - let's call him Gabriel (fictitious name) - is an obese, Ritalin-oppressed young man, soft as a Twinkie. The post-'60s, anti-traditional-male and anti-military views of our educated elite have played a role in shaping Gabriel. He only knows about what were once called "boyhood" or "manly" experiences via grotesque video games and other electronic adentures he vicariously undertakes from a snack-littered couch. If he ever got punched at school, the other kid was suspended for violence. If his teacher spanked him, she was fired or maybe jailed. If Gabriel ever read "Huckleberry Finn," he related to the robust protagonist the way a chubby goldfish trapped in a small glass bowl might gape incredulously at a 600-pound Blue Fin slicing his way through the open ocean.

Unlike teachers of the World War II era, too many of Gabriel's instructors see no virtue in martial skills, let alone military service. His teacher is most likely a politically correct, speech-code-sensitivity-enforcing do-gooder trained to make sure Gabriel does his best to behave like the girls in his class. Gabriel's teacher has commanded Gabriel to have "high self-esteem," for what reason or for what acoomplishment he's never been told. "Force never solves anything," he or she has told Gabriel. If Gabriel's teacher ever mentions the military, it is with a shudder and perhaps a condescending smirk.

The smirk was momentarily replaced by a howl of terrified dismay when 19 hijackers killed 3,000 Americans one bright morning. Suddenly Gabriel's teacher's progressive tolerance of everybody and everything - except traditional males - evaporated. Gabriel, his teacher, and maybe even Gabriel's parents looked around, as if waking from a dream, and fervently hoped there were a few good men and women selfless and strong enough to shoulder an 80-pound pack and sling on an M-16 to defend the rest of us.

There were. Not all young men and women are "Gabriel," and even some who once were, volunteered to be mentally and physically "readjusted" by their drill instructors from "nasty civilians" into America's finest warriors.

We went to war in Afghanistan and Iraq. The military performed brilliantly. But the war was not over in 15 minutes. It wasn't cut to the pace of a TV commercial. Disney had not supplied a happy ending. Our elites did not like to see our military force used. Our war was fought on the ground, not with cruise missiles. Our attention wandered. Some military parents grew impatient. When where their children coming home? What the hell was this word "sacrifice" supposed to mean?

How far will Speak Out go in bedding down with the rabble of America-haters that inflict themselves on the rest of us through the worldwide peace movement? Would the founders of Speak Out have walked out on the Columbia University associate professor [Nicholas DiGenova] who, according to The New York Times, told thousands of students and faculty at a "peace teach-in" in March that he would like to see the United States suffer "a million Mogadishus"? Maybe members of Speak Out don't go that far. But, as the parents of military men and women, they sure have some strange bedfellows.

Like myself, most military parents honor the fact that our children took an oath to serve. Most of us are more patient than members of the chattering classes who write editorials about how our American policy is failing in the Middle East. Most of us know that even if it does fail, we must still try to transform the breeding grounds of hopelessness, terror and oppression into places where freedom and human rights are given a chance. Most military parents know that World War II lasted almost five years. Germany took 20 years to reconstruct. We still have troops in Korea, Japan and Germany. We know that the Middle East is a complex mess and that the chaotic "crescent of instability," stretching from the horn of Africa through the Middle East and all the way to Indonesia, cannot be allowed to continue breeding violent anti-American terrorists.

My Marine has my absolute support, even though I feel sick at the thought that he could be hurt, or worse. I pray my way through each day and many lonely nights. He is engaged in a noble undertaking. I think most military parents feel as I do, though maybe the press doesn't quote us as often as it trumpets the fears of a few oversolicitous hand-wringing military "soccer moms" (and dads) wailing "Be careful!" as their sons and daughters try to defend us. I hope such parents come to understand that they are putting our children at risk by making us look weak and divided to terrorists who already dismiss us as soft.


TOPICS: Activism/Chapters; Foreign Affairs; Front Page News; News/Current Events; Philosophy; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: antiwar; banglist; frankschaeffer; gabriel; militaryfamilies; speakout
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To: armymarinedad
I must agree with you a draft is a bad idea and my sons agree. They are warriors,airborne infantry and marine infantry. The last thing they want next to them is a coward that doesn't want to be there. So don't worry Jody they will take care of your freedom. They will also get the girls back when they return.

OUCH! LOL......get 'em pop! I love your sons for being willing to do what others refuse to do! I want them (and my sons) to be the defenders of my homeland!

221 posted on 03/08/2004 8:04:59 AM PST by beachn4fun (DemocRATS and Liberals are funny.....Haaa......haaaa.......haaaa......haaaa........haaaaa........)
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To: beachn4fun
Thank you, I sincerely appreciate it.
My Dad and I were both USMC - he in WWII and me Vietnam.
We'd both do it again ... no questions asked, and so would many more like us.
Semper Fi ....
222 posted on 03/08/2004 9:43:07 AM PST by oh8eleven
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To: White Eagle
"You realize that with 4 years of college, 4 active and 4 reserve, you'll be 30 before you get the DD214. And the purpose of the military is to kill people and break things. That's what you're signing up for now, because the Navy may let you change your mind in the next few years, but I won't."

We need more fathers like you, your lessons will be invaluable to his success. Please thank your son for his service. God bless.

223 posted on 03/08/2004 11:51:27 AM PST by Donaeus ( Change the world, not en masse, but by planting freedom in one heart/mind at a time.)
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To: sauropod; Donaeus; autoresponder; PhilDragoo; Liz; onyx; nicmarlo; Happy2BMe; potlatch; MEG33; ...
Thanks for posting this Sauropod. LOTS of work to have to hand type this article.

And thanks for the link to this on FR's Finest, Donaeus !

Great article ! ...


224 posted on 03/08/2004 11:59:46 AM PST by MeekOneGOP (The Democrats say they believe in CHOICE. I have chosen to vote STRAIGHT TICKET GOP for years !!)
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To: sauropod; armymarinedad
"Thanks. I don't mean to be so passionate about supporting our troops and their efforts in the War on Terror but I can't forget the first battle, The World Trade Center/Pentagon/Penn plane crash."

I can't either. I lost a good friend that had an office in the basement of the Pentagon that day.

Armymarinedad, you don't need to apologize for your passion. If anyone has a right to be passionate about this war, having two sons in the field, you have that right. We need all the supportive voices in this nation to stand up and keep talking and telling the truth. Thank you to you and your sons.

Sauropod, I am truly sorry for your loss. Thank you for everything you're doing as well.

I did not lose friends or loved ones on 9/ll but I will never forget being frozen in horror as I stared at the unfolding attacks, nearly unable to speak most of the day, realizing thousands of innocent people had been slain.

At the time I was working for a company that provides breathing medication for chronically ill elderly patients. A large number of the people I took care of were from NY. One woman lost 5 friends/family members that day. Some patients were so terrified they could barely function, others wanted to do nothing but talk about the tragedy. All of them feared it would happen again which sparked panic they would run out of medication. The added anxiety of going without treatment for a person who struggles to breathe is stress they can ill afford. Fighting this war is worth it, if for no other reason than never again having our citizens shuttering with dread and agony at the hands of terrorists. But I know we are accomplishing so much more than that.

225 posted on 03/08/2004 12:44:29 PM PST by Donaeus ( Change the world, not en masse, but by planting freedom in one heart/mind at a time.)
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To: MeekOneGOP; sauropod
Aw, it was nothing. Sauropod did the hard part--thanks friend.
226 posted on 03/08/2004 1:27:38 PM PST by Donaeus ( Change the world, not en masse, but by planting freedom in one heart/mind at a time.)
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To: sauropod
What an excellent article! Thank you so much for taking the time to type it in!

this guy absolutely nail it. bulleye
227 posted on 03/08/2004 1:53:30 PM PST by CHICAGOFARMER (Citizen Carry)
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To: Burkeman1
Really? The military has been nothing but a curse to my family. One dead at Iwo Jima. Another insane for the rest of his life. My father had his life messed up because of his service. My Great Uncle who was a Captain Chaplain Catholic Priest in WWII and got the Silver Star was a near zombie by the end of his life as he couldn't deal with what he had seen.

Yeah- conscription is great! Try and get me or my sons for your army and wars.

The military which has been such a curse to your family is the only reason you are free to criticize the military.

I hate to break it to you, but the military doesn't drive people insane and doesn't "mess up" people's lives. People mess up their own lives. People allow themselves to become "insane," as you put it, by not taking care of their psychological health. It's not the military's fault that people "can't deal with what they've seen."

Perhaps you should move to Somalia or another country that is essentially anarchist and see how well you fare when there is no one to protect you.

228 posted on 03/08/2004 5:34:46 PM PST by AQGeiger (I am proud to be the wife of an infantryman in the 82nd Airborne.)
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To: AQGeiger
You go girl, we're all proud of your husband! Airborne rocks.
Semper Fi ...
229 posted on 03/09/2004 4:05:38 AM PST by oh8eleven
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To: wirestripper
Thanks for that.
230 posted on 03/09/2004 9:31:50 PM PST by Burkeman1
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To: AQGeiger
All the men languishing in military hospitals right now with mental disorders are just slackers to you is that it? Patton slapped that soldier who was battle fatigued and he was right? Their fault huh? Try taking care of a great uncle for 40 years who saw real war. Then tell me about how "strong" you are. You are a disgusting person.
231 posted on 03/09/2004 9:44:49 PM PST by Burkeman1
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To: Burkeman1
We make collective mistakes often when we prosecute a war of any kind, and often in the course of time the purpose becomes muddied and difficult to grasp..

But for the men who fight them, the purpose is clear and must remain so.

They fight and often die for their country and their flag. A purpose and cause that is right, even when the leadership is wrong.

Great care must be used when one is critical of a war or a use of military force.

Always.......

That is what a patriot is and does.

When you take a good look at the Vietnam war and put it into perspective. You find that although we technically lost the conflict and withdrew with large losses, we actually won when one considers what the big picture goal was. We stopped the spread communism in it's tracks, not just by that one action, but by a series of actions throughout the world, both subsequent, prior to, and including Vietnam. Cuba being another one.

I am fortunate to have lived through the cold war and to have seen the fall of the "wall". And, I did my part in West Germany while we pressured the Communists of that front of the war in 1970.

Was it worth it?

Sure it was! because we are all free to talk about it now. If we had lost, we would not be talking about this now, or ever.

232 posted on 03/10/2004 10:15:32 AM PST by Cold Heat (Suppose you were an idiot. Suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. --Mark Twain)
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To: Burkeman1
I consider it a compliment that a coward of your caliber consider me a disgusting person.

Oh, by the way, my husband just returned from a year in Iraq, has fought in "real war," as you put it, has killed people, has buried some of his fellow soldiers and seen both military and civilians get blown up, shot, et cetera, and isn't maladjusted after returning. Some people are simply not cut out for the rigors of combat.
233 posted on 03/14/2004 4:36:08 AM PST by AQGeiger (I am proud to be the wife of an infantryman in the 82nd Airborne.)
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To: Joee
You fought in Korea ?
234 posted on 03/19/2004 1:59:48 AM PST by Atlantic Friend (Cursum Perficio)
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To: Atlantic Friend
WWII, Korea and Vietnam. My plate was full!
235 posted on 03/19/2004 10:24:18 AM PST by Joee
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To: Joee
Indeed it was ! Where did you fight in WWII ?
236 posted on 03/22/2004 4:44:00 AM PST by Atlantic Friend (Cursum Perficio)
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To: Atlantic Friend
I caught the tail end, and remained stateside as a Rifle Range Coach at Parris Island and the remainder of that hitch as a Turn Key at the Parris Island Brig. I saw the Corps go from 500,000 to 69,000 under Truman, who I despise and hold to blame for Korea and the subsequent loss of nearly everyone I knew in the Corps.
237 posted on 03/22/2004 10:26:33 AM PST by Joee
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To: Joee
Strangely enough, Korea is probably the least well-known war of the 20th century. I find it troubling, since the issues were very clear from the start. I am an avid wargamer, and I remember a good game by Victory Games, titled "The Korean War".

To me, in some ways, the opening of the Korean War seems the exact rehearsal of Desert Storm. A powerful dictatorship invades a weaker neighbor. The USA get the UN to give a green light to a military operation, in which the US takes the lead while gathering a vast coalition of allies, each sending from a battalion to whole brigades. The early stages of war are fought from the air, as Allied forces build up...

You were deployed in Korea from 1950 to 1953 ?
238 posted on 03/23/2004 12:39:10 AM PST by Atlantic Friend (Cursum Perficio)
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