Posted on 10/05/2010 10:22:19 AM PDT by afraidfortherepublic
CATHOLIC HORSES
One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.
Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race..
Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.
Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.
Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse.
Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated.. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.
By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.
True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day.
Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.
He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.
Confronting the old priest he demanded, 'Father! What happened?
All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings -- all of it!'.
The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. 'Son,' he said, 'that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites.'
This brought a laugh from me this morning. Perhaps Freepers on your ping lists may get a a few chuckles from it too.
And that's the problem with priests. When they're not supporting gambling, they're assuming that everyone not properly catechized must be a Protestant.
As a Methodist, I found it very funny, just like the joke about the Catholic kid going into a Methodist sanctuary and ask when they got robbed!
I can guess, but do tell.
How many priests do you know personally, Alex? Even one?
Thanks Alex
Can’t remember exactly, should have taken better notes at the sermon. but a Catholic kid goes to a Methodist church while staying with a friend. When the parent notices the kid staring at the very beautiful but austere sanctuary, the parent asks “Isn’t this a beautiful church?” the kid nods his head and says “Yeah, but who stole all of your gold and statues?”
That’s all there is to the joke. It’s no good if you have to explain it.8-)
Good one! The version I heard was about a priest blessing a long shot donkey which came in third place. Thus, it was announced “Priest’s Ass Shows”.
Snicker ... It doesn’t really need a “set-up”, but I thought there might be one.
Ping 11
PROSTITUTE? Oh thanks be to God I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant.
...”Oh, my Son, you didn’t you tell me the dog was Catholic!!”
Thank you! I needed that today.
LOL! I’m sitting here at the stables while my daughter has horse riding lessons. Had to check FR while I wait and got a Catholic horse joke to pass the time. Perfect! :0)
"It's all right son, I got him with the door."
"I just baptized and confirmed them, and now they only show up at Christmas and Easter."
I gotta million of 'em. I'll be here all week - try the veal.
“Did you smell that water? We must be ‘Piscopalians!”
ROTFLOL!
That one cracks me up every time!
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