ZOTTING your Soul to go to Troll-Heck

July 15, 2009 | ConservativesKilledJesus

[ConservativesKilledJesus]

I've been a Christian my entire life. Since I was a small child. Seven years old. I prayed for salvation from hell. I dedicated my life to Jesus. And I meant it. As I grew up I spent my time studying and praying and witnessing. I decided in high school that I would go to seminary and be a minister.

I was a minister for a short time after I graduated from seminary. But then I quit temporarily. I had been talking to people about Jesus for years and there were so many questions that I felt deserved answered. I believe that if you ask you will recieve and if you seek you will find. Maybe not a car or that girl you like or stuff like that, but truth and understanding and wisdom. Those are things I knew God wanted me to have and I prayed and I studied to aquire them.

But I wasn't getting answers to hard questions that I believed I needed answered, so, for a time, I decided to postpone ministry. I was only in my early 20s anyway I thought. I wasn't ready to counsel people about life when I had barely begun to live myself.

[paulycy]

Ya just gotta love a Religion Moderator who unleashes a fully-automatic wielding viking kittie!!!

[darkwing104]

Jesus called the Scribes and Pharisees "fools, hypocrites, blind guides, whited sepulchers, murderers, a generation of snakes,"

Please let me know if you want ON or OFF my Viking Kitty/ZOT ping list!. . . don't be shy.

[metmom]

And even if it is. I would rather burn in hell with my loved ones then sell my soul to live in heaven with the one torturing my loved ones in hell.

I'm sure you'll get your wish, right after you burn from being zotted.

[Allegra]

No, no...really. Fudgesicles are better than Dreamsicles and they're the same price.

Trust me on this one, dude.

[stephenjohnbanker]

Ashes to ashes...........zot to dust.

[2ndDivisionVet]

Read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.

[stephenjohnbanker]

“What seminary did you go to?”

Elementary my dear Watson, Elementary.

[stephenjohnbanker]

“That’s my conclusion after over a decade of study and prayer.”

My dad called epople like you educated idiots. He was correct.

[Monkey Face]

Get a LIFE, ejit!

[callisto]

What color are yours?

[dforest]

You need to go back and do more prayer and study fool.

[Monkey Face]

You dad was AWESOME!!!

[stephenjohnbanker]

He was, in fact, a remarkable man.

[TypeZoNegative]

Ummm.... Did your parents learn about Christianity at the Salvation Army’s psych ward?

[TypeZoNegative]

Hey, that’s mean! :P

[Hebrews 11:6]

While I realize that a poster with a screen name claiming that conservatives killed Jesus is an unsubtle troll, I am troubled that beyond a couple of referrals to CS Lewis no one seriously attempted an answer to what, after all, is a perfectly good and very important question. Many people are in that position of stumbling over this issue. I shall offer one possible explanation and challenge others to do likewise.

Our dear troll is quite correct that God is love, and we must start there. He loves every person, even the sinners, which is just all of us. Ultimately, He loves us so much that He grants us our wish, if we insist, to live apart from Him and His heaven permanently. But that choice, once granted, has a serious consequence.

He will no longer be present, in hell, to protect those who insist on being apart from Him. Without that protection, they are vulnerable to the evil people around them. What is to keep Hitler, or Jack the Ripper, or the devil himself from attacking them? For that matter, what is to keep them from attacking others? And, in God's loving economy, such attacks are undeserved.

Even though God is not present, He does not leave them defenseless. If he puts a hedge of fire around each, then that fire prevents them from attacking others. Depending on how evil that person is, then that is how big and hot their hedge is--presumably, Hitler's is a roaring inferno, and Satan's a whole lake of fire. Because they are evil, they do lunge at others, thus encountering the torturous flames, in direct and just proportion to what they deserve.

Now, I assume God's true plan is much better than my poor proposal--perhaps yours is, too. I present this only to demonstrate that there does exist a satisfactory answer for our troll. It is only an answer, not the answer. You do better, if you can.

[TXBlair]

Your screen name is offensive and you are no doubt a troll. But since you brought it up, here's my mini-sermon: I'm a Christian, too. I believe that those who don't accept Christ are separated from Him for all eternity. That is hell. Knowing this, instead of pouting and being mad at God for "being such a big meanie," doesn't it make better sense for me to evangelize and do everything I can to make sure my loved ones have at least heard the Truth (whether they choose to accept it is obviously up to them)? Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) Knowing this, as you do, doesn't it give your witnessing a sense of urgency?

Your frustration is understandable, but this comment bugs me:

I would rather burn in hell with my loved ones then sell my soul to live in heaven with the one torturing my loved ones in hell.

If that is how you really feel, than what does that say about you? What favor have you done your loved ones? Instead of joining them in hell, why not do everything you can to make sure they join you in heaven? What have you done for them lately???

This will sound rude, but I don't mean it to: I'm glad I'm not counting on someone like you to guide me toward salvation. Think about it...

[TXBlair]

Lol!

[Danae]

Wow, that ZOT was so badass, I think this troll BOUNCED. The internet paused. The EARTH moved. The 4 horsemen stopped and went back.

Chuck Norris’ eyebrows went up.

Cigarettes world wide got lit up....

KAPOW!

IAFZ

[TXBlair]

Nicely put. And you’re right, a serious attempt at an answer was needed in this case. Even for a troll who will probably run back to DU or Kos and have a good laugh about it. Thanks.