US unveils new secret weapon

The Guardian (U.K.) ^ | 08/18/03 | Jamie Wilson

[Pokey78]

First they tried to bomb him, then they tried the offer of a reward. They even released images of what he might look like with no hair. But now the US army would appear to be getting desperate with its latest ploy to catch Saddam Hussein: pictures of the elusive dictator as Hollywood sex goddess.

In a scheme likely to raise as many laughs among Iraq's hardline Islamic clerics as Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses, troops of the 4th Infantry brigade in Tikrit are planning to put up pictures around the town of Saddam's face superimposed on the bodies of a busty Veronica Lake, a slinky Zsa Zsa Gabor, a grooving Elvis and British-born rocker Billy Idol.

The aim, apparently, is to so enrage Saddam's followers that they will draw themselves out.

"We're going to do something devious with these," Lieutenant-Colonel Steve Russell told Reuters, referring to a range of spoof Saddam pictures taken from the internet site www.worth1000.com.

"Most of the locals will love 'em and they'll be laughing. But the bad guys are going to be upset, which will just make it easier for us to know who they are."

Col Russell, of the 1st Battalion, 22nd Regiment of the 4th Infantry Division, told the news agency he hoped to have the posters slapped up on walls around Tikrit from today.

However his plans might be thwarted by superiors in Baghdad.

"I think a lot of local people might find that offensive," a spokeswoman in Baghdad said. "I'm going to call them [the 4th ID] now and try and find out what's going on."

[thoughtomator]

"Most of the locals will love 'em and they'll be laughing. But the bad guys are going to be upset, which will just make it easier for us to know who they are."

Outraged Hillary Clinton statement expected shortly!

[LibWhacker]

Can we do anything without telegraphing it a month in advance?

[GraniteStateConservative]

Certainly outside the box thinking. It's either really smart or really dumb.

[bd476]

It's a great idea, offensive to some, true, but he's not a religious leader and faked photos of him would be far more palatable than blasting 24 hour a day audio samplings from Yoko Ono's Greatest Hits, Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman," that wretched song from the 70s "Torn Between Two Lovers," Tiny Tim's "Tiptoe Through the Tulips," Slim Whitman's "Una Paloma Blanca," etc.

On second thought...

[Mr. Mojo]

Yoko Ono's Greatest Hits, Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman," that wretched song from the 70s "Torn Between Two Lovers," Tiny Tim's "Tiptoe Through the Tulips," Slim Whitman's "Una Paloma Blanca," etc.

Those are pretty offensive, but today I heard perhaps the most offensive thing of all --- Ozzy Osbourne "singing" Take Me Out to the Ballgame at Wrigley Field during the 7th inning stretch. Rosanne Barr singing the national anthem at a Padres game about a decade ago was even worse, come to think of it.

[null and void]

No, we can't...

[Jorge]

"Most of the locals will love 'em and they'll be laughing. But the bad guys are going to be upset, which will just make it easier for us to know who they are."

Right. We can't get thet bad guys by simply by hunting them down. So we resort to juvenile and unprofessional photos of Saddam in drag to "get them mad".
This is mega stupid.

[DonQ]

Is this a joke?? If the Army wastes its resources doing this, the end result is that a lot of people - inside and outside Iraq - will stop trusting the US photos that purport to prove that Saddam's sons are dead, etc.

The US Army has previously tried to offend "native sensibilities" - such as dropping miniature plastic silhouettes of women on the Vietcong - evidently inspired by some (truly ancient) bit of folklore that Vietnamese men have a superstition about seeing a woman early in the morning. You can see how successful that was.

If the Army wants to demonstrate it's losing patience, it might consider trampling on Moslem religious sensitivities. I'll bet a lot of Baathists would sell out Sadam, and their own mother, to avoid a prison menu consisting entirely of Spam and pork rinds.

[Scenic Sounds]

Certainly outside the box thinking. It's either really smart or really dumb.

LMAO! ;-)

[saquin]

Go here to see the pics:

http://www.worth1000.com/cache/contest/contestcache.asp?contest_id=819&display=photoshop

[MizSterious]

Aw shucks. Shoulda had at least one with him posing with Miss Piggy.

[Southack]

Baathists are secular, not religious, and certainly not what you would consider to be Muslim.

[bd476]

"Those are pretty offensive, but today I heard perhaps the most offensive thing of all --- Ozzy Osbourne "singing" Take Me Out to the Ballgame at Wrigley Field during the 7th inning stretch."

For sure, that's a big ear owwie.

"Rosanne Barr singing the national anthem at a Padres game about a decade ago was even worse, come to think of it."

Thanks, I just lost my appetite.

By the way, how did you find out we were having pizza tonight, Dr. Atkins?

[Erasmus]

[...]" Slim Whitman's "Una Paloma Blanca," etc.

On second thought...

it ought to make their heads explode.

[OrioleFan]

Una Paloma Blanca? Now you did it. That's one of the songs on Rush Limbaugh's list of greatest hits. He'll probably play it tomorrow just for us Freepers.

[bd476]

"Una Paloma Blanca? Now you did it. That's one of the songs on Rush Limbaugh's list of greatest hits. He'll probably play it tomorrow just for us Freepers."

(blushing...) Wow, Rush? Oh, that would be so cool.

(begin daydream Walter Mitty style... gee, wonder if Rush would give me credit... "bd476 on FreeRepublic impresses internationally renowned talk radio star with bd476' brilliant talent as a writer that Rush Limbaugh himself offers bd476 a writing/producing job..." / end Walter Mitty style daydream)

[OrioleFan]

Rush uses it for one of his update theme songs. Can't remember which one - I don't get to listen at work any more.

[E. Pluribus Unum]

"I think a lot of local people might find that offensive.."

More offensive than cruise missiles and bunker-busters?