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Hijackers Suprised to Find Selves In Hell
The Onion ^
| 09/26/2001
| The Onion
Posted on 09/25/2001 6:56:35 PM PDT by TrappedInLiberalHell
click here to read article
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Comment #81 Removed by Moderator
To: one_particular_harbour
ROTFL. I love The Onion. The only write ups I know that are as warped as I am.
To: TrappedInLiberalHell
And not a virgin in sight....bummer.....
To: Don Myers
Not so....All the women here are chaste and as pure as the driven snow....
84
posted on
09/26/2001 10:55:30 AM PDT
by
hobbes1
To: GretchenEE
"do the virgins revirginate...?"
Ah, now that's the question. There is so much left unstated. Having learned about the need to parse language from our former president Bill Clinton, let's examine the possibilities.
1) It's not a different set of virgins for each Jihader. No, they "share" the same set of "recycled" virgins. We would have a different term for a "recycled" virgin, but the term "virgin" is technically correct because each is a "native" virgin in that each was born virgin.
2) There is a reason why they are still virgins. No one ever said how old they are, what they look like, or even their sex! Someone mentioned "virgin camels." Could be.
Now, this outcome is most deceptive and constitutes a definite failure of consideration. But how are you going to get justice in hell? And if by some chance you don't wind up in hell, how are you going to find yourself a good lawyer?
85
posted on
09/26/2001 11:21:17 AM PDT
by
Iwo Jima
To: spectre
Yep, it never fails. Satan is the master of deception...and he lied to them.Yes, this is true. The article may be a bit of a spoof, but, it is true, these dirt bags are surely in Hell, awaiting their consignment to the lake of fire, as mentioned in the book of Revalation. There won't be a whole lot of celebrating for them in that awful place, and no honey eyed virgins, either.
86
posted on
09/26/2001 11:28:29 AM PDT
by
Mark17
To: Travis McGee
LOL. Nice humor break. I liked the line "But to endure that while watching the righteous drink from a river of wine? That can't be fun." LOL.
87
posted on
09/26/2001 12:55:17 PM PDT
by
patent
To: Iwo Jima
Enjoyed your response at #85. =)
To: GretchenEE
Thank you. I used your comments as the "muse" for my creative efforts.
89
posted on
09/26/2001 4:37:38 PM PDT
by
Iwo Jima
To: TrappedInLiberalHell
YES!!!
To: hobbes1
"Not so....All the women here are chaste and as pure as the driven snow.... "
Row, row, row your boat gently up the stream, ,merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream....
To: winged1
Not to mention sales of his company's Iridium Satelite Phones.
92
posted on
09/26/2001 8:52:38 PM PDT
by
chantal7
To: boycott
"Salmon Rushdie was right." Hey!!!! Do you know how long it took me to get that repetitious and insane ditty out of my head??
Jeeeze!!
"If you want to live, first you have to die." From Satanic Verses by Salmon Rushdie. (Actually, I should say paraphrased since I read the book years ago and might have it a tad off.)
grrrrrrrr
j/k ;P
93
posted on
09/26/2001 9:16:57 PM PDT
by
chantal7
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