Snappy comebacks and one liners

strangecosmos

[falfa]

I don't think your satellite is in geosynchronous orbit.

[Poohbah]

I like your approach. Now let me see your departure.

[DeSoto]

If you want to bookmark this page click http://www.freerepublic.com/perl/add-link. Next, save it to your browsers favorites list, then fill in the blanks by cutting and pasting and VI-O-LA (er... or sumthin' like that)

Great one liners. I sure wish that I could use them on a few people.

[tubebender]

Great one liners. I sure wish that I could use them on a few people.

Surely not on FR ?

[Cultural Jihad]

Two political arch-enemies encountered one another on a narrow sidewalk on a rainy day. Soon it became clear that one would have to step into the mud if they were to pass. "I never give way to a scoundrel." One muttered. The other stepped into the mud and tipped his hat, "I always do."

(wasn't the one who always does Daniel Webster?)

[Cultural Jihad]

Surely not on FR ?

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. :)

[mommadooo3]

A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?
He always finds himself lost in thought......it's unfamiliar territory.
He doesn't know the meaning of fear......but then again, he doesn't know the meaning of MOST words.
I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works!
I'm impressed.........I've never met such a small mind in such a big head before.
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
You're a habit I'd like to kick---with both feet.
I'd like to give you a going-away present...first, do your part.
You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement right away.
Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
. . I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
You are not even beneath my contempt.
I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit for the one thing you've done yourself?
I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.
I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.
I would ask you how old you are, but I reckon you can't count that high.
I would have like to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.
If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.
If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid..
I'm blonde. What's your excuse?
I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
She has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.
Sit down, give your mind a rest - it obviously needs it.
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but it looks like this guy just gargled.
Some folks are so dumb, they have to be watered twice a week.
That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.
When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
Whom am I calling 'stupid'? Good question. I don't know. What is your name?
Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained.
Your verbosity is exceeded only by your total stupidity.
I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass.
Breathe the other way, please. Your opinions are bleaching my hair
You have got your head so far up your ass you can chew your food again on the way down.
I hear you changed your mind at last! What did you do with the diaper?
You grow on people....so does cancer.
If shit was music, you'd be an orchestra.
You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.
He is so short that when it rains, he is always the last to know.
You really are as pretty as a picture. I know I'd love to hang you.
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
There are only two things I dislike about her - her faces.
Would you like some cheese and crackers to go with that whine?
I can tell that you are lying - your lips are moving.
This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person. She's the first in her family born without tail.
You have an inferiority complex - and it's fully justified.
If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder - it would be an apocalypse!
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.
Ordinarily people live and learn, but you, you just live.
You are not as bad as people say - you are much, much worse.
Her origins are so low, you'd have to limbo under her family tree.
I know you always have your ear to the ground. How's life in the gutter?
Talk is cheap. but that's OK - so are you.
You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk.
Her mouth is dirtier than a rubber toilet seat.
He's better at sex than anyone. Now all he needs is a partner.
You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.
You're the best at all you do- and all you do is make people hate you.
She has more faces than Mount Rushmore.
People would follow him anywhere.....but only out of morbid curiosity.
His personality's split so many ways, he goes for group therapy on his own.
If truth is stranger than fiction, then you must be truth!
If sex were fast food, you'd have and M-shaped arch over your head.
Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

[knarf]

If I can't bookmark this, I'll by golly bump it.

[sweetliberty]

Check these out:

FReeper Funnies

[S.O.S121.500]

And we all know someone who could f__k-up a wet dream.....

[mommadooo3]

LOL...hopefully the bookmarking feature is working soon. These make nifty signs to hang around the house.

There's a bunch that have to do with guns...but as usual, it's gone missing. (kids will do that everytime!)

[MissAmericanPie]

These are priceless, thanks for the ammo.

[GallopingGhost]

bump

[nobdysfool]

I always liked, "Does being stupid come naturally to you, or do you have to work at it?"

I had a friend who used to remark that "Some people are stuck on stupid, and eaten up with a dumb a$$!"

[nobdysfool]

And then there's "If you were twice as smart as you think you are, you'd still be only one quarter as smart as the rest of us.."

[OrioleFan]

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.

[1John]

Or...... If you can't bookmark this and you are using Netscape, you can right click (PC) or < control > + click (Mac) and send the addy to yourself in an email......... (works in a pinch)

[rockfish59]

dang!

[rockfish59]

'it gets late early out there'

yogi berra explaining after the clocks are turned back in october!

[Hank Rearden]

"When you go down to your basement, can you look up and see axles?"

(a favorite around these parts)