Hillary vs. Dubya? Bring it on!

WorldNetDaily ^ | 9-08-03 | Doug Powers

[RightWingReader]

The dream matchup of every political junkie could be near. Hillary Clinton is now considered among Democrats to have the best chance of all their candidates of beating George W. Bush. We may think we've seen nasty battles before, but pitting this president against the New York senator will make "Freddie vs. Jason" look like a Saturday afternoon tickle fight at Barney Frank's house.

Hillary Clinton and George W. Bush are the most polarizing active politicians in the game today. They have many fans, but in an election, their detractors will speak loudest.

Democrats look at George W. Bush as an illegitimate president. One who wormed his way into the White House through fraud, deceit, crooked judges and making south Florida ballot instructions so complicated that only the smartest of household pets and potted plants could understand them.

Bush is the guy who drives Democrats nuts, because they always picture him as stupid and end up getting whipped. They portray Bush as somebody you could keep busy for hours, parakeet-style, simply by putting a mirror and a cuddle bone in front of him, and yet virtually every time they turn around, he ends up giving them a swift and painful kick below the beltway.

Republicans see Hillary Clinton as a power-hungry woman who hitched a ride on the back of her husband's artificial turf-lined, ambition-filled pickup truck and drove into Washington, D.C. They rolled into town like the "Lone Rangers of the Chattahoochee" to save us from oppressive things such as personal responsibility. They tried to enforce a fairness doctrine which would have granted total buffoons a turn at running the health-care industry, and bravely acted as role models for those stuck in loveless marriages everywhere.

Hillary is viewed by Republicans as a criminal, liar, carpetbagger and woman who sat with her fingers in her ears yelling "la la la la" so she could claim she never heard her husband's interns in the next room squealing to the point where Arnold Ziffel rolled over in his grave.

Should George W. Bush and Hillary Clinton square off, here's what they'll each need to focus on.

In our as-of-now hypothetical race, from Hillary Clinton's perspective, she needs to keep her campaign from getting out of control with distractions caused by her morally challenged friends and certain family members, and to repress her natural instinct of coming across as a short-seller of integrity stock who enthusiastically gropes the body politic with both hands and an icy, perverted grin.

This will require her to keep Bill and the other embarrassments-in-waiting in her life under constant lock and key. Give Roger a snootful and a ball of yarn to play with, Hugh a lifetime pass to Old Country Buffet, and tote Bill from town to town to get votes from his followers, and hope nobody notices a strangely similar geographical pattern between police reports of sorority house panty raids and Bubba's travel itinerary.

As for Bush, he'll need to keep hammering away at the benefits of tax cuts and promise more to come. Voters like to know there's somebody out there who cares about giving any of it back and won't just automatically spend it all to build another expressway named after some wheezy senatorial geezer as a "thank you" for spending the last half-century being exceedingly generous with other peoples' money.

Bush needs to constantly reiterate that the war on terror has saved lives here in the United States, spell out how many attacks have been thwarted since the creation of the Homeland Security Department and announce the discontinuation of the color-coded terrorism alert system. OK, so we've got an alert that interior designers can understand, but what about the rest of us? And I guess if you're colorblind, you may as well go and turn your infidel self over to al-Qaida right now, 'cause you're hosed under the current system.

In addition, but not as important, the president must learn to say "nu-klee-ar" and be sure to not drop his dog Barney again. Once is an accident; twice is "don't ever soil the rug on Air Force One again." It's an animal-rights public relations disaster waiting to happen.

Hillary vs. Dubya could be a most interesting matchup. A tough president detested by the left – a toughness honed by long jogs, weightlifting and sparring sessions with syntax, vs. a strong woman abhorred by the right – her main "strength" being her ability to, when confronted, hide behind the same skirt that Bill wore to stay out of the Army.

Hold on to the dog and fasten your pantsuit, this could be a bumpy ride!

[wingnuts'nbolts]

The only thing that will keep Hillary from running is fear of losing. Fear of being exposed, after all she no longer wields the most power. Fear that, just to get even, Bill will grope someone in front of the world, bite her into submission. Hillary will then get to stand by her man while the Presdency goes away for decades.

If I were Bill I would stay off airplanes and stay in public sight for the next year. He could be a monumental liability to his greedy wife. Wearing all those black pants suits was a test of how we receive her in black, at conventions, at speeches, at church, at Inaugurations. She started the test at George's Inauguration showing up shrouded in voluptuous black leather, in mourning for her humongous loss. Widowhood? Would she play as well as Jackie O? All fantasy!

In the real political world with no opportunity to dodge the questions, she would not stand a chance. She is at the pinnacle of being the most obvious, corrupt,self seeking, myopic prevaricating,tin eared,self agrandising,greedy, immoral, traitorous, socialistic, communistic, totalitarian senator in the congress, and she will not grow in stature over the course of the election. Run and lose Hillary. Do it now.

[CyberAnt]

"crooked judges and making south Florida ballot instructions so complicated that only the smartest of household pets and potted plants could understand them"

Ooooh how quickly they forget - the "crooked judges" were the DEMOCRAT Florida Supreme Court - who didn't support Bush .. and the "Florida ballot" WHICH WAS WRITTEN BY A DEMOCRAT - in a DEMOCRAT DISTRICT - was pre-punched incorrectly for Buchanan - and not Gore.

[Cate]

aaaaggggh.... ok, so we don't want her on the beach. How about she is stuck somewhere in France where she has to keep her clothes on?

[Gorzaloon]

I have friends and relatives whose relationships with me would end. We survive by not talking about the Clintons and the Bushes.

I am immune. There are no more liberals left in my private life, relatives or not.

They have the Press to speak to me for them. Those are eight years I shall never forget.

Life is too short for me to waste one minute on despicable, hateful enemies, whether in real life, or those three anchormen whom I have not watched in years.

[Genesis defender]

Did anyone see Brit Hume tonight? I don't know how he kept a straight face...

That's why Brit makes the big money. He has incredible self-control to keep a straight face even when the story is the funniest d*mn thing he's ever heard.

[AmericaUnited]

You bunch of damn pessimistic losers!

When others here and nationaly were calling 2002 a tight race, I said it would be a GOP Tsunami blowout like 94. I was right. You losers are drinking too much Koolaid and being useful gullible dupes of the media.

[AmericaUnited]

Dan the Man! Why some gutless weeenies fear Hitlery is beyonf me! She would get slaughtered!

[judywillow]

At this point, I can't picture the dem candidate being anybody other than the hildabeast. The Clintons and Terry MacAuliffe still control the money in the dem party and the Clintons are leaving too many bases uncovered, too many variables they can't hope to control, if they try to wait until 08.

[4mycountry]

BRING IT!!!

Ahem...don't you mean "KAKKATE KOI!!!"?

[Azzurri]

I say bring on Hillary and let's get it over with. Otherwise, we'll be hearing about Hillary until 2008, at least. If she runs in 2004, she'll be beaten by Bush and we'll be done with the Clintons forever. Or, at least until Bubba tries to challenge the 2 term limit thing, which I expect in the future.

[TomGuy]

Well, dipdung!

I guess we should fill honored that you are here to ... what?

I'll bet you were one of those in 1991 who was running around saying Bill Clinton would never get the nomination, much less be elected.

[Revolting cat!]

Hillary vs. Dubya? Bring it on!

Kool! Add McClintock as the Third Party Real Conservative candidate and let the race begin!

[mtbopfuyn]

Now that my schedule has slowed down, I need to catch up so armed myself today with some light reading, "High Crimes and Misdemeaners" and "The Case Against Hillary Clinton". With their disgraceful behaviors, I've been told by several lifelong D's they'll never vote RAT again.

'04 - no '08 - maybe '04 - probably '08. Ack, it's easier to just play along with what The Amazing Kreskin predicted this weekend that she will run in '08 but will LOSE.

[sport]

Won't be no contest.

The democrats will say that there is a law that everyone must vote for hillary.

Half of the members on this forum will vote for because of that.

[tioga]

Funniest thing I saw in months -- commentary about how hillary could get elected -- she kills of bj and runs on the sympathy vote in a black pantsuit! Loved it! Imagine the SNL skit for that one!

[potlatch]

Why do you think Bush held off, and just now is allowing the Peter Paul investigation against Hillary to continue? Did he "know when to hold-em"??

[FlyVet]

Fear that, just to get even, Bill will grope someone in front of the world, bite her into submission.

I don't see it that way. Billy boy lusts to get back into the White House as much as she does. He will go into full-time campaign mode for her. At least 40% of the country still worships Hillary!'s wife, Mr. Bill. As far as the groping goes, when did it matter before? The press will cover for him as much as possible, and the general public elected him twice already. They simply don't care what a lowlife he is. He presents them an illusion they want. I think she's dangerous. Flame away.

[Verginius Rufus]

I've never been convinced that there really was a large number of voters who mistakenly voted for Buchanan when they meant to vote for Gore...that was something the Democrats made up and got the media to repeat over and over until everyone assumed it was true. The idea was that that county (Palm Beach, I believe) had lots of Jews who would never intentionally vote for the supposedly anti-Semitic Buchanan. In fact, Buchanan had received a larger vote total four years earlier in the same county...the county also has a fair number of Ukrainians who admired Buchanan for his defense of John Demanyuk (sp?). The real story which went unreported was that lots of Bush votes somehow went missing.

[FlyVet]

Damn pessimistic losers and gutless weenies. Wow. So, because you think she can't win, you are somehow "brave".

I see.

[ETERNAL WARMING]

Dream matchup? It makes me puke. I'll be forced to don a toxic chemical suit and give GWB another vote.