Posted on 12/11/2003 7:55:35 AM PST by Mr. Silverback
A pair of magazine articles recently revealed some intriguing facts about marriage and singleness in America. U.S. NEWS AND WORLD REPORT notes that Americans are getting married later in life. And, according to reporter Michelle Conlin in BUSINESS WEEK, "The U.S. Census Bureau's newest numbers show that married-couple households . . . have slipped from nearly 80 percent in the 1950s to just 50.7 percent [of the population] today. That means that the U.S.'s 86 million single adults could soon define the new majority . . . What many once thought of as the fringe is becoming the new normal."
As a result, the way we view many things -- singleness, marriage, friendships, and institutions -- is changing dramatically. For instance, U.S. NEWS AND WORLD REPORT's article focused on the so-called "Tribal Culture," in which single friends form highly organized groups that serve as a kind of substitute family. One such group, in Denver, has 110 members. But that number pales in comparison to some of the groups that are forming online at websites like Friendster.com where literally thousands of people meet to form social networks.
The existence of these "tribes" and these statistics tell us something about ourselves, the way we're wired. We are social beings: We need family and community -- even in a culture that prizes autonomy above all things. But BUSINESS WEEK's reporter sees a quite different meaning in the trend she calls "the new normal." Conlin argues that benefits like insurance and Social Security, which have always gone to married couples, should also be extended to singles, cohabiting couples, and homosexuals living together. She writes, "Just because matrimony is good for society doesn't mean that outmoded social benefits are."
Now, first let me say that it's important for Christians, when examining this trend, to avoid pointing fingers or acting as if singles are somehow inferior to married people. Surrounded by a culture fearful of commitment and more interested in "hooking up" than dating, even those who are interested in getting married often have a hard time finding anyone who shares their interest. Also, as Paul teaches in the New Testament, not everyone is called to be married.
However, there's a genuine cause for concern when people cite widespread singleness as an excuse to promote policies that denigrate traditional families. The benefits we give to two-parent families should have nothing to do with how many families there are. It's a recognition of the great importance of a stable family structure to our society, in all kinds of areas -- the strength of the workforce, the emotional health of kids, and even the physical health of adults. These benefits are one way that we encourage standards that reflect the way we were designed to live -- standards like lifelong faithfulness to one person and a committed mother and father for every child. The more we insist on ignoring these standards, the weaker our culture becomes.
Marriage already has enough strikes against it in a culture that largely considers it just one more "lifestyle choice." We don't need to discourage it even more. "The new normal" so-called may change a lot of things, but it shouldn't change the way we look at a God-ordained, time-tested institution. Tribes may have their place in the chaos of postmodern culture, but they are no substitute for marriage and the family.
You, sir, are a real man. Wish there more single men out there with your mindset.
Oh no darlin', it isn't silly at all! I am showing people the water lines and outdoor faucets that I put at my house (I mean, dug trenches and everything) as if I built the pyramids.
Be proud, and if they look at ya funny, then you know they don't know the joys of do it yourself plumbing (and PVC glue).
I've got yer club right here, pal. Why I outta....
interesting.
Again, intellectual honests, please. For the sake of convenience, reliability and cost; the pill is for all intensive purposes the de-facto form of birth control used. The condom may be used, and in that case (the ONLY form of BC available to men) the man has responsibility. However, the statement stands, many children are around today because the woman lied or deceived the male that she was using BC, when it was known to be a bold faced lie.
In the realm of a marriage, this lie results in the husband taking on responsiblities he may have felt that were financially inopportune, or were simply unwise from the relationship perspective. When the laws support a party in deceit, and provide no legal recourse or redress to the affected party; the system is wrong.
Now what husbands REALLY appreciate is...
That reminds me of a joke: What's the difference between a wife and a hoover?
This is one thing we agree on. I've seen it two times, and never laughed so hard in my life.
Be proud of yourself. I have done that before. My dad died a few months ago and I have ended up with all his tools :) I am quite proud of my tool collection. I inherited the house and all that goes with home ownership, being single, don't have the kiddos to do the slave labor around the yard ;) j/k. I love yard work and gardening.
When I built a commercial kitchen for a catering business I nearly went to war with the plumbing inspector. The codes changed after we started building and I needed the specs so I could pass inspection and the planning and development office did not want to share the information. The plumbing inspector made the statement that I would not be able to understand what I read. I told him I managed to graduate from college I think I could figure out the plumbing specs.
I think I figured out why they don't want the average person to get copies of the building and plumbing codes. They really aren't that difficult to understand and implement and the unions would lose lots of money on jobs.
I would support a mandatory DNA testing before the birth certificate is filed. That way, if a husband wishes assume the responsibility of raising a child; it is a decision made with the full facts and implications made known to him from the beginning.
The way things presently stand, many fathers are paying child support for children that are not theirs. This is the only legally sanctioned form of fraud on the books. The party that lied, who through the active action of deceit and deception has prospered from this is the woman. Based solely upon the word of the woman, a man must pay 25% of his income for 18 years. If the word is proven to be a lie, the man's only recourse is to sue the 'recipient' of teh payments, the only innocent in this whole mess - the child.
Burned a few dozen times? Impressive. Is anything left of it?
Why do you think he's so...touchy? ;)
Well, you're no fun! ;)
But, consider what he is saying. For example, if a guy won't date a girl because she isn't thin enough - he's a pig. But when is the last time you heard of a super-model dating a hard working construction worker? When is the last time you saw a really attractive woman with an average looking, working stiff. Typically, you see the desireable women with rich guys - face it, Hugh Hefner isn't a super model, but he has attractive women flocking around him 24/7. Same with Donald Trump, just about any rock star, ect.
Now consider the attractive women who go for the 'bad boys', and ignore the hard working 'nerds'. The saying 'Good guys finish last' is a stereotype for a really good reason; because for the most part it is true. Women flock to alpha-males, and alpha-males tend to be arrogant, intimidating and powerful. Nice guys are the antithema to the alpha-male.
Also, when is the last time you heard of guys playing 'head games' with thier girlfriend, all based from some lame article in a magazine? When is the last time you heard of a guy asking a girl out, simply to make another girl jealous? When is the last time you heard of a guy flirting with a girl, and promising to do something for her if she would only do buy him something first? Simply stated, straight men don't do that. So, when a guy gets used a few times; they get bitter. That's natural, and shouldn't be at all unexpected.
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