Genesis 1:2
Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
The translation of ruakh elohim is famously disputed (spirit from God, divine wind), but "invisible bike" captures neither the formal meaning nor the essence of the phrase.
Exodus 6:2-3
So Ceiling Cat seiz to Moses I am teh H4X0R. An I apearz to Abraham nd into Isaac n' into Jacob by mah name Ceiling Cat. Ah only tellz you Moses mah real name uv H4XOR.
Well, it's no worse than Jehovah.
Deuteronomy 6:4
Heer I, Izrail. Ceiling Cat is teh Ceiling Cat, Ceiling Cat alone.
The Shema. Things just get silly when you translate the every name and word for God the same. I would have preferred "H4XOR is teh Ceiling Cat, H4XOR alone."
1 John 5:7-8
There's three in Ceiling, right? Ceiling Cat, Jebus and Hover Cat. And three equals one. WTF? Srsly. There's three on Earths, invisible kitteh, wuter and bloods. Three equals one. WTF? OK.
The Johannine Comma is included without brackets, footnotes, anything. Only very late manuscripts include the Comma, and it is almost certainly a late interpretation of commentary into lemma. It isn't present in the standard critical text or the majority text.
The Pericope Adultera: John 7:53 is silently omitted, but the rest of the pericope is included, again without brackets or footnotes. John 7 is in a one-verse-per-line format, while John 8 is paragraphed. No editorial control is evident.
I don't even want to look at the end of Mark.
The LOLCat Bible is a wiki. You can edit it if you’re not happy with the translation.
P.S. “Invisible bike” is a reference to a famous early LOLCat, and not a Biblical translation.
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=invisible+bike&gbv=2&aq=0&oq=invisible+b&aqi=g10
I thought it was good use of your edjamacayshun.
Most modern scholars prefer “Happy Cat” to “Jebus”.
Uze ur good Bereanz cat.
[... John 7 is in a one-verse-per-line format,...]
one-verse-PURR-line...
Fitz urz.