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Planned Parenthood to Offer Christmas Condoms
bongonews.com ^
| 8. 20 03
| Mike Pasternack
Posted on 08/26/2003 12:44:24 PM PDT by freepatriot32
LOS ANGELES — The Planned Parenthood Association says it's not too early to be thinking of that perfect Christmas gift idea. They will be offering the little beauties (pictured left) at their Los Angeles offices starting next month.
It's all part of a new nationwide campaign to make condoms more fun. "They could even be used as finger puppets, as you can see," said a spokesman for Planned Parenthood. "We're trying to get people away from thinking of the condom as strictly a 'backdoor' business."
The spokesman said that Jewish versions are still in the testing phase. "Both the Star of David and the Menorah were a washout, but we have high hopes for the Dreidel."
TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Front Page News; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: allyourcondoms; arebelongtous; christmas; condoms; edible; flavored; frenchtickler; gelltip; glowinthedark; howareyougentlemen; itsyou; makeyourtime; movezigforjustice; neon; nochancetosurvive; offer; parenthood; planned; reservoirtip; setusupthecondom; somebody; to; whatyousay; zig
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To: freepatriot32
In a non-reproductive way, they actually are kinda cute.
2
posted on
08/26/2003 12:45:17 PM PDT
by
Registered
(Gray Davis won't be baaaaahhck)
To: freepatriot32
(just waiting for the Ho, Ho, Ho...jokes to arrive)
3
posted on
08/26/2003 12:45:44 PM PDT
by
Registered
(Gray Davis won't be baaaaahhck)
To: freepatriot32
Satire, Right?
To: freepatriot32
They are obviously targeting children with these products.
It's time to take on "Big Condom".
5
posted on
08/26/2003 12:48:41 PM PDT
by
Tai_Chung
To: freepatriot32
"the condom as strictly a 'backdoor' business."
OK...now we're taking the condoms into a direction I would prefer not to think of...
To: Tai_Chung
We're trying to get people away from thinking of the condom as strictly a 'backdoor' business.Obviously these are for the espiscopal celebrants...
7
posted on
08/26/2003 12:51:54 PM PDT
by
gas_dr
(Trial lawyers are Endangering Every Patient in America)
To: freepatriot32
Oh, that's just great. Ho, ho, ho, watch Santa go down the chimney.
8
posted on
08/26/2003 12:52:55 PM PDT
by
dirtboy
(Press Alt-Ctrl-Del to reset this tagline)
To: gas_dr
Obviously these are for the espiscopal celebrants... The non-chess-playing ones (you know the ones who can't tell a bishop from a queen).
To: dirtboy
or play squirrel and climb my tree....
10
posted on
08/26/2003 12:54:27 PM PDT
by
Zavien Doombringer
(I seem to be the source of gravity, everything seems to fall on me....)
To: xsmommy
> w i n c e <
11
posted on
08/26/2003 1:00:40 PM PDT
by
martin_fierro
(A v v n c v l v s M a x i m v s)
To: freepatriot32
These geniuses are our pro-choice opponents? And they're winning??
To: freepatriot32
What?
No Baby Jesus Condom?
Just Germanic Paganism?
Gross religious prejudice
So9
To: freepatriot32
These would have been just perfect for the clintoon WH tree.
Hitlery would have had them hanging next to those pierced gingerbread man ornaments.
Comment #15 Removed by Moderator
To: freepatriot32
"He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
"And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself..."
16
posted on
08/26/2003 1:20:34 PM PDT
by
RichInOC
(Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding, dong, ding, dong...)
To: jfritsch
Great tagline! Sacred Cows make the best burgers.
17
posted on
08/26/2003 1:23:58 PM PDT
by
rllngrk33
(Being a liberal means never admitting you're wrong)
To: freepatriot32
This is satire folks. Follow the source link.
18
posted on
08/26/2003 1:27:34 PM PDT
by
kidd
To: freepatriot32
We can start by using them ON PLANNED PARENTHOOD.HO!HO!HO!
To: freepatriot32
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Rubber
Had a very shiney nose.
Made out of vulcanized latex
and its lubricant even glows.
People posted nasty rumors,
that it was made with toxic waste.
And wearing it during coitis,
would turn your dong to tomato paste.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa was heard to say.
"I want the one that glows so bright,
'cuz I'm layin' pipe tonight."
After the Christmas Party,
Mrs Claus shouted out with glee.
"Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Rubber,
You'll go down in history!"
20
posted on
08/26/2003 2:16:30 PM PDT
by
.cnI redruM
(Nothing Is More Vile Than A Blowhard With Halitosis! - redruM)
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