Morford: Attack Of The Killer Porn (BushCo's Protection from Pornography Week)

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, November 5, 2003 | Mark Morford, Looks For Porn Stars That Resemble Bush

[presidio9]

Porn is, in fact, icky bad gross blasphemous sacrilegious and totally comedogenic, and looks awful with the couch and never ever calls, and leaves the seat up, and never does the dishes, and Makes Mommy resentful and Timmy cry and Daddy spend 14 hours a day glued to assbuffet.com as he maxes out the family MasterCard on rubber-fetish DVDs and nipple clips. This much everyone knows.

[presidio9]

Or that the combined subscriber base of Penthouse and Playboy exceeds that of Newsweek and Time.

Can someone verify this? I seriously doubt that this is true.

[WackyKat]

I can't read Morford without laughing uproariously.

[MineralMan]

It's real. Go to:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2003/10/20031025-1.html

[AdamSelene235]

Or that the combined subscriber base of Penthouse and Playboy exceeds that of Newsweek and Time. Can someone verify this? I seriously doubt that this is true.

The articles are certainly better written.

[clintonh8r]

Mark menstruates perpetually....

[LanPB01]

I doubt that line is true, considering the Penthouse's sales base has reached such a low point they are on the verge of collapsing.

[AdamSelene235]

Wow.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim October 26 through November 1, 2003, as Protection From Pornography Week.

Is this guy using the same Constitution I'm using?

[Luke21]

This guy is a clown, pure and simple.

[presidio9]

No. Is it true that Penthouse and Playboy have more subscribers than Time and Newsweek. This sounds like a crock, if for no other reason than the fact that most people I know wouldn't want their mailman delivering porn to them.

[traditionalist]

You forgot the barf alert.

[traditionalist]

After all, porn ruins families. And communities. And children. And puppies. And the upholstery.

That's all true, except for the part about puppies. No, scratch that. I'm sure some sicko must be producing porn featuring beastiality.

[Hacksaw]

No. Is it true that Penthouse and Playboy have more subscribers than Time and Newsweek. This sounds like a crock, if for no other reason than the fact that most people I know wouldn't want their mailman delivering porn to them.

Well, I actually subscribed to Playboy once, and found that it is a very liberal magazine. Hefner donates a lot to feminists. Then I grew up and didn't renew my subscription (if I want to look at naked women, I'll look at the real thing).

[daviddennis]

Newsweek circulation worldwide is 4m, in the US 3.1m. Source.

Penthouse circulation is 700k; it was 4.7m at its peak. Source [Warning: potentially objectionable content]

Playboy circulation was 7.2m at its peak (same source as above), but it's declined to points unknown now.

I don't have the time to find Time's circulation; it's a harder web query. But the odds are that Mark Morford's claim is based on peak circulation numbers, not current ones. Of course since then there has been an enormous boom in pornographic videos, so I don't doubt the truth of his essential point.

D

[suzyq5558]

This guy is so insane and nothing he writes is worthy of reading. ive now read several of his hate filled nasty screed's and wonder how old this guy is? what immature blathering. what a self centered little P***k. CACK CACK CACK.......

[MEGoody]

"After all, porn ruins families. And communities. And children."

It does indeed.

[MEGoody]

"After all, porn ruins families. And communities. And children."

It does indeed.

[Just another Joe]

Man! You talk about run on sentences.

BTW, what married man would, ever, pay for porn?
I mean, c'mon, you have one of the herd so why pay for milk?

[GOPJ]

Liberals are freaky about porn. Problem is they've over used it to the point that more and more is less and less.

Their search for a stimulation high is similar to the drug abusers search for the old high -- the one at the beginning of the addiction. Numb to the point of boredom. And boring to real women. Pathetic, thy name is Liberal.

[Onelifetogive]

I think I would be comfortable with fewer restrictions on porn if we also had fewer restrictions on vigilante torture of people who use porn in the abuse of children

Deal?

[mountaineer]

I can't read Morford without laughing uproariously.

Generally, I agree, but when he goes off on certain rants like this:

Daddy spend 14 hours a day glued to assbuffet.com as he maxes out the family MasterCard on rubber-fetish DVDs and nipple clips ....

... and this:

Porn -- the raw yummy sexual kind -- is just another evildoer, according to the government. Just another pillaging army of well-endowed hip-grinding badness determined to ruin your marriage and corrupt your children and turn them into coke-sniffing silicone-enhanced anal-sex sex freaks from L.A. who party way, way too much with Ashton Kutcher and Tommy Lee

then I feel like taking a shower first.