Posted on 12/23/2001 11:58:34 AM PST by grumpster-dumpster
For many single adults, the Christmas Season is a personally uncomfortable time of the year. The loneliness factor seems to grow by leaps and bounds all the gift giving and Holiday Spirit and the general party mood can actually be quite overwhelming to the singe adult.
Now, normally I try to view life with a non-serious eye. I think its better to laugh at folly than be trampled by it. But this year was somewhat different This year I discovered an active resistance to organizing a get-together for adults to share Christmas in a non-threatening, casual environment Just a nice party where single Christians could all meet and socialize maybe have a pot-luck, BYOB, hire a DJ and exchange small (under $5) gifts to one another on Christmas afternoon.
Its absolutely unbelievable the amount of non-cooperation I received from the churches in my area. (Im Catholic but my idea was for a non-denominational event.)
- The Baptists said they couldnt be part of any event where liquor was allowed besides they had already invited the single members to share Christmas day with other families (Just what a single wants to do sit around and watch someone elses kids open presents.)
- The Methodists said they already hold an event for the singles turns out to be a youth-group function (Just what a single adult wants to do sit around with a 20 year-old discussing his/her weighty insights into life.)
- The Lutherans hold a prayer/home-alone dinner with assistance from the Youth-Group so no booze allowed. (Another winner for the single adult lets toast good-cheer with Dr. Pepper.)
- The Catholic Church said : It will interfere with the Bishops dinner he holds every year for people alone. I learned that this dinner is for the poor (meaning bums in the area). Undaunted, I tried to volunteer to help out at the event but was told the volunteers would be high-school kids (I was in high-school 30 years ago so I didnt make the cut.)
Now dont get me wrong Im not complaining about these churches trying to help out needy families, kids, the homeless, or whatever by having their own programs at Christmas and throughout the year God bless them for their outpouring of love and generosity!
But; I am complaining about the way Churches treat single adults
Look, were not asking for money, or sympathy, or even for a free meal
but do you have to reject our willingness to volunteer and help out (Just try to be a single adult man and ask Mrs. Goodness N. Sweetness what you can bring to the pot-luck! Shell probably tell you either Nothing! Just Yourself. Or worse; Oh, just bring some soda or ice, maybe a bag of chips
Anything that will make you feel like your part of the family
which your not, of course
)
Cant we just get an unused room to hold a get-together? And would it be too much trouble to spread-the-word about this event to the single adults in the congregation?
This is an open invitation for Single, Divorced, or Widowed Freepers, who are spending the Holidays alone to comment. What are your plans? Why arent you doing anything or what are you going to do? Are you looking forward to Christmas and New Years day with the family? Would you prefer to be doing something else? Do your churches hold any events for single adults? Do your suggestions or initiatives get rejected by your church?
I would really like to know I there are any of you out there who are just as frustrated at the lip-service singles get especially at this time of the year!
In all sincerity (really!): I wish each of you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
1) There's no football to watch.
2) It's personal. There's no group identity here.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
LOL!! This is the "Jesus turned water into grape juice" crowd. And the funny part is, they actually believe they are the most Biblical Christians around.
Keep the thread going if you want...but I can't be here all night to reply...and one of the ony things I take seriously here at FR is the idea of someone walking away from a thread they have started!
A Very Merry Christmas to one and all!
- grumpster "Tiny Tim" (in the Charles Dickens sense, not the hippy)-dumpster
LOL! That's too bad. At my parish, our nun buys a *keg* for after Holy Saturday Mass, and we party! Even our "single neighborhood churches" thoughout our parish get together for wine tasting parties at each other's houses. As for this Christmas,(as with the last 10) I head back to So. Cal to spend Christmas with the family. Nice thing, is that it allows me to see friends I left there, so I guess I have the best of both ways.
Nonetheless, have a very Merry Christmas G-D!
As for being single on holidays in church settings, some churches I've been in try to make sure everyone has people to be with so I've spent some holidays with families where I only knew one or two people in the place. I've also been in other churches that had a lot of singles and/or people who lived away from their families and sometimes we'd just plan to get together and potluck, etc.
Amen to that. I just reprised Slapshot two
days ago. By the way, I would add
Andrew Dice Clay on Laserdisc 24 hours a day.
OK you convinced me! I'm moving to AZ! Just tell me what parish and the start times and I'll load up the truck!
Have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year!
The Story of the Christmas Guest
By Helen Steiner Rice
It happened one day at the year's white end,
Two neighbors called on an old-time friend
And they found his shop so meager and mean,
Made gay with a thousand boughs of green,
And Conrad was sitting with face a-shine
When he suddenly stopped as he stitched a twine
And said, "Old friends, at dawn today,
When the cock was crowing the night away,
The Lord appeared in a dream to me
And said, 'I am coming your guest to be'.
So I've been busy with feet astir,
Strewing my shop with branches of fir,
The table is spread and the kettle is shined
And over the rafters the holly is twined,
And now I will wait for my Lord to appear
And listen closely so I will hear
His step as He nears my humble place,
And I open the door and look in His face. . ."
So his friends went home and left Conrad alone,
For this was the happiest day he had known,
For, long since, his family had passed away
And Conrad has spent a sad Christmas Day.
But he knew with the Lord as his Christmas guest
This Christmas would be the dearest and best,
And he listened with only joy in his heart.
And with every sound he would rise with a start
And look for the Lord to be standing there
In answer to his earnest prayer
So he ran to the window after hearing a sound,
But all that he saw on the snow-covered ground
Was a shabby beggar whose shoes were torn
And all of his clothes were ragged and worn.
So Conrad was touched and went to the door
And he said, "Your feet must be frozen and sore,
And I have some shoes in my shop for you
And a coat that will keep you warmer, too."
So with grateful heart the man went away,
But as Conrad noticed the time of day
He wondered what made the dear Lord so late
And how much longer he'd have to wait,
When he heard a knock and ran to the door,
But it was only a stranger once more,
A bent, old crone with a shawl of black,
A bundle of faggots piled on her back.
She asked for only a place to rest,
But that was reserved for Conrad's Great Guest.
But her voice seemed to plead, "Don't send me away
Let me rest awhile on Christmas Day."
So Conrad brewed her a steaming cup
And told her to sit at the table and sup.
But after she left he was filled with dismay
For he saw that the hours were passing away
And the Lord had not come as He said He would,
And Conrad felt sure he had misunderstood.
When out of the stillness he heard a cry,
"Please help me and tell me where am I."
So again he opened his friendly door
And stood disappointed as twice before,
It was only a child who had wandered away
And was lost from her family on Christmas Day...
Again Conrad's heart was heavy and sad,
But he knew he should make this little child glad,
So he called her in and wiped her tears
And quieted her childish fears.
Then he led her back to her home once more
But as he entered his own darkened door,
He knew that the Lord was not coming today
For the hours of Christmas had passed away.
So he went to his room and knelt down to pray
And he said, "Dear Lord, why did you delay,
What kept You from coming to call on me,
For I wanted so much Your face to see. . ."
When soft in the silence a voice he heard,
"Lift up your head for I kept My word--
Three times My shadow crossed your floor--
Three times I came to your lonely door--
For I was the beggar with bruised, cold feet,
I was the woman you gave to eat,
And I was the child on the homeless street."
As for me, I am the most optimistic person you will ever meet. I am having a great time this year. Not having to deal with a pesimistic and negative wife with a screwed up set of in-laws does have its advantages, plus I will be attending 5-6 Christian singles dances over the holidays. In short, despite the fact that things could always be better; I am having a blast!!! The happiest I've been in many, many years.
On top of that, my younger son is an airline pilot and I think I will be able to attend the 2002 C-PAC convention and not have to spend more than $500 for the entire trip from the west coast. Who knows whom I might meet; there may even be some single conservative 'babes', but aren't they all?
Good idea. Where do you live? ;-)
You can stay out as long as you want. You can go wherever you want, and do whatever you want.
You can leave books and magazines about guns, cars, and beer sitting out on the kitchen table. You're never expected to behave. You can keep "Animal House", "Slapshot", and "The Life of Brian" on continuous replay on the DVD player.
You can wait 'til morning -or the day after- to pitch the empty pizza box and beer cans. You don't have to hear "Your friends are morons..." every time they come over. You never have to go to the mall (I think that should count as 2 or 3 points).
You can walk around in your boxers all day. You can pick your nose and actually take the time to inspect your boogies. You can go a whole day without the phone being used. Your diet need only consist of ramen noodles and Guinness. You don't have to remember any dates.
And the problem is...?
That I've done all that already till I got sick of it and now I want something different.
I get to spend the holidays with my family and friends as much as I want to and then when I go home I can relax and enjoy the remaining holidays by myself.
Get a Pet. They're much better company on a relaxing day off work when you truely want to do NOTHING.
Single events are nothing more than support groups sometimes that you end up telling your sad stories to and only gets you feeling worse about yourself or your situation. Some people I think want to feel sad or think they should feel sad if they're alone but you shouldn't. Be thankful you're here and enjoy yourself.
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