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Hey Guys, Put a Ring on It
National Review ^ | February 9, 2017 | W. Bradford Wilcox & Nicholas H. Wolfinger

Posted on 02/09/2017 5:27:39 AM PST by C19fan

Marriage is not worth it. It’s not worth the financial sacrifices, the lost sexual opportunities, and the lack of freedom. All in all, it’s a ball and chain — of little benefit to any man interested in pursuing happiness and well-being. This is the view that we’ve encountered from many young men of late.

(Excerpt) Read more at nationalreview.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: adulthood; genderwars; marriage; men
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As in many articles extolling the "benefits" of marriage the authors confuse correlation with causation. With today's marriage market only men who earn money and have career prospects, and have good health habits, i.e., not on meth are considered marriage material. Despite the anecdote of the Mr. Wilcox the unmarried men are most likely to be in the lower socioeconomic classes. Women have made it clear these type of men are not marriable material. Women consider the gov't much more reliable in the roles men played in the past.
1 posted on 02/09/2017 5:27:39 AM PST by C19fan
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To: C19fan

The men you describe as “marriage prospects” risk the most; too many young men have seen that type ending up paying for some other guys to live with their ex-wives and children...


2 posted on 02/09/2017 5:29:58 AM PST by kearnyirish2 (Affirmative action is economic warfare against white males (and therefore white families).)
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To: kearnyirish2

If there’s a breakup, 50-50 is best. (Both) keep that in mind throughout the marriage.


3 posted on 02/09/2017 5:32:48 AM PST by Does so ("The Business of America is Business"--President Calvin Coolidge...)
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To: C19fan; GOPsterinMA; Impy

Ping!


4 posted on 02/09/2017 5:33:14 AM PST by KC_Lion ("I'm a believer that you don't need a title, and you don't need an office to make a difference"~S.P.)
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To: kearnyirish2

Unless and until the cesspit of abortion/divorce/custody/support is resolved equitably for men there will continue to be an erosion of male commitment to marriage.


5 posted on 02/09/2017 5:33:24 AM PST by Louis Foxwell (The Left has the temperament of a squealing pig.)
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To: C19fan

Understand. But I look beyond the article. I look at the venue and where they’ve been. And, with their disastrous “Against Trump” revelation issue and their list of 20 odd clay Conservative writers they pretty much cemented my opinion of that whole outlet for news, commentary and/or opinion.

Frankly, I don’t give a rat’s patootie what the NR, its writers or anyone connected with it has to say. I’m tired of seeing their pathetic rehabilitative articles here on FR, actually.


6 posted on 02/09/2017 5:38:56 AM PST by Gaffer
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To: C19fan

I just sent the article to my 37 year old unmarried son. It has not yet occurred to him that he is running out of options. He says he wants to marry and have kids but hasn’t found the right woman yet. sigh


7 posted on 02/09/2017 5:40:04 AM PST by Mercat (Men never do evil so fully and cheerfully as when they do it out of conscience.” (Blaise Pascal))
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To: Louis Foxwell

bingo


8 posted on 02/09/2017 5:40:35 AM PST by rb22982
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To: C19fan

For a moment let’s ignore the religious and moral reasons. Marriage for man gives him what, in our present culture, that he can’t get without it? The traditional thinking would be to get married for love, sex, companionship. Today, the women give that away before marriage.

But unlike 50 years ago, the state has come in and said the marriage vows until death do you part are not a real thing. No matter what the two said on their wedding day. Thus marriage has become a contract with the state. A contract that typically has the man come out of a divorce significantly worse for wear. The family courts and law are simply biased against men. The soon to be ex-wife can accuse the husband of hitting her or abusing the kids. She will get him arrested on her word alone and a restraining order will soon follow kicking him out of his own home. Then he will proceed to lose half his assets and pay child support and possibly alimony. He will suffer all of this even if he didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe his wife just got bored. Maybe she is having an affair. It doesn’t matter, the marriage is over just because one party wants it to be over. And women initiate the divorce 70% of the time.

So the logical thing to do is weigh the pros and cons of getting married. The pros don’t really exist in our modern culture as all the old benefits of marriage can be attained by simply dating. The cons are terrible.

Now if you add in the religious and moral reasons to get married things get more complicated. Where are all the good women? The ones that haven’t been ridden around the block a half dozen times already? What do today’s women actually bring to the table that is worth the risk of a divorce? Obviously men are making that answer clear by delaying marriage later and later.....these women increasingly do not exist.


9 posted on 02/09/2017 5:46:08 AM PST by BJ1
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To: Mercat

>>>I just sent the article to my 37 year old unmarried son. It has not yet occurred to him that he is running out of options. He says he wants to marry and have kids but hasn’t found the right woman yet. sigh<<<<

Why can’t he just marry a much younger woman when he is ready to start a family? I’m 46 and have a newborn son.


10 posted on 02/09/2017 5:47:19 AM PST by BJ1
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To: C19fan

Oh we were young and dumb when we got married thirty years ago. Not much money but two college degrees and a lot of love. Patience on his part coupled with passion on mine. Our son is now happily married and we hope understands marriage is a covenant with God at the head. It’s work. It’s forgiveness. It’s compromise. It’s selflessness. It’s being the rock for the other when bad news arrives ( which we got yesterday).

I’ve said it before: in a world of seven billion+ people, if you have one that is committed to loving you...treat him or her like gold and “grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel”


11 posted on 02/09/2017 5:47:31 AM PST by karatemom
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To: C19fan

Half of all marriages end in heartache, disaffection and economic ruin. The other half end in divorce.


12 posted on 02/09/2017 5:48:42 AM PST by outofsalt ( If history teaches us anything it's that history rarely teaches us anything)
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To: C19fan

Marry a good woman, be a good husband, build a good family, be a good father.

There is nothing sweeter.


13 posted on 02/09/2017 5:49:46 AM PST by Iron Munro (If Illegals voted Rebublican 66 Million Democrats Would Be Screaming "Build The Wall!")
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To: C19fan

I know several fairly successful single men in their 30s that will likely never get married. The main reasons more men aren’t marrying is 3 fold 1) Quality of women has gone down 2) Divorce is nearly 1 in 2 and overwhelmingly initiated by women and 3) Divorce rape. If my wife left me now after our 10 years of marriage, I’d be paying ~$60k a year in alimony for the rest of my life even with 0 kids. Absolutely crazy. Fortunately, I don’t see us ever divorcing, but if I was making this kind of money as a single guy, I’d probably skip getting married or at least have the most iron clad pre-nup on the planet.


14 posted on 02/09/2017 5:50:13 AM PST by rb22982
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To: C19fan

I feel sorry for them. They will miss that special intimacy that only married couples can enjoy.


15 posted on 02/09/2017 5:50:37 AM PST by stilloftyhenight ("Victorious warriors win first, then go to war." Sun Tsu)
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To: BJ1

I’m okay with that. He did date a woman for about a year who was 20. But 20 year old women all want a career. He needs to find some woman with a trust fund and a desire to make babies. Not a lot of them in Boston I guess. I keep telling him to start attending church (and not one of those hippy dippy lib churches) and find a nurse. They seem to make good wives. Or a teacher.


16 posted on 02/09/2017 5:50:46 AM PST by Mercat (Men never do evil so fully and cheerfully as when they do it out of conscience.” (Blaise Pascal))
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To: C19fan

There is no perfect man or woman. But if you love each other, you learn to forgive each others foibles.


17 posted on 02/09/2017 5:51:02 AM PST by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
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To: Does so

Who wants to get married if they’ll see 50% of their children? The ease with which people retreat to divorcing instead of resolving issues should give any man pause; we are still years away from divorce being as detrimental to women as it is to men.

For anyone that thinks I paint with a broad brush, why do you think 1) men are hesitant to marry/breed, and 2) women aren’t so hesitant to initiate a divorce? Even if we assume responsibility for failed marriages are split evenly, the results are certainly skewed against men. The millions of men that are quite content to go on to the next life without ever marrying or breeding can’t all be wrong; they’ve seen the effects on prior generations and are politely declining...

In the interests of full disclosure, I’ve been married for more than 20 years and have children; I just never presume that this life is for everyone, and made sure I married a woman from a culture that still frowns on divorce as an undesirable outcome.


18 posted on 02/09/2017 5:51:09 AM PST by kearnyirish2 (Affirmative action is economic warfare against white males (and therefore white families).)
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To: C19fan

As a long married man, I think this is weird to look at. Marriage, if it works, is great. I recommend everyone be in a working marriage.

Marriage, if it does not work, is terrible to someone who has something to lose. If you have a job, children, money, you will lose a large chunk of it, regardless of whether you are a man or a women. People that go into marriage as something that may end, are foolish. And the people who marry someone who is not committed completely to the marriage are foolish.

Usually losers go through several marriages. Or they are not really married. If you have a prenub, you don’t really have a marriage. It can turn into a marriage. It can simulate a marriage but it is not based on two people spending their lives together with all the struggles that life entails.


19 posted on 02/09/2017 5:51:54 AM PST by poinq
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To: BJ1
IMO, children are for the young and stupid who have the energy and that certain naivete. I think one of the last things I'd have wanted is to attend my child's high school graduation after just applying for medicare. But that is me.
20 posted on 02/09/2017 5:53:02 AM PST by Gaffer
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