Skip to comments.Hey Guys, Put a Ring on It
Posted on 02/09/2017 5:27:39 AM PST by C19fan
Marriage is not worth it. Its not worth the financial sacrifices, the lost sexual opportunities, and the lack of freedom. All in all, its a ball and chain of little benefit to any man interested in pursuing happiness and well-being. This is the view that weve encountered from many young men of late.
(Excerpt) Read more at nationalreview.com ...
The men you describe as “marriage prospects” risk the most; too many young men have seen that type ending up paying for some other guys to live with their ex-wives and children...
If there’s a breakup, 50-50 is best. (Both) keep that in mind throughout the marriage.
Unless and until the cesspit of abortion/divorce/custody/support is resolved equitably for men there will continue to be an erosion of male commitment to marriage.
Understand. But I look beyond the article. I look at the venue and where they’ve been. And, with their disastrous “Against Trump” revelation issue and their list of 20 odd clay Conservative writers they pretty much cemented my opinion of that whole outlet for news, commentary and/or opinion.
Frankly, I don’t give a rat’s patootie what the NR, its writers or anyone connected with it has to say. I’m tired of seeing their pathetic rehabilitative articles here on FR, actually.
I just sent the article to my 37 year old unmarried son. It has not yet occurred to him that he is running out of options. He says he wants to marry and have kids but hasn’t found the right woman yet. sigh
For a moment let’s ignore the religious and moral reasons. Marriage for man gives him what, in our present culture, that he can’t get without it? The traditional thinking would be to get married for love, sex, companionship. Today, the women give that away before marriage.
But unlike 50 years ago, the state has come in and said the marriage vows until death do you part are not a real thing. No matter what the two said on their wedding day. Thus marriage has become a contract with the state. A contract that typically has the man come out of a divorce significantly worse for wear. The family courts and law are simply biased against men. The soon to be ex-wife can accuse the husband of hitting her or abusing the kids. She will get him arrested on her word alone and a restraining order will soon follow kicking him out of his own home. Then he will proceed to lose half his assets and pay child support and possibly alimony. He will suffer all of this even if he didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe his wife just got bored. Maybe she is having an affair. It doesn’t matter, the marriage is over just because one party wants it to be over. And women initiate the divorce 70% of the time.
So the logical thing to do is weigh the pros and cons of getting married. The pros don’t really exist in our modern culture as all the old benefits of marriage can be attained by simply dating. The cons are terrible.
Now if you add in the religious and moral reasons to get married things get more complicated. Where are all the good women? The ones that haven’t been ridden around the block a half dozen times already? What do today’s women actually bring to the table that is worth the risk of a divorce? Obviously men are making that answer clear by delaying marriage later and later.....these women increasingly do not exist.
>>>I just sent the article to my 37 year old unmarried son. It has not yet occurred to him that he is running out of options. He says he wants to marry and have kids but hasnt found the right woman yet. sigh<<<<
Why can’t he just marry a much younger woman when he is ready to start a family? I’m 46 and have a newborn son.
Oh we were young and dumb when we got married thirty years ago. Not much money but two college degrees and a lot of love. Patience on his part coupled with passion on mine. Our son is now happily married and we hope understands marriage is a covenant with God at the head. It’s work. It’s forgiveness. It’s compromise. It’s selflessness. It’s being the rock for the other when bad news arrives ( which we got yesterday).
I’ve said it before: in a world of seven billion+ people, if you have one that is committed to loving you...treat him or her like gold and “grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel”
Half of all marriages end in heartache, disaffection and economic ruin. The other half end in divorce.
Marry a good woman, be a good husband, build a good family, be a good father.
There is nothing sweeter.
I know several fairly successful single men in their 30s that will likely never get married. The main reasons more men aren’t marrying is 3 fold 1) Quality of women has gone down 2) Divorce is nearly 1 in 2 and overwhelmingly initiated by women and 3) Divorce rape. If my wife left me now after our 10 years of marriage, I’d be paying ~$60k a year in alimony for the rest of my life even with 0 kids. Absolutely crazy. Fortunately, I don’t see us ever divorcing, but if I was making this kind of money as a single guy, I’d probably skip getting married or at least have the most iron clad pre-nup on the planet.
I feel sorry for them. They will miss that special intimacy that only married couples can enjoy.
I’m okay with that. He did date a woman for about a year who was 20. But 20 year old women all want a career. He needs to find some woman with a trust fund and a desire to make babies. Not a lot of them in Boston I guess. I keep telling him to start attending church (and not one of those hippy dippy lib churches) and find a nurse. They seem to make good wives. Or a teacher.
There is no perfect man or woman. But if you love each other, you learn to forgive each others foibles.
Who wants to get married if they’ll see 50% of their children? The ease with which people retreat to divorcing instead of resolving issues should give any man pause; we are still years away from divorce being as detrimental to women as it is to men.
For anyone that thinks I paint with a broad brush, why do you think 1) men are hesitant to marry/breed, and 2) women aren’t so hesitant to initiate a divorce? Even if we assume responsibility for failed marriages are split evenly, the results are certainly skewed against men. The millions of men that are quite content to go on to the next life without ever marrying or breeding can’t all be wrong; they’ve seen the effects on prior generations and are politely declining...
In the interests of full disclosure, I’ve been married for more than 20 years and have children; I just never presume that this life is for everyone, and made sure I married a woman from a culture that still frowns on divorce as an undesirable outcome.
As a long married man, I think this is weird to look at. Marriage, if it works, is great. I recommend everyone be in a working marriage.
Marriage, if it does not work, is terrible to someone who has something to lose. If you have a job, children, money, you will lose a large chunk of it, regardless of whether you are a man or a women. People that go into marriage as something that may end, are foolish. And the people who marry someone who is not committed completely to the marriage are foolish.
Usually losers go through several marriages. Or they are not really married. If you have a prenub, you don’t really have a marriage. It can turn into a marriage. It can simulate a marriage but it is not based on two people spending their lives together with all the struggles that life entails.
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