Posted on 06/27/2019 12:24:43 PM PDT by detective
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for...your straws?
Starting July 1, the nation's capital will officially be implementing arguably Draconian fines on restaurants and bar owners as D.C.'s government will be sending out the plastic Gestapo in full force to ensure that only biodegradable straws are handed out to customers. If you get caught handing out the newly ordained contraband so that your patrons can enjoy a vodka soda or a lemonade with ease, you better be ready to pay up some cold hard cash since you are contributing to pollution according to backers of the law.
Dcist.com reports that "starting on July 1, businesses can be fined $100 to $800 (or more) for failing to comply with the D.C. Department of Energy and Environment’s ban on plastic straws."
(Excerpt) Read more at townhall.com ...
Inmates:
Inmate one: “What’re in for?”
Inmate two: “bootleg plastic straws, six of ‘em”
Inmate one: “Dayum!!!
The first enviroweenie who gives me grief about a straw will be treated to the sight of me getting a second straw to use simultaneously and then told after the first sip: “Since you progressive nitwits like being offended … I mean, you spend so much time being easily offended … I thought I would help you out and specifically offend you some more. You’re welcome.”
Snorting coke through a hundie just became more economical than a plastic straw.
Start planting plastic straws in activist SJW restaurants you don’t like.
That’s a good idea....of course, bringing the straws back across a state line, hidden in a purse or something in order to replace the paper ones in a lib restaurant, then call in a complaint.....may now be an interstate crime, bringing in the FBI
FINE THE PATRONS FIRST
Simple fix to this problem.
Restaurants will add a surtax to every bill to pay the fines over straws. Just like they did to pay their helpless help $15.00 and hour.
Then in 3 months they go bankrupt because no one eats there anymore.
Confiscate the straw seems appropriate.
Sue under ADA laws. I often need a straw because I only have use of one hand.
Trafficking via the Dark Web for illicit plastic straws is going to be a thing. They just show up on your doorstep in an unmarked box. Kind of like your fentanyl. #Entrepreneur
Excessive fines are unlawful under Amendment VIII.
What if you bring your own?...................
They’re fly tying material, officer.
https://shopkarls.com/blog/amazing-shrimp-lure-made-plastic-straw-see/amp/
Ah, to be standing opposite of a SJW in another state, casually pull out a straw, wink and then proceed to drink through it!
Maybe something for 4 Corners?
I LIKE HOW YOU THINK!!
I suspect some DC officials are running straw biodegradation tests at over $100,000/year per official.
If you find some Democratic brains, make straws out of them, Democratic brains degrade quickly.
Just don’t leave any fingerprints or DNA on the straws you leave....
insanity
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