[Satire] Pope Attends Charismatic Prayer Service To Experience What Torture Feels Like

Eye of the Tiber ^ | 6/2/2014

[markomalley]

ROME – Pope Francis led a pep rally yesterday in Rome’s Olympic Stadium in front of more than 50,000 Catholics who follow charismatic movements.

While listening to what many have termed “the most heinous music ever prayed to,” 50,000 Catholics raised their hands in unison as they prayed for Francis, who silently and repeatedly asked God Almighty to just make it stop.

Francis told the faithful that the devil wants to destroy the family, which he described as the “domestic church,” and went on to plead for the end of the use of torture.

“We also call on the international community to put a stop to the torture of prisoners. I’m guessing that this is why this music is playing in the background. That we may know what it is to suffer excruciating pain.”

Francis told the crowd that when he was Buenos Aires Archbishop, at first he didn’t “share” the way the exuberant charismatic Catholics prayed there, but now realized that he still has not changed his mind, going on to encourage everyone to man up and stop crying already.

Many in the crowd, we think, told EOTT while speaking in tongues that they were thrilled by the visit, saying, “Я тоже не знаю, что говорю.” Another woman said that “In realta’, non so quello che sto facendo adesso,” while her husband concurred with whatever the heck his wife said, adding, “Ich glaube, ich bete für euch gerade jetzt, aber ich kann nicht sicher sein.”

“It was wonderful to see him there,” said Donetta Corti, a charismatic Catholic living in Rome, as she swayed back and forth with one hand in the air like some doped up hippy just moments after taking a hit of that sweet, sweet ganja. “The entire experience appeared to overwhelm His Holiness as it does most every newcomer. Many times you could see him slumped over, vomiting, and asking God to just stop it and to put him out of his misery. It was obvious the man wanted to die a martyr. What humility…to plead to God on your knees in front of 50,000 people to end the misery of the world…to vomit because the pain and suffering in the world touches him at such a deep level.

Toward the end of the event, Francis invited members of the charismatic movement to the Vatican for a prayer service, adding that there were many people in the curia and Vatican Bank that he would like to have “sit through this” as a warning to never act out of line again.

[Manly Warrior]

Poor taste.

[stars & stripes forever]

Actually the late David Wilkerson (Sword & the Switchblade) spoke about the shunning of charismatic Catholics in an end times vision he saw in the 1970s. The sermon was made into a book entitled “The Vision.”

Interesting. (The Vision is not satire)

DAVID WILKERSON’S THE VISION PART 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnbpGCrc1zg

DAVID WILKERSON’S THE VISION PART 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0L5VPwHDwEg

DAVID WILKERSON’S THE VISION PART 3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4i6q07j59k

DAVID WILKERSON’S THE VISION PART 4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYgiHFcR-JM

[vladimir998]

Generally Charismatic Catholics are not shunned. The Church on the local level often bends over backwards for them. David Wilkerson’s visions should not be taken seriously. Even other Protestants know that Wilkerson is a false prophet: http://www.endtime-prophets.com/wilkerson.html

[huldah1776]

I had to LOL. My first experience with the charismatic movement was in fact extreme. I made the mistake of taking my son to a morning worship service and he was frightened. The thing that got me was the discordant noise. Very unpleasant.

I did, however, visit other charismatic churches and know that God works in His own way to distribute the gifts, with speaking in tongues being the least powerful but most desired and sometimes required [not Biblical]. Very loving people. As for the noise, I think the charismatics should follow the rules for speaking in church as suggested by Paul. Women should be quiet.

I heard the sound of heaven one day as I went into the basement of a prayer powerful church. The sound of children laughing and giggling in unison was divine. I hope I never forget that moment.

[GreyFriar]

I heartly recommend the songs of praise by Ned Tonner to all Christians.

http://www.amazon.com/Ned-Tonner/e/B001LH8YY0

His songs are what you probably call charismatic Catholic. I have found his songs as quiet, reflectful, and good company to help me into a prayerful mode, especially when I’m struggling to get there. My personal favorite is “I Need You Lord.”

Please note there are a couple of non-religous songs on the list, such as “My Indiana Home Sweet Home” and “You and I Are One,” which is a love song to his wife, but includes that God is the joining of them into one.

[stars & stripes forever]

“David Wilkerson’s visions should not be taken seriously. Even other Protestants know that Wilkerson is a false prophet”

You must be talking about the Protestants who have turned from the teachings of the Scriptures. David Wilkerson is not a false prophet.

[Alex Murphy]

Pope Francis led a pep rally yesterday in Rome’s Olympic Stadium in front of more than 50,000 Catholics who follow charismatic movements. While listening to what many have termed “the most heinous music ever prayed to,” 50,000 Catholics raised their hands in unison as they prayed for Francis, who silently and repeatedly asked God Almighty to just make it stop.

That there's funny, I don't care who you are!

[Manly Warrior]

No argument from me regarding your experience, I think that if someone satirized and scandalized the catholic ritual, there would rather perverse screaming....

Someone once mentioned about treating others as one would have them treat you. Golly, I forget Who that might have been?

[huldah1776]

sweet, in all ways. thanks.