Now Tim Allen Is a Racist Because He Doesn't Know How to Play Spades

pjmedia.com ^ | 6/12/2019 | Jim Treacher

[rktman]

Toy Story 4 is premiering next week, which means the stars are doing interviews to promote it, which means the Internet is picking apart every syllable to find something to be angry about. Outrage mining is America's #1 growth industry.

Here's a snippet from what appears to be a harmless, lighthearted celebrity interview:

"You don't know how to play Spades?"

"I'm gonna say I do, just 'cause I wanna move on."

I thought this was kind of funny because I don't know how to play Spades* either. I don't like card games in general, and when people talk about them, it all just sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher to me. So Tim Allen cracked me up a little bit there.

But of course, that's my white privilege talking. I need to check it, because it's blinding me to what's really going on:

[rktman]

OFFS! These people are truly insane.

[Sam Gamgee]

I have no idea what spades is.

[BBQToadRibs]

Tim Allen is one of the rare right of center in Hollyweird. I like him.

[mylife]

Don’t get caught playing “Mutha ****a Jones”

[mylife]

Don’t get caught playing “Mutha ****a Jones”

[Red Badger]

Tonk...............

[willyd]

Tim made the mistake of appealing to the intellectual side of a liberal crowd.

[Hoffer Rand]

I played Spades with friends every day at lunch through most of my HS years. Tons of fun.

[Bratch]

It’s kinda like “Rook” but with poker cards.

[Political Junkie Too]

What does playing War make me?

-PJ

[Wiser now]

Neither do I, and like the author, I dislike card games. Period.

[be-baw]

“I played Spades with friends every day at lunch through most of my HS years”

I played it when I was in college living in a dorm. I much preferred pinochle. Now I don’t remember how to play either.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Something like Hearts.

I personally think anyone who doesn't like to play Rook is anti-avian.

Don't even get me started on people who don't know how to play Mille-Bornes. Bunch of neo-Luddites!

[Retrofitted]

Should I let them know my family is hooked on playing “pimp guts”?

http://www.pokerhomegames.com/poker-home-games-pimp-guts/

[glennaro]

In some parts of the country you could be labeled “racist” for playing a game called Spades.

[central_va]

But he has a nice Camaro.

[max americana]

Same here. University dorm life and especially in the frat house. Poker is real game with money but Spades does the trick.

[central_va]

Hearts is more fun.

[I want the USA back]

Of course not. They hate him because he has a TV show with a normal family, in which no one trashes anyone, no one tells filthy jokes, no one has an abortion, no one promotes gay crap, etc. So they hate him and want him off the air.

[Charles Martel]

Don't even get me started on people who don't know how to play Mille-Bornes.

I'll bet Tim would like this game.