Posted on 08/13/2003 9:40:36 AM PDT by ddodd3329
Why do fewer people marry?
According to a 1999 National Vital Statistics Report from the CDC, 7.4 per 1,000 Americans married in 1998. From 1990 to 1995, the marriage rate dropped from 9.8 to 7.6. Different sources render other statistics but the trend remains sharply downward.
There is never a single or comprehensive explanation for complex phenomena that are rooted deeply in human psychology. Non-marriage is a particularly difficult issue to address because, as a recent paper from Rutgers University entitled "Why Men Won't Commit" explains, official sources are scarce. "The federal government issues thousands of reports on nearly every dimension of American life. ... But it provides no annual index or report on the state of marriage." Much of the discussion of the motives surrounding non-marriage must be anecdotal, therefore, relying on statistics to provide framework and perspective.
In examining reasons for the current decline of marriage, one question usually receives short shrift. Why are men reluctant to marry?
The Rutgers report -- admittedly based on a small sample -- found ten prevalent reasons. The first three:
They can get sex without marriage;
They can enjoy "a wife" through cohabitation; and,
They want to avoid divorce and its financial risks.
As a critic of anti-male bias in the family courts, the reasons I hear most frequently from non-marrying men are fear of financial devastation in divorce and of losing meaningful contact with children afterward. (Such feedback is anecdotal evidence but, when you hear the same response over a period of years from several hundred different sources, it becomes prudent to listen.)
In a similar vein, the Rutgers report finds: "Many men also fear the financial consequences of divorce. They say that their financial assets are better protected if they cohabit rather than marry. They fear that an ex-wife will 'take you for all you've got' and that 'men have more to lose financially than women' from a divorce."
Increasingly, men are stating their reasons for not marrying on the Internet. In an article entitled "The Marriage Strike," Matthew Weeks expresses a sentiment common to such sites, "If we accept the old feminist argument that marriage is slavery for women, then it is undeniable that -- given the current state of the nation's family courts -- divorce is slavery for men."
Weeks provides the math. One in two marriages will fail with the wife being twice as likely to initiate the proceedings on grounds of "general discontent" -- the minimum requirement of no-fault divorce. The odds of the woman receiving custody of children are overwhelming, with many fathers effectively being denied visitation. The wife usually keeps the "family" assets and, perhaps, receives alimony as well as child support. Many men confront continuing poverty to pay for the former marriage.
>>>Continued<<<
(Excerpt) Read more at dondodd.com ...
That is definitely it for me.
Even then, you are taking your chances. Seriously.
Paternalistic, "old-school" judges and legislators hearkened back to a time when women needed to be protected from the rougher element. When the radical feminists came along with their anti-male legislation and lawsuits, these old codgers were easily fooled into thinking they were somehow protecting female virtue by doing the feminists' bidding. Now, those old guys are not around to correct their mistakes, having been replaced by young leftists with an interest in maintaining the new status quo.
It's going to be tough to reverse without a second American Revolution.
So my friends and I have a solution to this (we are in our early/mid-20's). We are all dating men who are roughly 10 years older than we are. By that time they've finally grown up, they're financially stable, and they're looking to settle down. They are the ones trying to hurry through courtship to marriage. It's quite nice after dating 25 year old men who couldn't plan by Wednesday for Saturday night.
That bad?
Why mess with cows when calves are cheaper?
You know why older men date young girls? Because they can.
I'm just happy I got out largely unscathed, due to fortuitous circumstances and fortunate timing.
Millionaire's double life stuns family, community
While their wives drove Rolls-Royces and moved among Tampa's elite, Douglas Cone and Donald Carlson always seemed busy with business.
Carlson was also frequently away from home — an absence his family attributed to a sensitive government job that required him to travel for long stretches.
But those business trips masked a shocking secret: Douglas Cone was Donald Carlson. Cone lived a secret double life for nearly 30 years, raising two affluent families in lavish homes 20 miles apart — one with his wife of 52 years and the other with a former employee.
By all accounts, Jean Ann Cone never suspected her husband was using an alias to carry on a relationship with Hillary Carlson, 18 years her junior. He fathered three children with his wife and two with Carlson.
The double life unraveled this spring only after Jean Ann Cone died at 75 and Cone married Hillary Carlson two weeks later. Friends said they learned of his new marriage in Sumter County, about an hour north of Tampa, when the local newspaper printed a listing of local marriages.
The kids are her flesh and blood, but husband is just some guy she met at a party who now works to support her family.
[Maggie Gallagher, The Abolition of Marriage: How We Destroy Lasting Love, Washington, DC: Regnery, 1996, who cites Frank F. Furstenberg, Jr. and Andrew J. Cherlin, Divided Families: What Happens to Children When Parents Part, Harvard University Press, 1991, p. 22. Ilene Wolcott and Jody Hughes,& "Towards Understanding the Reasons for Divorce,"
And the man stands to lose his children, 50% of his assets, and be relegated to "obligor" status by the anti-father "family" court system - at the sole discretion of a single judge. No proof is needed to pass summary judgement that dad is: inferior, unnecessary (except as an obligor), and a deadbeat (ahhh- the humiliation of having your wages garnished).
Equal protection under the law? Yeah, right.
I see friends of mine living this same hell, day after day. Marriage? Might as well play Russian Roulette with 3 bullets in the revolver.
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