ZZzzzzot!! helo Free Republic

scani

[scani]

Helo Free Republic. Friends say I should write here to bring truth. Many things say no truth. Clinton is loved by friends and all. Bush makes president no good. Economic is bad all place by Bush. War is no good. Bush cause war no good. Why like this? Why think good. Make back Clinton to bring money and peace.

[mewzilla]

=80 Oh, jeez...There goes my dinner...

[Jeff Gordon]

And you have the worst language skills I have ever seen.

The gentleman sounds very Arab.

[wimpycat]

That is so freakin' hilarious....thanks!

[PatrioticAmerican]

Kan iz ax yu ah kestion? didya hang at pubric schcrewel?

[Noumenon]

From an old Onion article...

Enjoy being battery! Enjoy providing power for! Nine volts power! Last very long! Keep providing power until die! Give power and power and more power until cannot give power anymore! Enjoy very much giving power!

How can be of service? Power clock radio? Will enjoy powering clock radio for! Power smoke alarm? Relish opportunity to power smoke alarm for! Can power small servo-motor also! Can power any device accommodating nine-volt battery! (Am nine-volt battery! Enjoy being nine-volt battery!) For any device at all, enjoy giving self for power!

Simply need external circuit! Then can provide electricity! Can provide electricity until death! Enjoy hooking external circuit up to! Enjoy surge of power through small rectangular body! Enjoy chemical reaction take place when circuit completed between two electrodes at tip! Enjoy providing this service! Want power hand-held video game!

Enjoy storing chemical energy! Enjoy converting chemical energy into electric energy! Am here to serve... with power! Enjoy providing direct-current electric power very much! Very, very much!

Last very long! Last until all chemicals used up! Last until shell filled with only waste! Last at full nine-volt strength until can last no more! Will enjoy giving power fully until cannot give power anymore! Last long time for you!

Will be pleased to be unhooked from one device and re-hooked to another! Happy to change! Will not enjoy being put away in cupboard, though. Will not enjoy sitting on shelf, awaiting next opportunity to give power. Enjoy giving power now! Want always to be giving power!

Am nine volts of pure, electric power! Cannot give 10 volts. Would not dream never to give only eight. Will give nine full volts until death! Will power children's toys! Will power Dirt Devils! Will power model race cars! Will power small explosive timers for terrorists! Will not make judgment about how power used! Simply provide power! Do proudly! Do with enthusiasm!

Enjoy telling world of thoughts! Enjoy sharing excitement for giving power! Enjoy... being... enthusiastic... for...

Am... losing... power... Dying! Have... enjoyed... using... power... to... write... column... Proud... to... die.... Enj...

Enjoyed... being... bat... te... ry...

[Not A Snowbird]

Say what?

[humblegunner]

Last very long! Last until all chemicals used up! Last until shell filled with only waste!

Ahh, the 80's..

[TheSpottedOwl]

Yeah I've seen the Viking Kitties :) My son now wants to buy some Led Zepelin cd's...

[chance33_98]

My name's Forrest, Forrest Gump.

[A CA Guy]

Try again with a schizophrenia translation.

[Constitution Day]

Anytime my friend!

[BlueLancer]

I'm awake, but not alive ...

Yo, Dighton ... I would have guessed this was Oxi-Nato in another guise, except there aren't enough exclamation points in the text.

[4mycountry]

Idiot.

Hey, Zav! I'm REALLY late for the party, aren't I? ;)

[bedolido]

Hellary in a thong doesn't scare you? You're a braver man then I, Gunga Din!

[bedolido]

That stuff is great... "None of us is as dumb as all of us!"

[Constitution Day]

I think this one is my favorite:

[bedolido]

Now I have to change my tag line again!!! That is great. Thanks for the heads-up.

[Txslady]

LOL good one!

[bedolido]

lmao... thanks, makes "Hump" day even better (for non-boomers that means Wednesday... not getting lucky)

[xp38]

I like this one