Posted on 06/23/2004 7:55:02 AM PDT by maryz
LONDON The Archbishop of Canterbury has given his personal backing to a new translation of the New Testament in which Christians are told to go out and have more sex.
St. Pauls condemnations of homosexual sodomy are deleted.
Instead of censuring fornicators, adulterers and abusers of themselves with mankind, the new version of his first letter to Corinthians has St. Paul advising Christians not to go without sex for too long in case they get frustrated.
The translation appears to contradict the authorized King James version which, in a passage in I Corinthians, often used to back the celibacy requirement in the Roman Catholic priesthood, quotes St. Paul saying, It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
But in the new version, he says, My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner. Husbands and wives should strive to meet each others sexual needs. . . . Its not good to refuse a partner.
The new version was translated by John Henson, a member of a network of radical Christians that favors inclusive language in the Bible.
His translation also changes the original Greek and Hebrew nomenclature into modern nicknames. St. Peter becomes Rocky, Mary Magdalen becomes Maggie, Aaron becomes Ron, Andronicus becomes Andy and Barabbas becomes Barry.
In other passages, Henson renders demon possession as mental illness and Son of Man, the phrase used frequently to refer to Jesus, as the Complete Person.
Times of London
Yes, he is an actual, spiritual being... who does communicate to us by putting thoughts into our heads.
Not only is it not a translation, it doesn't even qualify as a paraphrase.
Furthermore, I happen to be named Aaron and I've never, in my entire life, been called Ron.
"Good thing it didn't poop on Him in this version."
Old couple are walking in the park. Pigeon flying over lets go, plop, lands on old man's head.
Wife says, "Oh, dear, I wish I had some toilet paper."
Old man says, "Why? He must be a mile away by now."
Bada bing.
"New: Meanwhile Rocky was still sitting in the courtyard. A woman came up to him and said: "Haven't I seen you with Jesus, the hero from Galilee?" Rocky shook his head and said: "I don't know what the hell you're talking about!"
Why would the damsel call Jesus a "hero?" The whole point of the thing is that she was accusing Peter of associating with a bad guy, isn't it?
"Sounds like some liberal democrats we know..."
Satan, liberal democrats...a distinction without a difference.
two points on the Matthew excerpt:
1. The implication of the text is that it is a literal confrontation which occurs in multiple real physical locations.
2. This heretical 'translation' is actually attempting to gloss over the three sources of temptation in this world:
A. The devil and his minions.
B. The fallen nature of the world and all within it.
and
C. The not-yet-sanctified and therefore still fallen nature inherent in each person.
If you look at it from this perspective, you'll see that the 'translator' is trying to make it seem that good and evil are primarily, if not solely, internal human reactions to things...talk about postmodernist garbage...
What???
"As a Roman Catholic it is tempting to say something smart, but I know that this version of the Bible will quickly be praised and adopted by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops. This type of translation will be heard at Mass within the next 10 years.
The Satanic Sodomites have nearly wiped out Christianity. The Church of England is toast, my Church is reeling....the indie born-agains hanging out in their 40-member Bible churches will be no match...and they are next."
How can you say that? Christ and Christianity will NEVER be wiped out. The gates of hell will never prevail against Jesus' Church.
I know that my Church www.calvarychapel.org will not start reading this so called 'bible'.
To be honest i'm not even sure who the A of C is but by thiers fruits ye shall know them...whoever he is he's obviously not a Christian and must not even read the real Bible. We ought to pray that he'll come to know The Truth of God, that he be filled with The Holy Spirit and that he'll receive our Savior, Jesus. Amen?
I still can't believe this isn't a joke.
What "book" was John referring to?
OK, this isn't funny anymore. I see that Satan is alive and well.
1 Corinthians 7
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1peri de wn egrayate, kalon anqrwpw gunaikoV mh aptesqai:
2dia de taV porneiaV ekastoV thn eautou gunaika ecetw, kai ekasth ton idion andra ecetw.
The key is mh aptesqai. This is clearly and plainly a negative - mh doesn't just mean "not" but "never, ever"! I would translate aptesqai as "join to" or "cleave to" because it's more than just "touch", but that's subject to debate. The negative is NOT.
So this guy is not only a heretic loon, he's a dishonest translator, too. (But we all knew that anyhow, didn't we?)
To add one other comment: there is nothing in the original Greek about "some of you say that . . . " Paul is clearly and plainly saying exactly what the King James version says - and saying it himself, not repeating what somebody else said. "Wife" and "husband" are not in the original - what it says is, "let each cleave to a woman, and let every woman cleave to a man." But "cleave" is generally recognized as a close and permanent relationship - it is in the marriage service.
Does he also say to use a condom?
"There's no Satan and no angels and guess what else. Jesus goes around preaching about the New World Order. Doesn't that explain everything about this 'Bible'. "
The next tranlation will remove Jesus.
Thanks for the Greek!
It is undoubtedly diabolical and therefore yes, it's 'creepy'. On the other hand I believe it's only right and proper to give this misbegotten trash it's due; therefore I submit that, from now on, anything related to this particular work of fiction (can't really call it a translation) refer to it as the MPSV - Monty Python Standard Version.
would you like me to lie to you?
ok
this is all a bad dream.
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