Posted on 09/23/2002 4:11:58 PM PDT by KMC1
"Oh just go listen to her Kevin, give her chance," came the considerable urging of my friends.
So Saturday night, there I am, finding myself winding the back roads of Rosemont, Illinois, trying to get to "the event" for the weekend - Amy Grant and Vince Gill live in concert. Arriving just on time, getting to my seat which was about 18 rows back center stage, I had just enough time left to say "Hi" to a few friends sitting nearby. One of whom could not resist.
"Kev! Surprised to see you here!"
"Well, hey, the opening act looks good, and we'll see what happens," was about the only response I could muster up.
Okay, a little history for you.
Amy Grant has been doing "Christian" music for over eighteen years. Throughout her early days I became a fan and faithfully bought every record/tape/cd she made. At a previous station where I worked, co-workers regularly tried to "stump" me by seeing if I knew a vague line of lyric from one of her albums. I was seldom stumped. As a young man, wanting to put positive messages into my brain I found Christian music to be the kind of reinforcement I needed to my choices. Amy's music was positive, fun, and upbeat. She literally "began" an entire genre of commercially-successful music, and many Christian musicians since owe their commercial success to the lady that really did make it popular.
Amy Grant enjoyed a parallel stream of success in pop music as well. Some of her songs centering more around the idea of positive relationships were added to pop radio's playlists and soon Amy stood on a platform amongst Christian recording artists that was truly head and shoulders above all others.
Many conservative-minded people were the ones buying Christian music, Grant's included, and as the eighties gave way to the nineties, conservatives, and people of faith made Christian music the fastest growing music in terms of sales increases and in new radio formats hitting the dial. The term "CCM" (Contemporary Christian Music) became a more regularly known term and the groups in CCM (Michael W. Smith, D.C. Talk, Jars Of Clay) became stars.
Through it all no one benefitted more than the lady who was already sitting atop the heap.
In the nineties there were troubles for Grant as well. Her longtime marriage to the man who wrote her very first number one song, Gary Chapman, was shaky. Her independence, wealth, and lack of accountability did not really create for her any need to try and salvage the marriage. The marriage was dissolved and Christian music's number one star, and someone who had avoided the ugly headlines that two other troubled Christian music artists, Sandi Patti and Michael English, had lived through seemed to be at peace with herself, and the world around her.
But over time - the truth was known.
Amy had soon married country crooner Vince Gill. Amy and Vince as far back as the early days of the nineties had become friends, but as her own music betrayed her. The two were soon "deeply in love."
I remember being a music director at a radio station when her single came out titled, "It Takes A Little Time". Having been tipped off as to the "close friendship" that Amy and Vince were experiencing, having seen her credit him on the CD's credits - with no mention to her husband, and after listening to the lyrics of that song - which should never have been released to Christian stations - made it all too clear. Amy Grant was experiencing a marriage that was dying, and it was dying in part because of her refusal to give up an illicit relationship, a relationship strictly forbidden by the faith that she had proclaimed from the stage for so many years.
And let me be really clear here - by sleeping with someone who is not your husband, and in fact, when that person you are sleeping with is actually someone else's husband - YOU are jeopardizing the health and stability of not one, but two families.
In her own song, "Love Will Find a Way," Grant wrote the lyrics for a woman responding to a letter concerning marital infidelity.
As Amy came out on the stage at the concert Saturday night here in suburban Chicago she did lots of her old songs. Sometimes I would catch myself reliving moments and places in my life based on what song she was singing.
She did the song "It Takes A Little Time", and like a knife through my heart - I was back in my old office holding that CD for the first time and with some fairly horrific feelings inside.
People of faith and conservatives in particular were outraged when a nation's president would let an ogling intern give him unspoken pleasures. People of faith criticized Hillary for allowing his philandering to continue. People of faith were further outraged when that President lied to cover it up.
People of faith, and yes even conservatives were some of the 49 people lined up outside the Mishawaka, Indiana, police station as Madelyne Toogood was brought in for beating her four year old daughter Martha - and getting caught on video tape. In one interview the lady waiting for the car carrying Toogood to arrive said, "I just want to give her a piece of my mind for treating her kid like that."
People of faith sometimes wonder why an outside world looks at them as though they are hypocritical. Well let's remove the "wondering" from the scenario. Others look at people of faith as hypocrites because while President Clinton is booed for engaging in illicit and immoral behavior (as he should be), people of faith were by the thousands filling seats in Suburban Chicago Saturday night applauding Amy as she raved about what a "good" man Vince Gill was. People of faith are seen as double minded when we condemn Madelyne Toogood for slapping her kid around in the car - and say nothing when the children of one marriage must now be split between 3 or more homes.
People of faith get pummeled because we have yet to step up to the plate.
Or then again, have we?
I left the Grant concert early to avoid anymore of Ms. Grant's glib comments about her formerly adulterous husband who is now a "good" man.
I got home just in time to see Miss Illinois Erika Harold be named Miss America 2003 on national TV. Throughout her pageant life Erika Harold has been an unashamed Christian who encourages young people to live moral lives. Erika through her own example, encourages kids to abstain from sexual activity until marriage, and once married to live monogamously for life (note to Ms. Grant).
Erika Harold genuinely lives out of her faith. The new Miss America says she hopes to run for office someday. I hope she does.
In my opinion, it is time to replace high profile personalities who have an obligation to live morally - and that goes for politicians, as well as singers.
And did I mention that Miss America sings, too?
Of course none of us are perfect, but God also calls us to a certain standard of morality.
There are only a few exceptions for divorce and remarriage in the Bible, and "it just didn't work out" and "I fell in love with someone else" aren't listed.
In fairness, there WAS A TIME when Christian pop-metal Bands put out music every bit as cool as Black Sabbath's "War Pigs". (Which is sayin' something -- a lot, in fact)
The time was twenty years ago, and the band (who were distinctly referring to themselves as a "christian band" at the time, what with the success of Stryper and all) was the Irish Catholic band U2.
Now, you may object, that U2 has not called themselves a "christian" Band in the last 20 years. I would point out, however, that U2 has not put out a stitch of plausibly Good Music in the last 20 years!!
Coincidence? You be the judge.
But both "Christian" and "Secular" Music has been an absolute spiritual wasteland for at least the last Ten Years.... and of that, I'll be the judge.
best, OP
I was just sent the Dischord 20th anniversary box set.
I'm officially old.
..well good old Vince, good old Christian Vince of the now AMy and Vince matchup.
..well, good old Vince decided to show so much respect for my little American city that he just had to go carousing at the local, sleezy strip bar, one so special that a man got shot there just a year or two earlier....
I lost my respect for good old Vince then...its one thing to carouse in your own town but to come and make a scene in other people's cities or towns is a bit conceited to me...
I would love to ask good old Vince back again, and maybe he can take Amy and his dtr to the strip bar with him....
You mean they would've reacted like Nathan?
"Thou art the man." (Hint: he wasn't saying "you da man!")
Wow, talk about honest!
My wife went to school and attended church with Amy while she was at Vanderbilt and they were on a first name basis. Our first date was going to a Amy Grant concert, and we had just abut all of her albums.
Amy's divorce was a terribly sad thing as are all divorces, but Amy's was one a lot of people saw coming. I think her song Baby Baby was when we really felt like something bad was happening.
I guess people can make up any excuse they want in order to get divorced, but for most part it comes down to standing by the commitment you make to each other and God.
I grew up in a Catholic family and my parents fought terribly with one another. It was pretty frightening at times, but in the end my Dad never cheated in spite of all the travel he did and my mother always stood beside him in the darkest moments. Divorce was just simply never a word that was ever used in their house.
My wife and I have certainly had tough arguments but in the end I decide that I love her and then I simply remember the way I felt when I first met. I then sit her down, remove her shoes and give her a foot rub. That is the end of the battle, I serve her out of love and she tells me what a great husband I am out of respect. Wives want to be loved and husbands want to be respected.
I am again sorry Amy went through with her divorce the emotional and spiritual scars on her, her ex husband and most of all their children can never be taken away and she will have to live with that.
We have never bought another Amy Grant album and ones we lose will not and have not be replaced, she made her choice and we have made ours. Amy made a descion not support what we believe so I do not feel obligated to support her in what she believes and I don't think we are alone in this type of response.
Regards,
Boiler Plate
Amen to that. Kind of like junk food.
Sorry, but most wounds in life are self-inflicted. I know far too many people who see only one side of a person and ignore the things they don't like. Love multiplies this partial vision. Then, ten years later, when the guy or gal they married isn't as handsome or exciting or [fill in superficial quality here] as they used to be, and all of the negative quilities that were there all along have become impossible to ignore, these short-sighted lovers want my sympathy. Sorry, love doesn't have to be blind...
It is my understanding that adultery is the only "escape clause" mentioned in the Bible to justify divorce of a marriage joined before God. That is a very difficult thing for Americans to accept in today's society and is frequently rejected as too narrow and archaic.
In my view, we Americans have too often placed our own personal pleasure on the highest altar, equating personal pleasure with happiness. Ironically, a lot of suffering rides along with that pursuit of pleasure.
One side note here --- don't make the common mistake of equating forgiveness with a pardon (i.e. stripping away all the consequences).
As a simple example of this - suppose my young ones do something that not only breaks the rules, but makes me angry as well. When I later forgive, I will no longer be angry. But that doesn't mean that consequences will no longer be enforced. (That can be hard for them to fathom - the fact that I've apologized for yelling at them, but still insist on grounding them for their infractions!)
The fact that God can forgive us but still enforce consequences for sin is a concept that many/most Christians have a hard time wrapping their mind around as well.
In the case of Amy/Vince, I can totally understand any Christian who decides to stop buying their music out of feelings of sorrow and of a desire to only bring good role models (for their kids) into their homes. Now, if the motivation to stop buying those CD's was purely out of anger, then you WOULD likely be correct in criticizing them for "not forgiving," as you have done here. But it's not clear to me from their postings just what their motivation might be. Are you quite certain you know?
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