Two Atheists Were Arguing. So Who Won The Argument?

I wrote the story below to poke fun at Atheists whose gods are Their Own Selves, Empiricism, Rationalism, Secularism, Logic, Science,

There are two atheists that are having an argument over contradictory propositions.

They are now on page 40 in the thread and they are not writing short posts, but long drawn out lengthy screeds.

They both claim victory and claim that they have established a high degree of Probability that their position is the correct one, and that their opponent's position is incorrect.

I have utterly defeated you says John. My arguments stand at a 90% Probability of certainty and your arguments stand only at a 40% Probability of certainty and here are my reasons to support what I say.

No, all that is incorrect replies Bob. My arguments stand at a 90% Probability of certainty and your arguments only at a 40% Probability of certainty and here are my reasons to support what I say.

The two atheists, John and Bob, decide to meet in Real World and continue their arguments.

They do this and they continue to argue back and forth for 10 days until they are near exhaustion.

Well no, replies John that would ruin our scholarly reputations and we'd be howled out of the room because everybody knows that taking a Majority Vote can not settle who has won an argument.

I know how we can settle this, said Bob, we can go and put our case before this organization:

The International World Authority That Has The Power To Decide Who Has, Or Has Not, Presented The Most Plausible Arguments.

So they asked Tom, but Tom said Listen fellas there is no such organization in the world as that, and you both should know this.

John and Bob both said well okay Tom, I guess you are right about that, but what in the world are we going to do now?

How can we settle who has won this argument with the highest degree of Plausibility?

Tom replied I declare that John has won this argument with the highest degree of Plausibility. I declare that John has won and that Bob has lost.

And so it came to pass that it was forever settled by Tom. John had won, and Bob had lost.

Ahh victory is sweet said John. I love it when I win and can know for certain that I have won.

Yeah, I told you it was a dumb story, but it did make a few serious points if you stop and think about it seriously.

The takeaway point, in case you missed it, is that Atheists are not as smart as they think they are.

Genesis:1 - For Atheists Humor (I did not write this)

1 In the beginning nothing created the heavens and the earth.

2 Now the nothing was dark and void; it was really nothing. But then there was something hovering right in the middle of it. How about that!

3 And there was a really big bang, and then there was light. 4 The light was really, really bright. The big bang separated the light from the nothing. 5 The light was called “universe,” and the nothing was forgotten, because if anyone knew about the nothing, they’d never believe any of this. And there was evening, and there was morning—well, not yet.

6 And a planet formed at just the right distance from an average star. And the planet was good—very good. It was a rare planet where something interesting might happen. 7 And an expanse of water formed on the planet. And if you have water, you might as well just admit that you have life. Ever hear of Mars? 8 The water was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—but if no one was there to see the sunrise, did it really happen?

9 And the elements were gathered to once place, and they combined in new ways, randomly, inexplicably. 10 The elements begat biomolecules, which begat amino acids and phospholipids, which begat nucleotides and lipid bilayers, which begat RNA and mRNA, which begat ribosomes, which begat proteins, which begat fully-programmed cells with three meters of DNA folded neatly inside a microscopic nucleus with its own mitochondrial power supply. Things like this just seem to happen.

11 And the life-bearing cells produced cyanobacteria and vegetation. At least, once the asteroid bombardment abated. 12 The cells used mutation to produce various kinds of species. And all the mutations were good. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning—yada, yada, yada.

14 And there was that time when a really huge asteroid slammed into the planet. 15 After things settled down, there were two lights in the expanse of the sky. 16 The greater light governed the day 17 and the lesser light governed the night. 18 It sure was pretty. 19 And there was evening, and there was morning—finally.

20 And even with the bacteria modifying the atmosphere from one type of toxicity to another, new life still formed. 21 Individual cells teamed together and figured out how to create complex organs with full nutrition, oxygenation, and waste removal systems connecting them all. 22 These new creatures were blessed, for it all just seemed to happen so quickly. They were fruitful and increased in number, filling the seas and the air. 23 And there was evening, and there was morning—give or take a billion.

24 And the mutations just kept getting better. The creatures became more complex, which was really amazing, what with smaller population sizes and longer gestation periods and one type of mutated creature preying on another. But somehow they still produced more kinds. 25 Oh my, there were lions and tigers and bears. And monkeys, too. We can’t forget the monkeys. They weren’t really that good, but they’re important to the story later on.

26 Then one creature appeared that could rule them all. This creature ruled over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that moved along the ground.

27 Male and female, they had an image that was unique: thoughts and language and art and multi-year courtship rituals and stupid religions and opposable thumbs and tools and creativity and guilt and consciousness and a lot of fun when trying to have kids and self-reflection and emotions: they got it all, even though their DNA only differed by two percent from other creatures.

28 They were blessed and ruled over everything. But when they mutated, none of the mutations were good.

29 And they ate a lot, too. 30 Not just the plants, but the animals, too. None of plants or animals seemed to be mutating much, either. Adaptation? Sure. Speciation? Not really.

31 And it was all very good, until the image-creatures started trying to explain it. And there was evening, and there was morning—but with no purpose and no reason to exist, you might as well sleep in.

Yes, they never follow their reasoning to its logical conclusion.

For example, if there is no God, and this life is all we get, why shouldn’t I rob, rape, steal, and murder, as long as I am sure I won’t get caught?

Appealing to morality to convince me otherwise is pointless, since if there is no meaning in the world, then morality is meaningless. The only thing that matters is what pleases me at the moment.

Saying it would benefit me more in the long run to play by the rules is also pointless. I might die tomorrow, so the short term benefit is a bird in the hand, while your speculations are two in the bush. It doesn’t matter to me if the benefit to society is greater your way, since society is also meaningless now.

So I can’t respect atheists that also follow all the rules like little drones. They should be out doing whatever pleases them as long as they can avoid consequences for their actions. Instead, most of them are hypocrites.

Now, Satanists, on the other hand, I can respect a little bit more. They follow the same flawed logic of the atheists, but at least they follow it to the logical conclusion, and admit that “Do As Thou Wilt” is their only law.

"My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust? If the whole show was bad and senseless from A to Z, so to speak, why did I, who was supposed to be part of the show, find myself in such violent reaction against it? A man feels wet when he falls into water, because man is not a water animal: a fish would not feel wet. Of course, I could have given up my idea of justice by saying that it was nothing but a private idea of my own. But if I did that, then my argument against God collapsed too--for the argument depended on saying that the world was really unjust, not simply that it did not happen to please my private fancies. Thus in the very act of trying to prove that God did not exist--in other words, that the whole of reality was senseless--I found I was forced to assume that one part of reality--namely my idea of justice--was full of sense. Consequently atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning."
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, pp. 38-39.

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