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Hijackers Suprised to Find Selves In Hell
The Onion ^
| 09/26/2001
| The Onion
Posted on 09/25/2001 6:56:35 PM PDT by TrappedInLiberalHell
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To: workinggirl
They all look like Hanan Ashrawi, who makes Madelaine Albright look good!
To: HP8753
Friends, Freepers and fellow countrymen, I have a feeling the torments of hell for eternity will be the least of their worries... ;-)
To: TrappedInLiberalHell
There's something I've never understood about the religions that teach this "17 virgins meeting your every need and desire in heaven forever" biz. How do they get the women to believe this stuff, and to do the commands of that religion on earth? The men seem to be motivated by, of course, the promise of sexual pleasure (do the virgins revirginate, or is this a one-time pleasure x 17?), and cries of Glory! to their extreme masculinity and bravado. Okay, I get that. But why would women want to serve a god who clumps them in with 16 more women to share some jerk who blew up innocent people for the glory of their god?
To: GretchenEE
To: gonzo
I wonder why nobody ever mentions circumsizing these bastards, and feeding the foreskins to pigs? You seem not to know that the Moslems practise circumsizion.
65
posted on
09/25/2001 11:23:32 PM PDT
by
Nogbad
To: libsrscum
Better yet: "HAAAARRRCOURRRRT!" 70 times over... (Star Trek reference)
66
posted on
09/25/2001 11:36:03 PM PDT
by
coydog
To: ArcLight
The cartoon about the firemen...damn. Now I'm crying again... Yeah, that one gets me too...
There have been many truly excellent cartoons dealing with this tragedy, but if I had to pick just one to win top prize, that would be the one.
67
posted on
09/26/2001 12:02:02 AM PDT
by
Dan Day
To: gonzo
I wonder why nobody ever mentions circumsizing these bastards, and feeding the foreskins to pigs? Nah -- do it the *OTHER* direction...
68
posted on
09/26/2001 12:02:46 AM PDT
by
Dan Day
To: GretchenEE
Okay, I get that. But why would women want to serve a god who clumps them in with 16 more women to share some jerk who blew up innocent people for the glory of their god? Heck, fundamentalist Islamic women are not treated much better here on Earth, either...
69
posted on
09/26/2001 12:04:21 AM PDT
by
Dan Day
To: Nogbad
OK, circumcise a pig and feed the foreskin to a moslem.
70
posted on
09/26/2001 12:04:41 AM PDT
by
tdscpa
To: Nogbad
"...You seem not to know that the Moslems practise circumsizion..." Thanks, Nog! Is the pig-thing OK?....FRegards
71
posted on
09/26/2001 12:35:08 AM PDT
by
gonzo
To: Dan Day
"...Nah -- do it the *OTHER* direction..."Works for me!...FRegards
72
posted on
09/26/2001 12:37:14 AM PDT
by
gonzo
To: Dan Day
This one by Billie is excellent too
To: HiTech RedNeck
P.S. I mean the graphic in my post above was done by Billie. The link is just to her freeper profile page.
To: Travis McGee
Thank you.
Stay well -Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown
75
posted on
09/26/2001 5:32:07 AM PDT
by
harpseal
To: one_particular_harbour
"Indeed, I do not know what they were expecting, but they certainly didn't seem prepared to be skewered from eye socket to bunghole and then placed on a spit so that their flesh could be roasted by the searing gale of flatus which issues forth from the haunches of Asmoday."Yep, I would say that is a far cry from those upteen bazillion virgins they were expecting.
Works for me.
To: TrappedInLiberalHell
"According to Hell sources..."
Didn't know the Onion had sources inside the DNC.
To: TrappedInLiberalHell
It is amazing how paradise is promised and if that is so...why hasn't Osama done himself in it yet...
He keeps running and running and in the end he is just going to die tired!
78
posted on
09/26/2001 7:13:39 AM PDT
by
surfer
Comment #79 Removed by Moderator
To: one_particular_harbour
Thanks for the bump.
That was truly a joy to read. I am still laughing.
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