Yum! :-p
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To: Constitutionalist Conservative
Well, we'll be having REAL turkey, with a nice Zinfandel! And we will enjoy it very much, I'm sure. I tried being a vegetarian once, but I missed steak too much...
2 posted on
11/21/2001 11:48:15 AM PST by
.38sw
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
MMM...MEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
Well, I admit that I like tofu sometimes. But I am definitely looking forward to the real thing tomorrow.
Next year, I will deep fry one (a turkey, not tofu) for sure. After reading all these recipes for deep-fried turkey, I can't wait to undertake the project and taste it for myself.
7 posted on
11/21/2001 11:56:13 AM PST by
Maceman
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
SPAM now does turkey too. They should probably mold it into a bird shape and call it "Spamurkey" or "Spurkey"??
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
Thanks for the appetizing visual, but I will be firing up the Weber smoker with mesquite wood and the drip pan full of water, onions, celery, garlic, and chili pequin peppers. Put turkey on rack, close, and cook till meat thermometer says "done". Yummy!! I eat tofu for lunch sometimes, but hubby grimaces if he even sees it in the fridge...
9 posted on
11/21/2001 12:02:12 PM PST by
Texan5
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
I saw that Tofurky mess in the frozen food section the other day. I can't believe that people actually created the product, the packaging, or the recipes with straight faces -- especially for $23 bucks a non-bird.
Bean curd should be kept where it belongs -- in chop suey.
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat pressed formed soy bean curd.
12 posted on
11/21/2001 12:03:35 PM PST by
Sender
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
Martha won't be here for Thanksgiving dinner, bummer! Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes: Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect. Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I've gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea. The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas. Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey. We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying. We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door. Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat. I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that "passing the rolls" is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your sister in the head with warm tasty bread. Oh, and one reminder for the adults: For the duration of the meal, and especially while in the presence of young diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser-known name: Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or type of Cheese Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese Sauce stains. Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice; take it or leave it. Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won't come next year either. I am thankful!
13 posted on
11/21/2001 12:05:14 PM PST by
oldfart
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
Soy has chemicals in it that mimic the effect of estrogen on the human body.
As a male, I stay away from it.
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
And I thought tofurkey was just an urban legend. What about the vegetable rights people? Do they know how many soy beans were mutilated to make this huh thing?
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
I'm having a Turducken.
Stuffed, deboned chicken stuffed into a deboned duck that is wrapped in Cajun sausage, and the wole thing stuffed into a deboned turkey!
Three, count'em, three birds and a pig died for my sins.
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
Blecchhh. Maybe this needed a barf alert.
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
This almost put me off my appetite for tomorrow.. Almost.
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
One of the reasons I always wanted to be President (all the reasons I've come up with are silly, not good enough to actually become a politician) would be so I could not spare the White House turkey. Always thought that was a pretty silly thing, going through all that trouble just to let the stupid animal go about it's moronic life for no purpose.
25 posted on
11/21/2001 12:20:03 PM PST by
discostu
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
"What the hell is this? I want meat, dammit!"
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
You wanna really lose your appetite?
Hillary's Parade ![](http://www.nyctourist.com/packages/banner_thanks.gif)
The former First Lady has big Thanksgiving plans to rise above her New York troubles.
Click on Moose and Squirrel for the link!
![](http://dahtcom.com/images/sabertooth.jpg)
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
you can keep your soilent green like geletanous slop. We're going to deep fry our turkey. Real mashed taters, the wife is right now cooking a homemade pumpkin pie and getting the stuffing ready. But you go ahead and enjoy your geletanous slop.
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
Tofurky WishStixs Ingredients: Water, vital wheat gluten, tofu (water, soybeans grown without pesticides, herbicides or chemical fertilizers), white beans, garbanzo beans, natural vegetarian flavor, expeller pressed canola oil, shoyu (water, soy beans, wheat, salt), lemon juice from concentrate, calcium lactate from beets, salt, brown sugar, garlic, spices.I'd rather die than eat Tofurky Wishstixs. "Expeller pressed canola oil" sounds downright pornographic.
31 posted on
11/21/2001 1:03:56 PM PST by
Catspaw
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
Don't forget the BEANO!
To: Constitutionalist Conservative
One, Specially Seasoned Stuffed Roast made with a blend of Tofu and Vital Wheat Gluten.
Four, three ounce Tempeh DrummettesTM.
Fourteen ounces of Tofurky Giblet Gravy.
Two WishStixs Shoot me. Shoot me now.
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