Posted on 09/13/2013 4:19:05 PM PDT by MestaMachine
Dear FRiends,
This day is Erev Yom Kippur, (Yom Kippur Eve,) usually commemorated with two festive meals, the giving of charity, and asking others for forgiveness. This is to ask YOUR forgiveness for not explaining why all of my pings have stopped without anyone knowing why.
I wouldn't exactly call this a 'vanity', more like an explanation and apology to all of you who have added your names to any of my lists for why you don't get those oh, so many pings anymore.
Below is what this post started as. And THIS is how it ended. I figured it was better to show you *what only ywp pr three [ep[;e a;ready know than tp have you thonl I just qioy/>[?
*what only two or three people already know than to have you think I just quit.
To All the Freat freepers om amy of my ping ;ists.
Paet od this post is comp;etely unedited and pitposefully so. It's to show you as best I ca hy O dpm't [pst very ,uch any,ore.
Ihave ;pst ,ost comyro; pf ,y ,pypr skills and my eyesught is fokkowing very closely/ Both are failing and tryong to pst even one line takes amywjere frpm 20 ,imutes to hald an hour and stil has ty[ps even though I thinl it looks all right. It is frusteating amd embarrassing, nit I don't want anyobe to thiml I a, ignorong or disinterested becaise nothing could be further fro, the truth.
The illness conbomed woth a ,addive quantity of frigs has made ,y duslexoa nearly i,possible to cope with. Sometines I will type the same wrong letter three or fpir ti,es before I get iy roght and I odten end up in tears.
So you see. O do SO apologize if I have let you sowm or goven the ompression that just stopped caring. O woll never stop carong.
Thanl you and please don't stop pinging me to articles of interest. U read them all at 150 ,agnification,
U started this post at 2:-- AM pm the dot/ Oy is npw 2:30 and I am gpog tp edot ot.
Translation:
To All the Great Freepers on any of my ping lists:
Part of this post is completely unedited and purposefully so. It's to show you as best I can why I don't post very much anymore.
I have lost lost control of my motor skills and my eyesight is following very closely. Both are failing and trying to post even one line takes anywhere from 20 minutes to half an hour and still has typos even though I think it looks all right. It is frustrating and embarrassing, but I don't want anyone to think I am ignoring or disinterested because nothing could be further from the truth.
The illness combined with a massive quantity of drugs has made my dyslexia nearly impossible to cope with. Sometimes I will type the same wrong letter three or four times before I get it right and I often end up in tears.
So you see. I do SO apologize if I have let you down or given the impression that I just stopped caring. I will never stop caring.
Thank you, and please don't stop pinging me to articles of interest. I read them all at 150 magnification.
I started this post at 2:00 AM on the dot. It is now 3:20 and I edited it but I have to add something. (Editing as I go now.)
When this first started, and the posts were really screwed up even after I had edited them, I would ask the mods, who I am so grateful to, to pull them and sometimes they were gone before I even got back to the page. Thank you, Mods. I realized I couldn't keep doing that for long. The Mods aren't babysitters and they have more important things to do than stop me from embarrassing myself.
The final kicker though, was a Freepmail I sent to Brad's Gramma. She sent it back to me and said it was the first good laugh she had had all day. When I saw what I had sent, I was beside myself. She understood it, but I don't know how. And that was the end mostly.
I have several rather large ping lists and would be extremely grateful if someone could take one or two and get the word out. Please Freepmail me if you would. I will give the links and graphics and explain how to keep the indexes right with the links. Anything I can do to help, I will...gladly.
Tomorrow is Yom Kippur and I will be offline all day from sundown today. May G-d hear my prayers.
You guys have all been terrific and I am so sorry.
Finished at 4:55 AM. Holding to post until afternoon.
You know I love ya, sweetiecakes.
Ditto.
Godspeed MM.
Bless you. I understand the frustration. Hang in. You’ve earned a chauffeured ride on the FR express. Thanks for all your fine contributions over the years.
Once you explained what the deal was with the typsos, I found that the text was not hard to read at all, and would suggest that you continue to post, typographical warts and all. I blame Darks, anyhow. ;)
Prayers up!
Lord Jesus Christ, be with Thy servant and guide his hand as he struggles with dyslexia, shine Thy face to him, and be with him forever.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, amen.
Apologies are only needed for those who are crass and incapable of understanding that as we ALL grow old, we encounter and are forced to endure many things that aren’t “normal” for us.
Your explanation and the admittance of your difficulties is heartbreaking and I wish you the best in your struggles to deal with this infirmity.
God’s Blessings upon you MM.
I join in earnest, urgent prayer for you, dear MestaMachine!
Mesta, prayers up and don’t know what we would do without you! Hang tough
Works for me.
;-)
Dear FR-Friend:
Wish I could have helped you more than the little I did. Prayers go with you!
Prayers being said for you for comfort, and that medical treatment can be found to restore your abilities.
On a side note-I noticed a post here from another FRiend that suggested handicap tools for use with computers. I recall seeing advertisements, sometime back, for a program called Dragon(?) where you only had to speak into a microphone, and it would type for you. At least you might be able to continue posting with this? Just a thought.
The Lord's Peace be with you.
I have a blind friend who uses the computer all the time and I think she does this — just speaks her message and it types itself.
Don’t even know where to begin to start trying to tell you all how overcome and thankful I am for each and every poat on this thread. This is not at all what I expected and G-d has so blessed me I am speechless. Trying tp gather my thoughts and can’t. I think most of you have seen the news about blackie and I can’t seem to get past that just yet. So I’ll be be back later in the day when some of the shock has worn off. Thank you all so much.
The honor is mine. I love your posts. Most importantly, your communications are always spot on and that is what is important. In my mind you are putting your postings in code. And in light of the NSA, FBI, IRS, et al., that is a very smart thing to do. : ) So, please don't get upset and frustrated, your PINGs are so very much appreciated.
You are in my prayers and thoughts, always.
C
Prayers up to you Mesta!! You have provided us with many useful threads. Let me know who has responded to your request for taking over your PING lists. I may be able to help, at least part time.
Oh man, I am so sorry you are suffering like this. I love you and I just prayed for you.
Threat Matrix List, too.
This afternoon, MestaMachine was hospitalized for further treatment. She borrowed a laptop for the duration, and may be able to check FR from time to time.
Here is her latest note:
"Cant crack the 95 pound barrier no matter what I do.
"There has been no change at all in my blood situation. Received one fresh unit Thursday, so doing a little better. Was getting bad though. Kept seeing white squigglies and having dizzy spells.
"In the Hospital, first they will build me up, then two surgeries, 1- a bowel resection, and 2- removal of a duodenal ulcer that isnt responding to treatment; the pain is unbelievable sometimes.
"They have tried different medications but nothing worked and the ulcer keeps growing. My stomach goes into spasms and then I can barely move. I get dehydrated and the leg cramps are horrible. I drink Gater Ade by the quarts. The only thing left is surgery, and they will do a biopsy.
"The bowel resection is for lesions in my upper bowel caused by the immense amount of medication I have to take for everything else including my heart and my lungs. "Dont have any idea how long I'll be hospitalized. First they have to build me up so they can operate, then build me BACK up again before I can come home.
"The good news is if this succeeds, they can put me back on the heart transplant list. ... Dont know how long that will take, but the recovery time is usually over a year. Not looking forward to any of this except if it isnt done, I am done for sure."
MestaMachine needs our Prayers, - and on her FR page, she asks for financial help. ... Here we have a Military Veteran asking for financial help to cover medical expenses (caused by war wounds.) The cost of her medications alone would break a bank. Previously, drs have treated her for everything from being shot and left to die... to setting every major bone in her body... caused by the ROP almost succeeding in beating her to death. Mesta also has additional concerns for her five year old child.
Hit her fundraiset, here:
http://www.gofundme.com/2edleo
Or send checks to FReeper Springfield Reformer who will forward money to her... contact him for further information.
Mesta, we love you and you're in our Prayers.
[Please excuse any double pings.]
Praying now.
Good Lord. I thought I knew Mesta. I had no idea.
I'll get with my wife tomorrow and figure out how much we can spare to help.
Thank you for this post, Lucy.
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