Posted on 10/15/2009 9:51:57 PM PDT by Jo Nuvark
Ize don't noze teh whyze, but dis me touchdez. Kthxbai!
Dis is found in teh Book of Matthew 6 an in teh Book of Luke 11, srsly. Dis beez teh Ceiling Cat Prayer.
Teh Ceiling Cat of us, whu haz cheezeburger, yu be spechul Yu ordered cheezburgerz, Wut yu want, yu gets, srsly. In ceiling and on teh flor. Giv us dis day our dalee cheezburger. And furgiv us for makin yu a cookie, but eateding it. And we furgiv kittehs who be steelin our bukkits. An do not let us leed into teh showa, but deliver us from teh wawter. Ceiling Cat pwns all. He pwns teh ceiling and teh floor and walls too. Forevur and evuhr. Amen.
Genesis 1:2
Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
The translation of ruakh elohim is famously disputed (spirit from God, divine wind), but "invisible bike" captures neither the formal meaning nor the essence of the phrase.
Exodus 6:2-3
So Ceiling Cat seiz to Moses I am teh H4X0R. An I apearz to Abraham nd into Isaac n' into Jacob by mah name Ceiling Cat. Ah only tellz you Moses mah real name uv H4XOR.
Well, it's no worse than Jehovah.
Deuteronomy 6:4
Heer I, Izrail. Ceiling Cat is teh Ceiling Cat, Ceiling Cat alone.
The Shema. Things just get silly when you translate the every name and word for God the same. I would have preferred "H4XOR is teh Ceiling Cat, H4XOR alone."
1 John 5:7-8
There's three in Ceiling, right? Ceiling Cat, Jebus and Hover Cat. And three equals one. WTF? Srsly. There's three on Earths, invisible kitteh, wuter and bloods. Three equals one. WTF? OK.
The Johannine Comma is included without brackets, footnotes, anything. Only very late manuscripts include the Comma, and it is almost certainly a late interpretation of commentary into lemma. It isn't present in the standard critical text or the majority text.
The Pericope Adultera: John 7:53 is silently omitted, but the rest of the pericope is included, again without brackets or footnotes. John 7 is in a one-verse-per-line format, while John 8 is paragraphed. No editorial control is evident.
I don't even want to look at the end of Mark.
The LOLCat Bible is a wiki. You can edit it if you’re not happy with the translation.
P.S. “Invisible bike” is a reference to a famous early LOLCat, and not a Biblical translation.
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=invisible+bike&gbv=2&aq=0&oq=invisible+b&aqi=g10
:)=^..^=
Teh Beluved:
12 While teh king wuz at his tabul eating cheezburgerz,
my smellz go out.
13 My luver beez like teh sack of catnip
I put between mah brestes. I want him der.
14 My luver beez like teh clusterz of henna blossomz
from teh vineyahdz of En Gedi.
I thought it was good use of your edjamacayshun.
Most modern scholars prefer “Happy Cat” to “Jebus”.
I found a feral baby kitteh a few months back and I took her home. Good thing, as her siblings and momma all got either run over by cars or eaten. She is black as night, like basement cat, and by her behavior she might not have a soul.
What!? Snow already? Where are you from?
Ceiling Cat has blessed you. Congratulations!
Re Song 1:13: All six of them?
I’m from Yonkers NY BUT I live in Drums PA. About 125 miles west of Yonkers. 50 Miles west of the Delaware Water Gap on 80.
We had snow last night and this morning. I live in MA.
Totally jealous. I’m from Tennessee and we very rarely get snow here.
It’s that Global Warming thingie.
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