Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

100 Women 2016: I am a 'surrendered wife’
BBC ^

Posted on 12/04/2016 1:25:39 PM PST by ameribbean expat

It was incredibly humbling to recognise that I had something to do with why my marriage was failing and perhaps even why my first marriage failed. But it was also empowering.

I didn't know I'd been disrespectful to my husband or even that I'd been controlling and critical.

(Excerpt) Read more at bbc.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: genderwars; marriage
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-45 next last
To: ameribbean expat
My wife let's me drive. I'm happy.




21 posted on 12/04/2016 2:20:29 PM PST by stylin19a (obama = Fredo smart)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: mom4melody

My husband gives me wonderful gifts every day.


22 posted on 12/04/2016 2:22:59 PM PST by Bigg Red (To Thee, O Lord, I lift my soul. Thank you for saving our Republic.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Maceman

Very true.

A woman wishes to be desired, and a man wishes to be admired. More couples need to remember this and act accordingly.


23 posted on 12/04/2016 2:24:39 PM PST by Bigg Red (To Thee, O Lord, I lift my soul. Thank you for saving our Republic.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: ameribbean expat
Much of our fighting stemmed from the fact I thought my husband was clueless when it came to raising the children.

TL;DR Women don't know how to raise kids any better than their husbands. Being a woman does not give you "special" knowledge.

This, based on my experience with three of my own kids, is an enormous point. My wife and I have had serious fights about this, and it stems from the false concept promulgated by feminism, government literature and court practice and pronouncements, that women know best. Yes, mothers are nurturers and children need nurturing, but they also need to be trained and taught many things and some that are unpleasant. Women who launch into their husbands based on the premise that "He's wrong because that's not the way I would handle it" commit two serious logical fallacies. One is the assumption that she's right which is highly subjective, incredibly self-centered and likely wrong. Two, they assume that the child only needs what his mother gives and that there couldn't possibly be any other need. I've had to pointedly refute my wife that that thought is directly contrary to the fact that The Lord established that each child have TWO parents NOT one. In addition, few people understand human nature and even few believers understand the origin and nature of the Flesh. So they have zero discernment when their kids act up or have problems and are truly clueless about how to deal with the kid. When this goes further and wives set them selves up in opposition to their husbands they insult their husbands in a devastating way. If they do it in front of the kids they are literally fomenting disrespect and rebellion.

I know that this will make some of you cringe and I'll probably be labeled as sexist, but Eve's primary failure after believing the Enemy's lie was a failure to check with her husband. Based on her observation everything was good. Had she consulted with Adam first, things would have been very different. The basic principle established in Genesis 3 is that the Enemy works through the woman to destroy the man.

24 posted on 12/04/2016 2:49:09 PM PST by DeltaZulu
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ameribbean expat

Meanwhile on the reservation...

How to impress an Indian Woman....

Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her by her Indian name,
Hug her,
Support her,
Hold her in the moonlight,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Listen to her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Romance her,
Believe in her,
Cuddle with her at a 49,
Shop with her,
Give her many Pendleton Blankets,
No Indian Time,
Keep a job through Pow-Wow Season,
Carry her chair at Pow-Wows,
Give her beautiful Indian jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Don’t eat too much fry bread,
Give her many horses,
Keep the run down cars out of the yard,
Bead for her,
Play beautiful flute music for her,
Set up camp for her,
Hunt for her,
Give her lots of groceries,
Sing beautiful Indian Songs to her.
Have her balance the check book
and never asked how much is left !
Rub her feet, then ankles, knees and...

HOW TO IMPRESS AN INDIAN MAN

Show up nude with fry bread !!!!


25 posted on 12/04/2016 2:49:50 PM PST by Redcitizen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Huntress

Wow! I dig this; always have. And I am very happily married to the love of my life.


26 posted on 12/04/2016 3:04:54 PM PST by lulu16 (May the Good Lord take a liking to you!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: ameribbean expat

Well, it does explain the low divorce rate in strictly Muslim countries. Talk about some surrendered wives... LOL!


27 posted on 12/04/2016 3:10:30 PM PST by A_perfect_lady
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: mom4melody

“Gifts? Married women get gifts?”

That was a miss print.


28 posted on 12/04/2016 3:20:43 PM PST by dgbrown
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Huntress

You can’t have Mr. Mercat. He’s mine. We’re coming up on 47 years. Wow. He just confirmed that “we’re a team.” But IMHO the secret is that he makes the important decisions. I keep a certain level of veto power but basically I don’t want the responsibility of making the decisions. Up until l999 I tried to control everything... shoot, even up to 2003. I failed. I discovered two people - Dr. Laura and Jesus Christ, not necessarily in that order. I’ve still got a long way to go but I discovered that I love letting go and letting God. I also discovered that he makes a much better parent and the kids (haha 35-40) do better with him than with me.

Also, as a trial attorney (now in recovery), I learned that the worst thing I can do in a personal relationship is use my skills to win the argument.


29 posted on 12/04/2016 3:23:46 PM PST by Mercat (Men never do evil so fully and cheerfully as when they do it out of conscience.” (Blaise Pascal))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Huntress

It usually doesn’t start until married. Then the guys that have this kind of a wife need to deal with both them and the family court system which is rigged.

If the system wasn’t rigged most guys wouldn’t put up with it.

Incentive to marry is way down among a lot of males due to govt intervention.


30 posted on 12/04/2016 3:30:48 PM PST by bankwalker (Does a fish know that it's wet?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Mariner

It’s what the women’s vote caused.


31 posted on 12/04/2016 3:31:43 PM PST by bankwalker (Does a fish know that it's wet?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: DeltaZulu

To add to this there are strong data points that many (not all) single mothers raising kids (not widows) have done quite poorly. Generally speaking men who’ve had to take on the role have performed better.

There are many exceptions. A good thread I somewhere last night suggested many younger 20s women are interested in having families and settling down. They are more likely to take their advice from old Deloros down at church than the 45 year old never married, never had kids lady popping benzos.

I happen to know a terribly sweet, misguided lib who at 45 is Uber-fit and feminine in every way. Ideal 2nd wife type outside of the clueless political views. I suspect she’d even turn into a good conservative wife. However cucks, being cucks she wants to adopt an African-American child or at least black. Hey it’s nice she wants to give someone a good life but I’m 48 and if I wanted more kids I’d populate the earth with my excellent genetics. I really don’t want to adopt. I’d tried to explain virtue signaling to her but no dice. Now this woman despite her being a lib tells me privately she has no interest in dating a black man. So she won’t date a guy but wants to adopt? Regardless she is a basket case and I’d have to ignore her attractiveness because what happens if I go along with it and she goes bonkers? By the way for me I’d only adopt if I had a barron wife or was firing blanks. If I choose to have more kids I’d try with someone younger than 40 first. Once I had to adopt I wouldn’t be choosy.


32 posted on 12/04/2016 3:53:44 PM PST by techworker
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: ameribbean expat

As far as I know most women will act as this woman did...if you let them.


33 posted on 12/04/2016 4:10:38 PM PST by TalBlack (Evil doesn't have a day job....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Huntress

nor would I respect a man would tolerate from me. I also would not treat any man I loved that way.

Bingo. No one does.


34 posted on 12/04/2016 4:13:00 PM PST by TalBlack (Evil doesn't have a day job....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Mr. Jeeves
Heck, a lot of American girls grow up with no respect for THEMSELVES at any but the most superficial, rhetorical level. They screw to say "hello." They send naked pictures to a guy they met on the bus. They have more sex partners than a truck stop hooker.

They bring nothing to the table in a relationship, except childish demands. They can't cook, they don't know how to run a household, they want to work if they want to work, but are content to spend their husbands' money if they don't, all the while bitching that they're not treated fairly. And when the marriage inevitably fails, they walk away with half of everything even though they've contributed nothing.

And heaven forbid there are any children ...!

35 posted on 12/04/2016 4:26:47 PM PST by IronJack
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Redcitizen

Still laughing! Thats funny but soooo true


36 posted on 12/04/2016 4:35:56 PM PST by saywhatagain
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: saywhatagain

:) yeah it is. :)


37 posted on 12/04/2016 4:44:13 PM PST by Redcitizen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: Mercat

I’m not after your Mr. Mercat. But if you know a forty-something single fellow like him, put us in touch! ;-)


38 posted on 12/04/2016 6:44:25 PM PST by Huntress ("Politicians exploit economic illiteracy." --Walter Williams)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: DeltaZulu

I’m not to sure about your last point. Adam blamed God, indirectly, and Eve, by saying, “The woman You put here with me gave to me, and I did eat.” Eve was deceived, but Adam knew it was wrong, and did it anyway.


39 posted on 12/04/2016 7:35:23 PM PST by Flaming Conservative
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: Huntress

“I’m not after your Mr. Mercat. But if you know a forty-something single fellow like him, put us in touch! ;-)”

I’m a bit short on knowing those kinds of guys but I’ll keep an eye out. Will he have to move to Branson?


40 posted on 12/04/2016 8:11:40 PM PST by Mercat (Men never do evil so fully and cheerfully as when they do it out of conscience.” (Blaise Pascal))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-45 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson