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New Testament translation: Thou shalt have sex
Boston Herald (print edition) | June 23, 2004 | Unattributed

Posted on 06/23/2004 7:55:02 AM PDT by maryz

LONDON – The Archbishop of Canterbury has given his personal backing to a new translation of the New Testament in which Christians are told to go out and have more sex.

St. Paul’s condemnations of homosexual sodomy are deleted.

Instead of censuring fornicators, adulterers and “abusers of themselves with mankind,” the new version of his first letter to Corinthians has St. Paul advising Christians not to go without sex for too long in case they get frustrated.

The translation appears to contradict the authorized King James version which, in a passage in I Corinthians, often used to back the celibacy requirement in the Roman Catholic priesthood, quotes St. Paul saying, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”

But in the new version, he says, “My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner. Husbands and wives should strive to meet each other’s sexual needs. . . . It’s not good to refuse a partner.”

The new version was translated by John Henson, a member of a network of radical Christians that favors “inclusive language” in the Bible.

His translation also changes the original Greek and Hebrew nomenclature into modern nicknames. St. Peter becomes “Rocky,” Mary Magdalen becomes “Maggie,” Aaron becomes “Ron,” Andronicus becomes “Andy” and Barabbas becomes “Barry.”

In other passages, Henson renders “demon possession” as “mental illness” and “Son of Man,” the phrase used frequently to refer to Jesus, as “the Complete Person.”

Times of London


TOPICS: Current Events; General Discusssion; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: catholiclist; johnhenson; newtestament; stpaul
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To: plushaye

Yes, he is an actual, spiritual being... who does communicate to us by putting thoughts into our heads.


61 posted on 06/23/2004 9:38:28 PM PDT by dangus
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To: ahadams2

Not only is it not a translation, it doesn't even qualify as a paraphrase.

Furthermore, I happen to be named Aaron and I've never, in my entire life, been called Ron.


62 posted on 06/23/2004 9:54:46 PM PDT by A.J.Armitage (http://calvinist-libertarians.blogspot.com/)
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To: plushaye

"Good thing it didn't poop on Him in this version."

Old couple are walking in the park. Pigeon flying over lets go, plop, lands on old man's head.

Wife says, "Oh, dear, I wish I had some toilet paper."

Old man says, "Why? He must be a mile away by now."

Bada bing.


63 posted on 06/23/2004 9:56:38 PM PDT by dsc
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To: ahadams2

"New: Meanwhile Rocky was still sitting in the courtyard. A woman came up to him and said: "Haven't I seen you with Jesus, the hero from Galilee?" Rocky shook his head and said: "I don't know what the hell you're talking about!"

Why would the damsel call Jesus a "hero?" The whole point of the thing is that she was accusing Peter of associating with a bad guy, isn't it?


64 posted on 06/23/2004 9:59:56 PM PDT by dsc
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To: kstewskis

"Sounds like some liberal democrats we know..."

Satan, liberal democrats...a distinction without a difference.


65 posted on 06/23/2004 10:00:57 PM PDT by dsc
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To: plushaye; dangus

two points on the Matthew excerpt:

1. The implication of the text is that it is a literal confrontation which occurs in multiple real physical locations.

2. This heretical 'translation' is actually attempting to gloss over the three sources of temptation in this world:
A. The devil and his minions.
B. The fallen nature of the world and all within it.
and
C. The not-yet-sanctified and therefore still fallen nature inherent in each person.

If you look at it from this perspective, you'll see that the 'translator' is trying to make it seem that good and evil are primarily, if not solely, internal human reactions to things...talk about postmodernist garbage...


66 posted on 06/23/2004 11:17:01 PM PDT by ahadams2 (http://trad-anglican.faithweb.com is the url for the Anglican Freeper Resource Page)
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Comment #67 Removed by Moderator

To: narses
The new breviary has Dag Hammerskald in it,

What???

68 posted on 06/24/2004 12:56:24 AM PDT by maryz
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To: Pio

"As a Roman Catholic it is tempting to say something smart, but I know that this version of the Bible will quickly be praised and adopted by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops. This type of translation will be heard at Mass within the next 10 years.

The Satanic Sodomites have nearly wiped out Christianity. The Church of England is toast, my Church is reeling....the indie born-agains hanging out in their 40-member Bible churches will be no match...and they are next."

How can you say that? Christ and Christianity will NEVER be wiped out. The gates of hell will never prevail against Jesus' Church.

I know that my Church www.calvarychapel.org will not start reading this so called 'bible'.

To be honest i'm not even sure who the A of C is but by thiers fruits ye shall know them...whoever he is he's obviously not a Christian and must not even read the real Bible. We ought to pray that he'll come to know The Truth of God, that he be filled with The Holy Spirit and that he'll receive our Savior, Jesus. Amen?


69 posted on 06/24/2004 5:30:35 AM PDT by Jn316
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To: maryz
St. Paul’s condemnations of homosexual sodomy are deleted.

I still can't believe this isn't a joke.

70 posted on 06/24/2004 5:58:17 AM PDT by Aquinasfan (Isaiah 22:22, Rev 3:7, Mat 16:19)
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To: EvaClement
18For I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds to these things, God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book; 19and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the Book of Life, from the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

What "book" was John referring to?

71 posted on 06/24/2004 6:05:05 AM PDT by Aquinasfan (Isaiah 22:22, Rev 3:7, Mat 16:19)
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To: ahadams2
New: As he was climbing up the bank again, the sun shone through a gap in the clouds. At the same time a pigeon flew down and perched on him. Jesus took this as a sign that God's spirit was with him. A voice from overhead was heard saying, 'That's my boy! You're doing fine!' " Matthew 23:25

OK, this isn't funny anymore. I see that Satan is alive and well.

72 posted on 06/24/2004 6:08:26 AM PDT by Aquinasfan (Isaiah 22:22, Rev 3:7, Mat 16:19)
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To: Aquinasfan; ahadams2
I'm with you. This isn't funny -- it's creepy.
73 posted on 06/24/2004 6:25:25 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of Venery (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: dangus; All
Just to get our heads clear, let's take a look at the Greek:

1 Corinthians 7

1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

1peri de wn egrayate, kalon anqrwpw gunaikoV mh aptesqai:
2dia de taV porneiaV ekastoV thn eautou gunaika ecetw, kai ekasth ton idion andra ecetw.

The key is mh aptesqai. This is clearly and plainly a negative - mh doesn't just mean "not" but "never, ever"! I would translate aptesqai as "join to" or "cleave to" because it's more than just "touch", but that's subject to debate. The negative is NOT.

So this guy is not only a heretic loon, he's a dishonest translator, too. (But we all knew that anyhow, didn't we?)

74 posted on 06/24/2004 6:39:06 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of Venery (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: dangus; All

To add one other comment: there is nothing in the original Greek about "some of you say that . . . " Paul is clearly and plainly saying exactly what the King James version says - and saying it himself, not repeating what somebody else said. "Wife" and "husband" are not in the original - what it says is, "let each cleave to a woman, and let every woman cleave to a man." But "cleave" is generally recognized as a close and permanent relationship - it is in the marriage service.


75 posted on 06/24/2004 6:46:07 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother (. . . Ministrix of Venery (recess appointment), TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary . . .)
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To: maryz
But in the new version, he says, “My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner. Husbands and wives should strive to meet each other’s sexual needs. . . . It’s not good to refuse a partner.”

Does he also say to use a condom?

76 posted on 06/24/2004 9:19:31 AM PDT by nosofar ("I'm not above the Law. I am the Law!" - Judge Dredd)
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To: plushaye

"There's no Satan and no angels and guess what else. Jesus goes around preaching about the New World Order. Doesn't that explain everything about this 'Bible'. "


The next tranlation will remove Jesus.


77 posted on 06/24/2004 9:26:21 AM PDT by nosofar ("I'm not above the Law. I am the Law!" - Judge Dredd)
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To: AnAmericanMother

Thanks for the Greek!


78 posted on 06/24/2004 9:26:51 AM PDT by maryz
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To: AnAmericanMother; Aquinasfan

It is undoubtedly diabolical and therefore yes, it's 'creepy'. On the other hand I believe it's only right and proper to give this misbegotten trash it's due; therefore I submit that, from now on, anything related to this particular work of fiction (can't really call it a translation) refer to it as the MPSV - Monty Python Standard Version.


79 posted on 06/24/2004 9:29:49 AM PDT by ahadams2 (http://trad-anglican.faithweb.com is the url for the Anglican Freeper Resource Page)
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To: redgolum

would you like me to lie to you?
ok
this is all a bad dream.


80 posted on 06/24/2004 12:59:38 PM PDT by King Prout (the difference between "trained intellect" and "indoctrinated intellectual" is an Abyssal gulf)
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