Posted on 03/28/2017 6:45:28 AM PDT by metmom
"Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. . . . For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions" (Matt. 6:12, 14-15).
An unforgiving Christian is a contradiction in terms.
It's possible to confess your sins and still not know the joy of forgiveness. How? Failure to forgive others! Christian educator J. Oswald Sanders observed that Jesus measures us by the yardstick we use on others. He didn't say, "Forgive us because we forgive others," but "Forgive us even as we have forgiven others."
An unforgiving Christian is a contradiction in terms because we are the forgiven ones! Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." God forgave us an immeasurable debt, saving us from the horrors of eternal hell. That should be motivation enough to forgive any offense against us, yet some Christians still hold grudges.
Here are three practical steps to dealing with the sin of unforgiveness. First, confess it and ask the Lord to help you mend the relationship in question. Second, go to the person, ask for forgiveness, and seek reconciliation. You might discover that he or she wasn't even aware of the offense. Third, give the person something you highly value. This is a very practical approach based on our Lord's teaching that where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matt. 6:21). Whenever I've given a book or other gift to someone who has wronged me, I've felt a great sense of liberty in my spirit. In addition, my joy is compounded because I feel the joy of giving as well as the joy of forgiving.
Don't ever let a grudge stand between you and another person. It will rob you of the full joy of God's forgiveness.
Suggestions for Prayer
Before praying, examine your heart. If you harbor bitterness toward another person, follow the procedure given above. Then pray, thanking the Lord for the joy of reconciliation.
For Further Study
Read the parable of the servant in Matthew 18:21-35.
What question prompted the parable? How did the king respond to his servant's pleading? What did the servant do later on? Why was that wrong?
Studying God’s Word ping
This is SO true. I had to forgive my ex, and Obama, and Hillary.
However, I look at it this way: you can forgive a lion for eating one of your children, but it is dumb to allow the rest of your children to continue to play around the lion.
I let other folks off the hook because I want to be let off the hook
However, forgiveness is not a suicide pact, nor should it be allowed to endanger others.
Agreed.
On both your posts.
Forgiveness is one of those things that most people don’t understand. Christ explained forgiveness in Luke:
Luk 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
Luk 17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
All other passages on forgiveness must be understood by bearing this passage in mind. What’s being condemned in those other passages is hard heartedness in failing to forgive AFTER our brother has repented, when God DID forgive us after we repented.
-Does God forgive our sins and save our souls, without our repentance? Of course not. Repentance is a prerequisite to salvation.
-Does God forgive our backsliding and stop chastising us, without our repentance? Nope. Repentance is a prerequisite to getting back in God’s good graces.
-Does the church forgive a member being brought before them for church discipline, without their repentance? Again, no. The errant member must humbly repent or be cast out of the church and treated like a heathen and a publican (Matt. 18:17).
Bingo! This is a very misunderstood concept as most equate the failure to forgive without repentance to holding a grudge. It is no such thing; we must not be merely willing to forgive, but eager to forgive, once the offender expresses a desire to make things right.
Forgiveness is one of those things that most people don’t understand. Christ explained forgiveness in Luke:
The rest of us needs to realize it may be us that needs to be forgiven in our difficult situations with others, all too often it is so easy to blame it on to the other person.
So sometimes we just have to forgive no matter what.
Exactly. God doesn’t want us to be arrogant and abusive in our dealings with others, and that’s what an unrepentant person is. God desires, above all, a repentant, humble heart.
It’s therefore not doing our brother any favors, nor our church body any favors, by letting them remain in their abusive attitude toward others/us. They simply can’t be in communion/fellowship with God or the church itself, and they’re therefore hindering everybody else’s communion/fellowship with God and among the brethren. So it’s not good for the body of Christ to have that “leaven” in our “lump.” Hence the need for church discipline to remove the unrepentant from the midst of the church.
This is exactly why church discipline requires us to:
1. Go the person by ourselves and hopefully they’ll repent and everything stops there;
2. Take two or more with us so that every word may be established, and hopefully they’ll repent and everything stops there, or the two or more with us tells us we’re in the wrong and we repent, and everything stops there.
3. Take them before the church, and if they don’t repent, remove them.
If these “Bible steps” are followed, who was in the right and who was in the wrong will be thoroughly established.
And yet Christ Jesus did not follow what Luke is saying, when from the cross, Christ said, “Forgive them Father, they know not what they do.” He did not wait for their repentance to ask God to forgive the savage throngs who called for his crucifixion. Far from it.
My Christian obligation to forgive others is not contingent upon anything they do. Just upon my desire to please the Lord and behave the way he wants me to behave, as hard as that often is.
This is exactly why church discipline requires us to:
So sometimes we just have to forgive no matter what.
Heb 9:22 In fact, according to the law of Moses, nearly everything was purified with blood. For without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness.
Luk 24:47 It was also written that this message would be proclaimed in the authority of His name to all the nations, beginning in Jerusalem: ‘There is forgiveness of sins for all who repent.’
It may depend on what is is. Forgiveness is a multifaceted word. I would suggest that forgiveness is not complete with out repentance. What you are not doing is not forgiving but something else? If it is forgiving, it is incomplete.
Forgiveness and repentance go hand in hand. When we see one, we should think of the other.
we must not be merely willing to forgive, but eager to forgive, once the offender expresses a desire to make things right.
Keep in mind that we're not discussing a case of a personality conflict or some other disagreement; we're talking a case of one Christian sinning against another. Under such circumstances, the offended party is under no obligation to repent. We're not to bear grudges or wish them ill - we're to pray for them in the hope that they will come to repentance so that they relationship will be restored. However, if the person who sins against you refuses to repent, Jesus clearly instructs us as to what we should do in Matthew 18. First, we should reason with the other party, personally. We shouldn't involve others or crank up the rumor mill. It could be that it's just a misunderstanding that can be worked out between the two of you and, if so, it should go no further. If not, then we are to approach the person with two or three witnesses so that the facts can be confirmed. If the person still cannot be won over, he is to be taken before the church. If that extreme effort fails, then he is to be disfellowshipped.
Simply saying, "I forgive you" and moving on without holding that person to account only increases the likelihood that the behavior will be repeated. Finally, this entire process is not an act of malice or vengeance; it's an act of love with the aim of getting a brother to see the error of his ways and make things right. If the offended party sees it any other way, then he has issues of his own to contend with.
we’re talking a case of one Christian sinning against another.
Forgiveness has become too cheap a word. There is much behind that simple word. When I read the stories in the paper of parents forgiving someone who has murdered their child, something is not right for me. Of course this is through the filter of the news paper and I don’t know the hearts of the parents or offender. but I don’t think it is forgiveness that should be expressed, but trust in God for the situation. On the other hand if it is forgiveness it is incomplete?
Now in the case of non Christians? I ask because it seems many are confused and think the response is the same in both situations. We like simple answers to apply in all situations.
By the way, thanks for the iron sharpening.
I completely agree. As for your example, I couldn't begin to put myself in the parents' place, but I agree that forgiveness doesn't seem to be the exact sentiment in most of those cases (I recommend a book called "Revenge Redeemed" by Bob Stewart as a moving exception). However, if that's what it takes to help them through their grief, then great. Same with someone who has been wronged, can't work it out, and is tormented by anger and a desire for vengeance - if "forgiveness" allows them to move on and avoid those destructive emotions, who am I to question it? The offended person has removed the temptation, and God will ultimately deal with the offender.
Now in the case of non Christians? I ask because it seems many are confused and think the response is the same in both situations. We like simple answers to apply in all situations.
Well, I believe a Christian who is the offended party would react much the same way (minus the church involvement), i.e., try to deal with it one-on-one, then bring in some trusted friends to help mediate if necessary. If that fails, then I believe that scaling back the relationship would be appropriate - always with the hope of being able to reconcile somewhere down the road.
I believe a major problem we have in all circumstances is that we forget Matthew 18. We're tempted to first validate the "offense" with our friends to see if our feelings are valid. That, to me, is a betrayal of an already damaged relationship which, if discovered by the other party, is likely to destroy the relationship. Going to my friends, who are likely to take my side anyway, is likely to poison their attitude toward the offender and publicize the incident within that social circle. Besides, it does absolutely nothing to resolve the conflict. The right thing to do is to always try to handle it one-on-one. There's no need to "validate" my feelings with anybody other than the offender. As often as not, things can be worked out without dragging others into it, with the result being a stronger, more honest and open friendship. And, if not, then our concerns have been validated and we know how we are to respond.
Thanks for the stimulating conversation, I wish you well!
Forgiveness and repentance go hand in hand. When we see one, we should think of the other.
Well, i think i had better just wipe it off and forgive.
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