Posted on 05/30/2025 2:46:43 PM PDT by Drew68
Limpopo Beneficiaries Braai 30 Cows Awarded To Them To Start Farming Project
Ga-Mokopane, Limpopo – The sun had barely risen over the quiet village when the first aroma of sizzling fat filled the air. It started as a whisper the soft crackle of oil hitting meat, the hiss of spice meeting fire. By mid-morning, the village was alive with smoke, laughter, and the unmistakable scent of dreams being grilled.
This was no ordinary Saturday. It was meant to be the start of a new chapter 30 strong, healthy cows donated by a well-meaning NGO and the Department of Agriculture to empower local beneficiaries with a sustainable livestock farming project.
Instead, what unfolded was nothing short of a community-wide, slow-cooked rebellion.
From the moment the trucks offloaded the cattle, the mood shifted. There was cheering, ululation, and… a group of elders already sharpening knives with suspicious enthusiasm. “We were told these cows were for meat production,” said community spokesperson Fanie Malatji, now standing proudly behind three braai stands made from 200-litre drums. “So we wasted no time. This is what you call immediate implementation.”
Within hours, the once-ambitious livestock project had been rebranded not as a farm, but as Limpopo’s largest ever braai party. The cows didn’t get names; they got marinades.
The air was thick with music and the irresistible perfume of barbecue. Children danced around fires, women stirred pots the size of satellite dishes, and DJs blasted tracks like “Ngiyavuma (Meat Is Life)” and “Nshima Na T-bone Reloaded”. A goat somewhere in the distance watched in terrified silence, likely praying not to be next.
“I’ve never seen unity like this,” said one elderly woman as she flipped cow liver over a grill with a piece of roofing sheet. “Not even during elections.”
By the time government officials arrived, expecting to check on the project’s progress, they were greeted with what one might call a culinary crime scene. Bones were piled high, sauces were flowing like dam water in rainy season, and the last few ribs were getting their final sear. An agriculture officer was reportedly seen chewing in confusion before declaring, “We are… deeply disturbed. But whoever made this dry rub deserves a government tender.”
Photos of the event have since gone viral one especially iconic shot shows a man in a ZESCO overall of Limpopo dancing with a cow skull in one hand and a Coke in the other.
When pressed on what they thought the cattle were for, another community member wiped her hands on an apron that read “Braai Now, Apologize Later” and said, “We understood the assignment. We just chose the tastier route.”
The group has now been disqualified from any future livestock programs, but rumors are already swirling that they’ve been invited to headline a From Cow to Charcoal: African Flavors Tour sponsored by three meat companies and a hot sauce brand.
Asked what they’d do differently next time, Mr. Malatji replied with a chuckle, “Next time, give us chickens. At least those don’t moo in protest.”
Instead, what unfolded was nothing short of a community-wide, slow-cooked rebellion.
I'm certain our tax dollars were involved somewhere in this.
Served with a side of seed corn?
There’s always long pig when the beef runs out.
It’s why they can’t have nice things.
Some people can’t have nice things, because they can’t understand or value them.
I guess they don’t believe in delayed gratification.
Satire. Not exclusive to us.
We thought the exact same way.
Give a man a fish,,,
Like the little kids given a choice of having one cookie now or two cookies after school.
I know a guy that would go to Haiti to install water wells and piping. They tried to teach the locals how to do it. The locals could do it so they planned out the next piping system (the well was already installed), and ordered the supplies for them.
When he went back the following year the well was just sitting there not doing anything. Turns out the locals just sold the pump and pipes. And still using the dirty creek water.
"Truthiness"
Maybe it happened? Maybe it didn't? But it could have and if we donated 30 cows to start a livestock project, you can be certain they'd get eaten, just as every power transformer we build pretty much gets instantly disassembled and the copper wire stolen and sold for scrap.
Pretty much par for the course for every penny we've spent in Africa. There's nothing to show for any of it.
This reads like satire. Guessing it is.
That’s how I read it too. But good satire has you thinking, “Yeah, I could see that happening.”
“We understood the assignment. We just chose the tastier route.”
She’s proud to play them for the chumps they are.
Sounds like what happens in certain areas of our country.
Satire? Probably.
But if it happened while Obama or Biden were in the White House, the Limpopo guys would be moved to the U.S. as refugees and sent to Iowa or Wisconsin to teach U.S. farmers about African farming practices.
Kill the Boer!
Imagine what they’d do with credit cards.
A good friend of mine worked on helicopters for oil companies in Africa.
They told him to not leave the compound, for his safety, but he did regularly.
One of his favorite stories is about walking thru a defunct apple orchard that was created by some NGO. It was supposed to be managed by locals for food production. But the locals, when hungry, would just break off a limb to get a few apples straight from the tree.
If the apples were too high, they would just cut the tree down to get the ones they couldn’t reach.
The trees were barren or dead. No apples to be found.
He used it as an analogy to describe the culture as a whole. No long range planning. Grab what you can today before someone else gets it. No one cares about what will be left for tomorrow.
It will never change. And it is spreading to anywhere those people go.
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