Posted on 06/11/2020 3:30:33 PM PDT by Kaslin
President Donald Trump on Wednesday said he will not even consider renaming military bases like Fort Hood or Fort Bragg. But perhaps it is still worth considering the possibilities of offering recruits more truth in advertising via modern names. The following suggestions were sent in to us at The Federalist as potential solutions for this thorny problem:
Fort I Just Wanted Tuition Assistance
Fort 100% Promotion Rate
Fort 24% Interest Rate On A Camaro
Fort Distract Everyone With New Uniforms
Fort Weve Been Using The Same Small Arms For Fifty Years But The Navy Needs A New Carrier
Fort Dont Want To Repeat Vietnam So Lets Repeat Vietnam
Fort Tommy Franks Was An Idiot
Fort Bush Should Have Mined The Passages To Pakistan From Tora Bora
Fort Worthless Training Exercise
Fort VA Disability Claims
Fort Your Parts For Your Humvee Will Arrive In 6 Months
Fort Paula Broadwells Push Up Regimen Is Very Hard
Fort Act Like We Have Something To Train For, Then Do Equipment Inventories Instead
Fort Why Do Sergeant Majors Even Exist
Fort The General Is Getting A Sweet Gig With Lockheed Next Month
Fort Always Ready, At 40% Of Authorized Strength
Fort Unsustainable Cash Hemorrhage
Fort Two Advil Should Fix That Right Up
Fort PFC Numbnuts Married That Chick He Just Met Last Friday
Fort Fix PTSD On Your Own Time
Fort 35 Year Old Private With 6 Kids
Fort Are We Really Changing Uniforms Again?
Fort No, Seriously, Tommy Franks Really Blew It
Fort No Thats The Wrong Form Come Back Monday When We Are Closed
Fort Lost in the Woods?
Oh wait...taken.
Morons. They are the sort to think "gay" wedding cakes are about "cake."
It's not about cake. It's about forcing you to comply with their diktats.
Jim Nabors quit Gomer Pyle because he thought he was too old for the part.
Fort Where’s All The Watermelon Slices.
Fort Officers wasting their time with soldiers not paying child support
and
Fort Sargent getting new recruits pregnant
and the always exciting
Fort 19 years olds buying $40,000 Harley’s and losing it to repo
I’m good with renaming at least one of them W.T.Sherman...
Fort Lobotomy?
New Names:
1. Fort Hillary
2. Fort Obama
3. Fort Benedictine Arnold
4. Fort Tom Arnold
5. Fort Courage (F Troop)
6. Fort Sitting Bull
7. Fort Nat Turner
8. Fort Jubilation T. Cornpone (”First in war, first in peace and the first to say I quit”)
9. Fort Tom Mix
10. Fort Cuomo
L8r
It would never fly. It will be immediately pointed out how many Indians he killed. Doomed from the start.
Fort Diversity.
Fort Inclusiveness.
Fort United Nations.
Fort Dumb Downed Standards.
Fort Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse.
Fort No perfumed princes here.
Fort Dolly Madison and Martha Washington.
Fort Fix PTSD On Your Own Time...
That one’s only half funny to me. I follow the vets with TBI online and a lot of them definitely have this.
But as applies to the snowflake 20 something non vets? Yeah it’s funny.
Fort Fart
Given that my first experience with grits (grew up in suburban Boston) was at Fort Knox I’d like to see it renamed Fort Grits.
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