Entering the belly of The BEAST. My day with Hillary

I had the supreme opportunity to meet Hillary Rottenbottom at Miejer's Thrifty Acres, in Auburn Hills, Michigan.

I arrived around 10:30 am, for her 11:00 am book signing. The parking lot was packed.

I went into the store and was confronted by a sea of overweight housewives in white T shirts and shorts. You would have thought that this was an e-ticket ride for DisneyWorld. Fanny packs abound.

The line wound around the perimeter of the store. Hundreds upon hundreds of clones. All so very excited. They were there to meet their Queen.

I knew I had a long wait, and I was thinking of ditching the scene, because I was in heels, and I didn't feel like standing there for 2 hours just to meet her hieniousness.

Suddenly a dear friend of mine who is the camerman for a news station saw me in line, and asked what in the world I was doing there. I told him that I was up to shenanigans, and he told me to come with him, and pulled me out of line. He took me up near the front and placed me in line. I was about 25 people back from the Throne Of Hillary.

As I was waiting, I just stood and listened to the lobotomized clones around me. They could barely contain their glee. " Hillary is so wonderful. She will be our greatest president"." She is the best wife and mother"........

And don't even get me started about the wimpy men that were in line. It was mostly women, but there were a couple of husbands, probably because their wives were too overwrought with emotion to drive themselves to the Thrifty Acres.

Suddenly, with a smidgen of fanfare, from the bowells of hell, appears Hillary!. I called an audible. I said " Oh lord, she has a soccer ball in there". Oops, I didn't know I said that out loud. Silly me.

Yes indeed folks, Hillary, looking ever so hideous in a fuschia jacket, black trousers, and black sensible shoes, actually looks like she has a soccerball in her belly. Maybe it's a tumor, heck if I know, but there is something there. Hey, maybe it's a fannypack!

Today was obviously not a 'bath day' for the old gal. Her hair was undone, no makeup, no lipstick, but she did have earrings.

As we got closer, women around me started crying. Yes, you read that right, they were CRYING! They couldn't wait to meet Hillary. I honestly thought that some of them would pass out and die on the spot. It was from either too much excitement, or the copious amount of doughnuts that they had consumed over their lifetime.

There was an elderly lady in front of me that asked me for support. She felt faint from all the excitement.

..............as a small aside, Hillary is fuzzy. Remember those soaps you had as a kid, you got them wet and in a few days they grew fuz? Hillary has a very fuzzy face. And it's very round. Pumpkin round. Fuzzy and round and falling. Gravity is not being kind. ..........

She kibbitzed with Hillary about how proud she was of her and how she will be a great president. Hillary shook her head, signed the books that were being shoved in front of her, and then came me.

I was in orange and fuschia in the sea of white T shirts and Hillary buttons. Hillary was signing away and I said " Who's on the cover of your book?"

If only she knew that the one questioning her was actually her nemesis...Hillary's Lovely Legs.

Suddenly a vice-like grip was on my left arm, and I was pulled away from Hillary. They handed me my book, and I was on my way.

My cameraman friend said he got it on tape and hopes he can use it, but he wanted to know what in the world I said to her to make her use her " GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE face".

My silly friend, he thought I was serious. I told him what I really said and he laughed. I hope to get a copy of the tape. It will be priceless.

So I left the Thrifty Acres among the clones clutching their precious books with tears in their eyes, and as I was exiting, I came across the Hillary Rodham Clinton Support Group.

This is an organization of old bitties from Ann Arbor. They all had on matching T-Shirts with a big photo of Hillary on it. They carried signs that said " Hillary" and matching sun visors. They were going to go in for a private meeting with Hillary and a photo session. They have been so supportive of her, she had been through so much and is such a wonderful woman. ( oh spare me)

So that's it. I entered the belly of the beast and got to see old fuzzy face and survived.

I found it:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/963684/posts?q=1&&page=51

Plain Dealer report:

Hillary Rodham Clinton was not openly campaigning last night in Cleveland's Shaker Square.

Instead, a lot of people were doing it for her, wearing "Hillary for President" buttons, cheering "Hillary in 2008" and signing up for Clinton booster groups at Joseph-Beth Booksellers, where the former first lady drew a crowd of about 2,000 for a book-signing of her recently published autobiography, "Living History."

Clinton, now a Democratic U.S. senator from New York, made an entrance by descending from the store's second floor to the first in a glass elevator to the delighted screams of onlookers who had begun gathering about 3 p.m., two hours before the signing actually began.

She waved to the crowd, posed for pictures with her book and immediately set about signing 1,000 copies of it for purchasers who had been given tickets to the signing by the store starting in June.

"Living History" already has made history by becoming the fastest-selling work of nonfiction ever.

First in line was a beaming Gladys Thomas, 64, of Shaker Heights. Earlier, while waiting for the queue to form, Thomas had expressed her unhappiness with President Bush. She said one of the reasons she came to get her book signed was her hope that Sen. Clinton would beat Bush in the upcoming presidential race.

"If anybody's gonna do it, it would be her," Thomas said.

Jean Joseph, 79, who lives in Shaker Square, agreed. Joseph, a native of Martha's Vineyard, where the Clintons often vacation, said: "I think she's fabulous, and the book's fabulous. I have a lot of admiration for the kind of human being she is. I even like Bill."

After Clinton signed her book, Joseph said she had told the senator that she had delayed a vacation trip to Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts by a day so she could attend the signing.

While Clinton smiled, greeted people and wrote her name hundreds of times, local supporters Lana Moresky and Roberta Feinstein were in the store lobby, handing out forms to people interested in signing up for a Clinton support group.

"I'm doing this on my own because I couldn't let this opportunity go by," Moresky said, showing a bunch of already-filled-out forms.

Demand for the forms was so great, Feinstein added, "They're ripping it out of my hand."

But the opposition was there, too. A few protesters stood across the street from the store, bearing anti-abortion and anti-Hillary posters. One, scribbled in black marker, read, "I would have made a good sign for Monica."

One group of protesters had been brought together through Freerepublic.com, a politically conservative Web site. They took issue with Clinton's politics and what they called her untruthfulness.

"A better title for her book would be 'Omitting History,' " said Tom Adams of Wadsworth, who was part of the Freerepublic.com group.

Protesters and fans alike remained peaceful throughout the afternoon and evening. Secret Service and Cleveland police had secured the back half of the Joseph-Beth building hours earlier, and the book-signing line moved efficiently through the densely peopled store to the rear, where television crews and reporters squeezed in to record Clinton scribbling and chatting with the mostly female crowd.

She had a big smile and hello for everyone, but especially for the children who walked through with their parents.

"What a pretty dress," she said to a little girl in a long gold and black velvet gown. The child said her name was Chelsea, like Clinton's daughter. "You're kidding!" Clinton said. "How do you spell it?"

By 7:15 p.m., Clinton had signed her last book, posed with the Joseph-Beth staff for souvenir pictures and bought some summer reading on her way out of the store. Her appearance was the largest gathering for an author that the store had ever hosted, said Joseph-Beth spokeswoman Stephanie Siegel.

Clinton press secretary Philippe Reines said the senator was heading to a local fund-raiser and then home to New York last night after a book tour that had taken her to Minneapolis, Kansas City, St. Louis, Atlanta and Detroit before coming to Cleveland.

96 posted on 08/14/2003 7:18 AM PDT by mountaineer [ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 88 | View Replies | Report Abuse ]

Nauseating....

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